Terrible Things
by 4dauntlesscake
Summary: Clary's life has never been perfect.With a past she's tried to get away from and a newly found sickness bringing the terrible things she thought she left behind years ago back to haunt her; she's perfectly fine with staying under the radar in high school. However it's pretty hard to do with her brother being the most popular kid in school binging her unwanted attention.
1. Chapter 1: Early Risers

**Disclaimer: I do not own the mortal instruments or any of the characters (aside from the ones I create). Only the storyline. First fanfiction hope you like it!**

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**Chapter One: Early Risers**

(Clary POV)

My life may not be perfect. But hey, I'm not complaining. I have a mother and step father who I love dearly. My brother, Jonathan, is my rock though. Whatever I've gone through he went through with me. I'm content with my life, I'm never expecting it to get better than it already is, but I never expected it to get worse…

I wake up to the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. As I glance at the clock it reads 3:26am, I don't really register it though from the stabbing pain in the back of my head making all my thoughts feel scrambled and muffled like an out of tune radio. I put my head in my hands trying to numb the pain which obviously doesn't work, but does cause me to tumble out of my bed with a loud 'Thump' when my head hits the ground increasing the pain tenfold. There's nothing more for me to do than crawl into a fetal position and pray this pain goes away. I don't notice my screaming until my brother, Jonathan , barges into the room looking frantic. His face is blurry as my sight keeps going in and out of focus As lights start to turn on in our small house, making my already terrible headache worse, I see my mom and Luke run in. there is a similar concerned look on Luke's face while my mother is going borderline insane. They're talking in fast frantic voices where I can just make out some of their conversation.

"We need to take her to the hospital" I hear Jonathan say, his voice raised above Mom and Luke's.

I want to say I'm fine but all I can make out is a soft grunt . Jonathan hugs me closer to him on his lap making sure to be gentle like I'm his most prized possession. I feel myself slipping.

"No, it'll take too long, call an ambulance" My mom says already searching for a phone. Her voice sounds muffled in my ears from a ringing sound in my head.

" Oh god she's bleeding. hurry!" I hear Jon yell. Looking down on me with an expression so crushed. He's always felt everything bad that has ever happened to me is somehow his fault. Although I've never seen him this broken, bringing a new kind of pain deep in my heart from seeing him this despaired.

I have just enough energy to lift my hand to feel something uncomfortably warm cover my fingers just under my nose. I lift my hand to see my fingers covered in my own blood. Making me feel even more lightheaded. All I can do is let my head slump back and hang limply in my brother's arms as he carries me downstairs to a blur of flashing lights. There are unfamiliar voices talking over each other. I'm gently placed onto this white bed as people start to examine me, taking my vitals, temperature and other things I'm too exhausted to recognize. One of the doctors, however, isn't even in a uniform… but pajamas. He reminds me of my next-door neighbor who just moved in a couple of months ago with his wife and kids. _Whatever _I think, after the doctors finish scribbling notes around me they leave me alone to talk to my mom and Luke.

_ Finally_ I think, there is nothing more that I want to do than sleep. Unfortunately though, the headache is relentless sending salty tears streaming down my face, making it even harder for me to breathe. Paramedics I'm guessing, seem to notice and quickly place me into the ambulance and start giving me oxygen through a mask.

_ Oh no_ I think to myself.

_This isn't like any normal headache I've had in the past_; even through my muddled thoughts I could figure this out. Especially by the way Jon's acting, he looks livid, the only things keeping him from running to me are Luke and another paramedic holding him back. When we make eye contact his crushed look is back as he whispers 'I'm sorry', still struggling to get to me. I feel my tears falling harder as the paramedics close the ambulance doors

I'm scared.

My breathing is getting even more ragged than it was as my headache starts to get worse(if that's even possible). I could see my reflection in the insanely clean windows surrounding me in the ambulance, my entire 4 foot 11 inch self. My curly, fiery red hair going in all directions; I guess when you wake up in an intense amount of pain you wouldn't think of running a brush through your hair a couple of times. My bright green eyes glossy from unshed tears. I'm a mess. I want my mom, I want Luke, I want my Jon. I feel the ambulance start to move and I see my brother trying to run after it. _he's always been a good runner_, I think, he _is _the co-captain of the high school football team, the youngest one they've ever had. he eventually falls to his knees in the middle of the street putting his head in his hands. Mom and Luke are still on the lawn by our house, my mom raking with sobs into Luke's shoulder.

It's hard to believe just hours ago I was doing my two favorite things; drawing and singing in my room thinking about such mundane things, like how I'm going to get through my first school year without Simon by my side. If _HE_ will ever find us again. Or who those new kids are next door? But now I'm here, probably about to die from god knows what and I haven't even gotten to say goodbye to anyone I love. I guess that's what death is usually like though, unexpected.

A lack of oxygen, even with the mask around my mouth, is starting to affect me more. Uncontrollable coughing spams start happening spontaneously, until blood isn't only coming from my nose but from my mouth too. The nasty metallic taste filling my mouth with every cough little by nurse next to me in the back of the ambulance notices and gets to work taking out different bottles, tubes and syringes setting up and IV and filling it with a clear liquid. I barely feel it when the needle connected to the IV is plunged into my wrist, I'm already really out of it. The mysterious liquid immediately takes affect making me feel lighter, I like it. The world is swimming around me and all of a sudden the car hits a speed bump which I happen to find hilarious at that moment when I burst out laughing, in turn, causing another fit of coughing. The car (and probably the drugs, too) start to lull me to sleep as I drive to an uncertain future.

The last thing I see before the drugs take over is the soft strands of golden blonde hair being tousled by the wind as the ambulance speeds by.

** 3 years later…**

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**AN: Thank you guys so much for reading my first fanfic I had so much fun writing the first chapter and I hope you all enjoyed! Please enjoy these virtual waffles as a token of my gratitude. ###**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	2. Chapter 2 New Starts, Bad Beginnings

**WARNING: THERE WILL BE CURSING IN THIS CHAPTER**

**Chapter Two: New Starts, Bad Beginnings**

Clary POV

'CLARY' I hear Jon call from downstairs. It's 4:45 in the morning and he's waking me up. The nerve. I choose to ignore him, which is working pretty well until I hear him running up the stairs. The next thing I know is he's laying on top of me.

"Jooooon! I can't…" I almost finish before he rudely interrupts me.

"What? Because I'm pretty comfortable where I am right now." He says playfully still laying on top of me.

" Very funny." I say with my voice dripping with sarcasm. It comes out very breathy from his bony spine jabbing into my ribs making it hard to breathe.

" Move your fat ass off me or I swear I'll…" I wasn't able to finish my threat when a violent fit of coughing over came me.

Jonathan immediately gets off me his face turning from playful to concerned that second sitting me up right and passing me my bottle of water by my bed. I chugged the entire water bottle in two drinks. When I looked back at him worry was written all over his face; he didn't say anything for a couple of second to make sure I wasn't going to start coughing again.

"Are you okay?" Jon asked in his protective, big brother way he always does when something like this happens. "You know, maybe you shouldn't go to school today. Sure it's the first day of school but I can get all the packets from your teachers and your schedule you should just take another day to-"

"Jon." I say, silencing him. " I'm perfectly fine to go to school see." I say while standing up to get my clothes I had neatly hung up the day before in my small closet.

Jon sighs, looking defeated. "Fine." He says "But take it easy today…"

"Why?" I said, slightly annoyed at how worried he's acting right now. "I have cancer not diabetes." I say with a little vemon in my voice.

I immediately regret saying it when I see him flinch at the 'C' word.

It's been three years since I've been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Of the 52,000 known cases in the United States. 80% have been fatal. I guess you could call me a the night I woke up with that horrific headache, the cancer had spread and metastasized almost 5 times it's size. I was as good as dead. Thanks to some miracle workers ,though, including my neighbor, Doctor Lightwood, who is now the head of my cancer case, they saved me. Through the course of my 8th grade year I went through intense chemotherapy causing all of my hair to fall out leaving me bald. And let me tell you; it wasn't pretty at all. Out of all the people though, Jonathan took it the hardest. When he wasn't in school or at football practice, he would spend every waking hour with me.

That's how I met the Lightwoods. Isabelle, who never let anyone talk crap about me when I came back to school in high school bald. Alec, he may be kind of shy but he was always there to listen to me and could even get me to crack a smile when he would talk about his flamboyant boyfriend, Magnus. And then there's Jace, he's my brother's best friend so he's ALWAYS at our house. He's you basic popular, extremely hot but an extreme asshat. God he can really get under my skin sometimes.

"Jon," I said more gently this time sitting next to him on my bed "You don't need to worry so much. I've been in remission for two years." I say stressing the words.

"besides, I have you and Isabelle and all your big, strong football buddies to protect me." I say poking him in the ribs

"I am pretty strong, you forgot handsome though." He said smirking while flipping his short black hair making me giggle.

"Come on get dressed we leave in 10 minutes." He said patting me on the head like

I'm a little kid and then walking out.

I finish getting ready in 8 minutes, a new record for me. I grab my backpack and put in my phone, headphones, a sketchbook and some pencils. You don't really need much going into your first day of your junior year in high school.

I look at myself in the mirror before walking out of my room. I'm wearing black leggings with white t-shirt and my favorite pair of converse. I put my newly re-grown hair into a fishtail braid over my shoulder to keep it in place for once instead of my curly locks going everywhere. One thing I can't hide are random red splotches on my arm from where my cancer left its ugly mark on me. I sigh and grab my light brown cardigan as I leave my room and walk toward the kitchen. As I walk in I see none other than Jace Lightwood. In my house, eating my bagels, with my brother. If I can just sneak out the back door…

"There she is!" I here Jace yell from the kitchen. Setting down what looks like his th bagel he walks over wrapping me in a bear hug that lifts me off my feet. When he puts me down he goes back to our kitchen island and continues to eat his bagel.

"So," He says his mouth full of bagel "How've you been? It's been a while."

"Jace, I saw you yesterday at your house." I say moving toward the kitchen. I look in the box of bagels we got yesterday and see my favorite cinnamon sugar bagel in the bottom of the box. My hunger just isn't there though so I decide to skip breakfast.

"That doesn't mean nothing has changed in those short hours. A lot could've happened." He said matter-of-factly

"Like what?" I asked

" I don't know, you could've become blonde, or bought a hamster, or maybe you decided to get a gold tooth." He said shrugging

"Why would I EVER do any of those things?"

before he could answer my question, there's a knock on the door. Who would be knocking on our door this early in the morning?

"I'll get it!" I say before this conversation could get anymore awkward.

When I open the front door a short scream escapes me as I see Simon on the other side. The Simon I've known since I was 5 years old, the Simon who was my friend not because my brother was popular but because he liked me for me. Before I think I run up and hug him, catching him off guard by the way he stumbles back a little.

"Thank god. I thought I had the wrong house for a second." I hear him say. I can't help but laugh, I missed him so much.

"I missed you Si." I say into his shirt

"I missed you too, gingy."

We hug in silence for a couple more minutes until I feel Simon tense up. I turn around to see Jon and Jace watching us. Jace with his usual amused smirk on his face. I'm to excited and happy to care though.

"Well, If it isn't Simon Lewis." Jon says walking toward Simon to give him one of those weird guy hugs. "What brings you back? And to our house this early?"

" My mom's job moved us back here and I thought I'd say hi to my two co-captains since I'm on my way to football practice right now." He said

"Sweet man. What position do you play?" Jace asked, talking for the first time since he entered. I might of imagined it, but I might have heard a twinge of jealousy in his voice. No one seemed to notice so I \just let it go.

" Wide receiver. You?"

"Running back." Jace said non chalantly picking at another bagel.

An awkward silence filled the room for some time until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Speaking of football practice if you guys don't leave now you'll all be late." I said.

There was a chorus of 'yes's from the guys and a sly wink from Jon as a thank you for breaking the tension.

"Yeah, I better get going. I guess I'll see you guys at school. Wanna ride Clary?"

I looked at Jon for approval, which he gave easily. Jace, though, was looking down holding his keys way too tight that his knuckles are white.

"Sure." I said surprisingly cheerfully. " I guess I'll see you guys when we get there I said walking to the door, Simon at my side.

"be safe" I hear Jon say.

"Yeah, Yeah."

" Seriously though. I swear Lewis if there's even a scratch on her I'll…"

" Relax Jon, it's a 15 minute ride to school, I think we can manage." I say turning back around to give my brother a hug, which he actually accepts. I then run back to Simon pulling him to his 2008 Chevrolet Cobalt and we drive away.

"So." He says as he drives, " Have I missed anything in my three year absence?" I know what he trying to get at by the way he keeps glancing at the red splotches on my arms. I pretend not to notice.

"You know, the usual, school. There's this girl at school I know, Isabelle, who I think you might like, maybe you'll hit it off with her." I say playfully squiggling my eyebrows.

" Mmhmm" He says,

still distracted by my ugky splotches, not even trying to look at the road anymore. Until both of our heads shoot up at the sound of a honking horn. While his head was down he had moved into the wrong side of the road with a car coming straight at us. I bring myself into a fetal position with my head in between my legs too scared to see what was about to happen. I feel Simon swerve the car hard enough to slam me into the door.

My adrenaline is still pumping when he pulls over to the side of the road, So I don't really register when I hear the passenger side door swing open causing me to fall to the ground since I was still leaning on it. I fall onto soft grass still in my fetal position, too shocked to move.

" Oh, shit!" I hear Simon say as he peels my arms away from my head as gently as he can while pulling me up into a sitting position against the car.

" Clary? Clay. Come on Clary talk to me" He says desperately shaking me.

Although I can hear him my brain just feels out of focus. As the adrenaline starts to wear off , I start to feel pain on the right side of my body that took most of the impact. Ever since the cancer, it doesn't take as much to wear me out or hurt me. I know there's going to be a huge bruise on my hip and I feel blood starting to pour down my right hand. Still, though, I don't really register anything. That is, until I heard the roar of a certain Black Mercedes Benz E550 screech to a stop next to Simon's car.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED." I hear my brother yell, sounding enraged. Jace isn't far behind him looking just as pissed off.

I see Simon pacing in front of me running his hand through his brown hair over and over mumbling to himself. This seems to annoy Jace even more. He takes action by slamming him into Simon's car holding him by his shirt.

"Did you not just hear him ratface? What the hell did you do to her?" In a voice so repungent it caused Simon to stumble over his next words.

" I… I got distracted… a- and umm swerved the car." He said terribly intimidated.

"Well how the hell did Clary get hurt?!" he said even louder

" It was either that or get hit by a car!" he yells back at him

"And who fault is that?" He says, eerily calm

Simon doesn't answer.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He says letting go of Simon I disgust causing him to fall to the ground.

As I attempt to stand up my bruised hip sends a bolt of pain causing me to cry out and begin to fall back down. Before I could even fall to the ground, Jace was there swooping me up painlessly into his arms bridal style. Usually I would tell him to put me down but it felt… nice. Simon was on the ground next to his car with his head in his hands his shoulders moving up and down like he's crying.

"Clary," he said looking up at me with desperate, red-rimmed eyes.

"Don't," I hear Jon say, not even bothering to look at him. "Stay away from her Lewis or I swear to god I'll make your life a living hell. Come on Jace,"

They look at each other for a split second and seem to make a silent agreement where Jace gets in the back seat with me and Jon is in the front seat glancing back every now and then while he's driving.

Still in a slight daze, I only jerk out of it when I feel the sting of antiseptic being spilt on my right hand. I hiss as it makes contact with my hand and try to get it out of Jace's grasp which doesn't work.

"Hey, it's okay, if you haven't noticed my dad's a doctor." He says with a smile on his face which is a nice change to his signature smirk. I meet his eyes and immediately feel more relaxed. The slight blood loss probably also had a small part in it but I'm gonna go with the Jace option.

He takes some gauze from a portable first aid kit in his car and begins to gently wrap my hand, firmly, but not enough for it to hurt. By the time we reach Alicante high, luckily, they're only a couple of minutes late. While Jace, reluctantly, gets out to tell the coach why they're late. I'm left with Jonathan in the car for a couple of minutes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked looking me up and down for anymore injuries and stops at my hand.

" Yeah, just a little sore" I say gently laying down on the back seat of Jace's car.

"I swear I going to kill him.." he says half talking to himself his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white.

I don't really know what to say to that. It was an accident… but at the same time it wasn't. The way he looked at me was like he'd never seen my scars before. I may not be the most secure person about my appearance but somehow it got to me in a way where if he wasn't my best friend I probably wouldn't be feeling so ugly. I felt tears threaten to spill over my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I sniffed loudly enough for Jon to hear and break him out of his angry reverie. He gets out of the front seat and moves to the back laying my head on his lap, like I would when I would get scared when I was younger, he would let me crawl on top of him and just sit there with me, being my rock when things wouldn't always be alright. I yawn, stretching but I immediately regret it when I feel pain blossom from my abdomen. Jon seems to notice me flinch and sees the dark purple bruise that has formed right where my shirt rode up from stretching. He tries to get out but I put my hand on his arm to keep him from beating up Simon.

"Relax," He says, "I'm just getting you some ice." He gets out of the car and runs the short distance to the locker room, disappearing when the door closes behind him.

I must have fallen asleep. When the door opened again, it wasn't Jon, but Jace holding the ice pack. The cold pack on my bruise caused me to hiss at first but eventually brought a welcoming coolness to the constant pain at my hip. Just as Jace was about to leave I put my hand on his forearm. He stopped and turned around to look at me in the eyes; green meeting gold.

"Stay with me, please." I ask him, still groggy from sleep. I don't know why I asked him, it just felt right to be around him.

"Always." He said quietly, coming to the back seat and laying me on his chest. I might have imagined the next part but I'm pretty sure he kissed the top of my forehead right as sleep overtook me.

**AN: Wow that was a long chapter! Tell me what you think about it and if you guys want me to write in other people's point of view. Thank you so much for your continued support and amazing comments You guys are amazing!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	3. Chapter 3: No Seatbelt Required

**Chapter Three: No Seatbelt Required**

Jace POV

Perfect.

The only way I could describe this moment. I've never felt this feeling bubbling up inside of me with any other girl I've dated, and we're not even dating! And with her brother being my best friend, we might never.

Clary looked so peaceful laying on my chest. She'd been through so much already and then Simon had to come along and make everything worse. I skipped football practice this morning because I just couldn't stand to even look at him. I don't know how I'm going to get through today… or the rest of the year.

I feel Clary begin stir after about an hour until her eyes open looking directly at me. Those beautiful green eyes…

"Morning," I say a little cockily. Damn. I'm usually irresistible when it comes to flirting, and all I can think of is _Morning_?!

Her eyes get wider when she notices that she's laying down on me and quickly gets off of me into a sitting position. She cringes at the pain from her side laying her head on the window closing her eyes tightly. She looks pale. All I want to do is gather her in my arms and take away her pain. I know better though, If I try to touch her again she'll just swat me away. We aren't exactly the best of friends…

"You okay there, gingy?" I say knowing she hates that nickname.

She doesn't say anything, just opens one of her eyes to glare at me then flips me off. I know I shouldn't be picking fun at her, especially when she's this hurt. But I can't let her know how I feel about her.

" Wow, someone's grouchy."

"Shut up, asshole." She returns with as much venom she can put into her voice. It hurts hearing it from her even though I know I deserve it.

I put on my regular smirk to hide it and retort back

" Wow, I thought you'd be more grateful after what happened this morning."

"Like what?" she hisses back

"I don't know? Getting you away from that ratface creep, letting you sleep in MY car."

" Wow Jace," she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. " Thank you SO much for saving me, it really means a lot. Now don't you have some slut to make out with in the janitor's closet? Is it Kaelie this week? Or are you starting the year off with Seelie?" She said progressively getting more irritated.

This pisses me off a little. Sure I've dated some sluts but who could resist all _this_?

I let my temper get to me. The next thing say will haunt me for the rest of my life.

" At least I can get people to genuinely like me, even before you having cancer you weren't much of a looker." I say looking her at her scars just to make my point.

Her eyes are still closed as I said those terrible words. We were both perfectly still for a second before Clary reaches for the car door attempting to open it, which turned out being locked.

"Let me out." I hear her whisper, her face turned toward the car door.

"Clary-" I say feeling terribly guilty for the words that just came out of my mouth.

" LET ME OUT JACE!" she yells, turning her face to me. Her pale face is streaked with tears that keep falling out of her puffy, red-rimmed eyes.

I start to move toward her before I can even think about my actions. My hand moves toward her tear streaked face, trying to wipe away her tears. Clary reacts quickly once she realizes what I'm trying to do by swatting away my hand with her good hand.

"Get. Away. From. Me." She says slowly, perfectly enunciating every word.

"Clary, I am so sorry." I say desperately, deeply regretting letting my anger get to me

The door is still locked but she keeps trying to open it, she eventually gives up, slamming her hand into the window and curling in on herself. All I can see is her back heaving up and down and her shoulders raking with sobs.

Her crying slows down and she eventually looks up at me her green eyes filled with an undying sadness that breaks my heart in half.

"I guess you pretty much hit it on the mark." She says looking away from me.

Oh no. No no no. she can't be agreeing with me. There is no way she can't see what I see whenever I look at her.

"Clary you know that's not true." I say pleadingly.

" You just said it yourself." She says firmly. " before I was and awkward 12 year old going through puberty. Now I'm just an ugly 16 year old time bomb with the scars to prove it." She says matter of factly. She looks back out the window when she finishes talking; her mouth is in a tight line and her eyes keep fluttering like she trying hard to keep her sobs from escaping her.

Before I know what I'm doing I scoop her up into my arms, ignoring what she had said to me earlier, and let her sobs escape her onto my shirt.

I've always had a place in my heart for Clary since I met her when Jon let me come with him to the hospital. Usually it's the patients who need cheering up, but she was a ray of fiery red light from the moment I came into her hospital room. I remember how her beauty struck me even with all her hair gone, hair or no hair she was gorgeous. Her large green eyes were what struck me first anyways, and the way her freckles would, and still do, frame her face perfectly whenever that breathtaking smile would bless any room she was in. I remember her recognizing me from all the stories Jon would tell her about me. And how her face would morph into a look of annoyance whenever I would poke fun at her or irritate her. Then I remember how her angelic glow would shine duller whenever my adoptive father would come in to give her, her chemotherapy, how she would always reassure US not to worry when she was probably scared to death. I remember how Jon and I would distract her from the pain by telling her about the embarrassing events that had happened to people at school until she would fall into a fitful sleep.

I remember telling myself to always protect her from the pain she couldn't avoid.

But here I am, falling for the girl who is now ashamed of herself from the pain that I brought to her.

" Hey." I say getting her to look me in the eyes "You're beautiful. There is no way to say how sorry I am for the disgusting, terrible, awful words I said just because I let my temper get to me."

" I don't need your pity," she says dryly, "I already get enough from my teachers every year."

"I'm serious," I say firmly " I don't know how else to put it, you were beautiful the first day I met you and you're beautiful now. My heart skips a beat whenever I see you and I can't help but get into a good mood whenever I see you smile." I say quickly, not being able to control the words coming out of my mouth now, "It breaks my heart to see you in pain and I feel absolutely terrible knowing that I've caused it to you. You think your ugly but your absolutely not, you have the scars to prove how strong you are and you don't need anyone's pity, I've seen what you can do to people even when you just smile at them, how you can just tell a story with just a pencil and a paper. Clary, since the first time I saw you, I have belonged to you completely. I still do. If you want me."

By the end of my little speech there is a light blush at Clary's cheeks and she's looking down at her hands. When she finally looks up again there are still some tears on her face that I wipe away as gently as I can.

"I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what you said earlier." She says not looking up at me.

I feel my heart sink. After spilling my guts to her I still don't have a chance with her. While there are hundreds of girls I go to school with who would kill to have me date them, the only one I truly want is inches away yet still out of my reach.

She looks up at me, "But I can still forget. It takes too much energy to hate someone, especially when you see them everyday. There's no way in hell, Jace Lightwood, that I wouldn't want you." She says, smiling a little to herself.

I look at her astonished, I don't think I've ever met a girl in my life who could forgive so easily, which I definitely didn't deserve at that moment, or who I felt I could trust more than anyone in the world. She seemed to blush even more under my elated stare so I did what any other guy would do.

I kissed her.

Clary POV

Sweet Jesus. That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me not out of pity. I could feel my tears running freely down my face as Jace said his beautiful speech to me. I looked down at my hands to keep him from seeing me crying _again_.

When he's done I look up to see his hopeful eyes looking into mine, gently wiping away the stray tears that still lingered on my face. I have no idea what to say so I just decide to say what I feel should be said.

"I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what you said earlier."

I see his face turn from hopeful to ashamed in that moment. He looked like he would do anything to get me to forgive him at that moment so before he could say anything I add…

"But I can still forget. It takes too much energy to hate someone, especially when you see them everyday. And there is no way in hell ,Jace Lightwood, that I wouldn't want you. "

He then looks up at me again staring at me with such an elated, astonished gaze I feel myself blushing a little from it.

And then he kisses me.

Not a passionate one, but a kiss so tender and loving I feel my bones turn to water with every gently stroke he gives my cheek. I feel like I might melt if I don't hold onto him for dear life so I begin to run my hands through his soft golden hair causing him to give a short moan and deepening the kiss. I don't know how long we're in this position until I just about jump out of my skin when I here the front passenger side door open and see Jon jump back too looking just as surprised as I do. Jace however, looks slightly flustered but for the most part calm and collected; he even has the nerve to put his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him.

Jon looks at us for another second before pinching the bridge of his nose. His hair is still wet most likely from taking a shower after practice.

"My sister Jace?" He asks trying hard to keep his composure.

"Jon." I say trying to keep him calm " We were just kissing."

"Just kissing?" I hear Jace say next to me " How quickly you dismiss our love."

I elbow him in ribs as hard as I can.

"Kissing!?" Jon says a little too loudly, bringing attention to some kids who were loitering around the parking lot waiting for school to start.

"Kissing?" he says, quieter this time " You two were basically making babies back there!"

This makes me blush harder. I can't even look at my brother right now from the embarrassment of being caught making out with his best friend. Right then the school bell rings signaling the first day of junior year for me. I hear Jon sigh exchanging his football bag for his school backpack.

"Come on, we'll talk about this after school." He says, catching up with some friends of his waiting by another car.

I look for my backpack to find it halfway under one of the seats and then pick it up from the ground unzipping it to stuff my cardigan into it. I reach for the door handle to see Jace one step ahead of me already outside of the car holding the door for me with his other hand outstretched. I take it gratefully still sore from this mornings' ordeal. As I get out of the car I see Simon a couple of rows over his hair still slightly wet from his after practice shower. He catches eye contact with me and begins to walk over to us. Jace seems to notice who I'm staring at and looks in Simon's direction. His glare seems to stop Simon in his tracks. When Jace puts his arm around my waist, which I don't object to, Simon's face goes from desperate to slightly shocked and jealous. Jace pulls me out of my reverie when we start walking toward the school building. I spare one last look at Simon in the parking lot his eyes trying to plead with me. I turn my head around before he can say anything to me.

As we enter the school building, there's a chorus of 'Hey's and 'Jace haven't seen you in a while man' where he either says hey back to them if it's one of his closer friends or just nods if it's someone he barely knows. When some notice his arm around my waist some girls stare with jealousy while others might give me a smile or wink or just gawk in awe. As we reach the orientation tables in the gym, we go into the line with the sign marked 'JUNIORS L – P' . I get my schedule first under Clarissa Morgenstern then Jace receives his under Jace Lightwood. We quickly compare our schedules to find we have four classes together. After exiting the chaos of the gym he insists on walking me to my first class, Science. As we reach it we both notice Simon walking into the same science class as my own. We talk for a second outside of class before he reluctantly lets me go.

"Are you sure you'll be okay? I swear, if ratface pulls anything…" he says, trailing off glaring into the back of Simon's head.

"I'll be fine, It's only first period, I think I can survive one hour of him staring at me with his pity filled eyes."

"Okay, but.."

" I'll be fine." I insist, " now run along, you don't want to be late on your first day of school." I say playfully, giving him a quick peck on the check then turning on my heel to enter science. As soon as I walk in Simon notices me, taking his backpack off of the vacant seat next to him. I choose a seat in front of him next to one of my good friends, Maia Roberts. We exchange quick hellos and strike a conversation about randomness until the second bell rings signaling the beginning of the school day. As our teacher, Mr. Park, begins telling us about he exciting world of chemistry we'll experience I can't help but think about how this is going to be a long school year.

**AN: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I wanted to move this story along a little faster, therefore CLACE HAS BEEN BORN. Once again I can't tell you how much I appreciate the support I get from you guys and the super nice/ constructive comments you give me each chapter I love you all! 3 3 3**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	4. Chapter 4: I Know You Care

**Chapter Four: I know You Care**

Clary POV

Aside from little ordeal with Simon, My first day was going pretty well. I was excited to see Jace again in History two periods later. Walking to history was an experience in itself. Being short doesn't work to your advantage at all when it comes to crowded high school hallways.

As I search the hallway for my newly assigned locker to put my math and science textbook in. I reach my locker 2 minutes into the 7minute passing period. As I put my things away the locker suddenly slams shut inches away from slamming my fingers with it.

"What the hell?" I ask the person who slammed my door to see none other than Kaelie and her little clique. Also known as the school sluts.

"I saw you this morning with _my _Jace walking through the hallway." She says snidely straight to my face.

"That's impossible." I say cooly back to her. This seems to annoy her even more.

"How?" she says in a clipped voice.

" He can't be _your _Jace. Slavery's been illegal for what? 144 years." I smartly retort back to her. Causing laughs from the crowd starting to surround us.

" Well why would he want some piece of trash like you?" she asks looking at me disgusted?

"Maybe because he could easily wipe off 90% of your face with a towel." I say with a smirk I probably picked up from Jace forming on my face.

There are 'Oooh's and 'Burn's coming from the crowd adding to Kaelie's annoyance.

She looks like she wants to run or scream but she doesn't back off. After a second of watching her think hard can't help but laugh at how hard it is for her to think of a comeback. When she notices me laughing her face turns from annoyed to infuriated. She storms over to and knocks my backpack out of my hand spilling my sketchbook, pencils, phone, and headphones out of it.

"What now, bitch?" She says with a smug look on her face, feeling proud about throwing my backpack.

"You know, I'd slap you right now." I say, still looking at all my stuff on the ground , I finally meet her smug eyes with my smug smirk " but that would be animal abuse." I finish.

There's a loud 'OHHH' that goes through the crowd making them go wild. Kaelie seems lost for a second before she lets out a short scream and storms past me bumping me in the shoulder while doing so. As the crowd starts do deplete I'm left with the mess Kaelie left me with to pick up. As I go toward my sketchbook hands already beat me too it handing me the book.

"Hey there stranger." I hear the owner of the hand say.

I smile already knowing who it is by the sound of her voice. When I look up I see my best friend Isabelle Lightwood squatting next to me to help pick up my belongings.

"It's been a while." She says making me laugh.

"Isabelle I saw you yesterday."

"It seems like years though. So much could've happened in those short hours" she says as we finish putting everything back into my backpack.

"Tell me about it." I say, quietly. Isabelle seems to notice the change in mood and looks up at me concerned.

"I'll tell you later." I say simply which she seems to understand. We're still standing there when the bell rings.

"Look at you!" I say, trying to change the subject. I've always been jealous of how easily she can look good in anything. Right now she's wearing a pair of high waisted shorts and a cut off tee. " You look amazing as always"

"Stop it." She says smiling " you know what they say, Every tall black haired girl needs a short redhead best friend." We both laugh at the comment she makes as we start to walk to history. By the time we reach the door to the room, we were slowed down by talking, we're already 25 minutes late.

Isabelle looks worried about getting in trouble. She isn't only a pretty face but incredibly smart.

"Don't worry," I say "I got you covered. Now pinch my cheeks." She looks confused for a second but goes for it.

"Ouch!" I say "Jesus woman you have a strong pinch." We both giggle quietly so we don't catch anyone's attention while we're outside the room. She knows what I'm trying to do. We've done it before to keep from getting out of a detention. I hold my breath for as long as I can until I feel slightly disoriented and dizzy from the lack of air. When you have cancer that targets the blood, you need as much oxygen as you can get.

We walk into the room together, me stumbling a little. All eyes turn in our direction as Mr. Keily walks up to us looking slightly irritated.

"Well look who decided to show up. Ms. Lightwood, Ms. Morgenstern; would you like to explain yourself to the class or would you like to save your breath and skip to me giving you you're one week detention slips?" I stumble again still slightly dizzy causing Jace to jump out of his seat.

"Sit down Mr. Lightwood." He says sternly "Or should I give these two girls double detention?" He sits down reluctantly glaring at Mr. Keily the entire time.

Isabelle leaves my side to whisper some medical nonsense she probably picked up from her dad. Mr. Keily's glances at me every now and then while she whispers to him. He then points at me to come over to our little sharing circle looking more sympathetic than angry now.

"I apologize for the embarrassment Ms. Morgenstern, you've got a lot going on in your life as I can tell, and I'd hate to make your burden even worse." He says putting his sweaty hand on my arm making it more awkward.

" It seems as though you have a great friend right there to lighten your load if you will." He says laughing at his own joke. Isabelle and I look at each other and then back at him nervously joining in on laughing.

"You girls sit down, I understand If you're late but I won't tolerate you missing my class without a note are we understood?" he says going back into teacher mode.

"Yes sir." We both say at the same time.

"Good, now sit down, you've wasted enough of my class time." He goes back to writing on the board and talking about what we'll be learning over the school year. I find a seat Jace has saved for me at a desk right next to him. Isabelle threateningly glares at the kid sitting to the other side of me who immediately moves. She takes her seat next to me and we both exchange smiles. I cast a reassuring look at Jace who takes my hand under our desks rubbing circles into the back of my hand throughout the entire class period making this my new favorite class.

English went by pretty uneventfully with Jace by my side making the period go by faster. By the time lunch came around I was more than happy for a break from so many packets and orientations. When I enter the lunchroom with Jace we both catch sight of Jonathan with some of the football team calling us over. We nod at him telling him to give us a second to get our lunches. We walk to the lunch line hand in hand, I only get a bottle of vitamin water and an apple. While Jace fills up his lunch tray with a hamburger and fries, an apple, and a bottle of water. Isabelle trails behind us talking to some of her other friends with a salad on her tray. We check out and head toward the table Jonathan is sitting at talking to one of his football friends, Jordan, who happens to be Maia's boyfriend. At the table, Jordan is sitting next to Maia while Jonathan is to the right of him next to his girlfriend Anna. I sit on the other side of the table next to with Isabelle on the end, and me sitting next to Jace. There are other people from the football team that I recognize from coming to my house. Like Meliorn, Tobias, Augustus, Will, Jem and Jullian. I can't help but notice Sebastian, another friend of Jonathan's, sitting awfully close to me at the table.

"Hey Clary, it's been a while." He says looking at me with his mesmerizing black eyes.

"Hey." I say back simply. Picking at my apple.

"Aren't you hungry?" he asks me looking at the apple I've only taken one bite out of.

"Eh. Not really." I say getting up from the table to throw away my apple.

Sebastian seems to take this as an open invitation to follow me throwing away an empty bottle of water. Jace doesn't seem to notice me walking away as he's in a heated conversation on whether Colombia or Costa Rica will have a better chance at winning the World Cup between Jon and Jordan. _Boys_.

"If it means anything, I think it was pretty cool of you to stand up for yourself against those bitches this morning." He says pinning me against a wall with one of his hands just above my head making me feel slightly uncomfortable.

"You were there?" I say blushing slightly not meeting his eyes.

"Yes. I wouldn't have missed seeing those sluts get owned in front of the school. Besides," he says his eyes smoldering me " You're pretty sexy when you're feisty."

This makes me blush even more making me feel even more uncomfortable. He puts his other hand on the on the wall next to the other side of my head locking me in. When I lock eyes with him, I can't look away. A mesmerizing pool of blackness keeps me locked on him while he talks.

"There's this party this party at my house this Friday where it's invitation only. And would personally like to invite you to it." he says, handing me a thick black envelope, being sure to let his hand linger on mine. "I'd really like to see you there, I can show you around personally." He said, whispering like I'm the only one in the crowded cafeteria.

"Aha." Is all I can make out as I'm still hypnotized in his eyes. That is, until Jace decides to _finally_ step in, hamburger still in hand.

"Hey guys," he says cautiously, his mouth full of food. He looks at Sebastian "What are we talking about?"

"Not much, just inviting Clary to the party this Friday." He says not taking his eyes off of me.

"Cool man. Well if you don't mind, I'd like to steal my girlfriend back." He says throwing away the remainder of his burger and then proceeding to take my hand to bring me back to the lunch table.

Jonathan gives me a one-eyebrow-up look and then goes back to talking to his girlfriend.

"Aren't you hungry?" I hear Jace ask me looking at the vitamin water I've barely touched.

"Not really." I say honestly.

With his dad being my doctor he knows as much as I do how important it is for me to eat. But I just can't bring myself to today. Jace seems to want to say something else but drops the subject as the bell rings signaling our next period, music. This is the only class I have all my friends, and Simon. It's hard to stay mad at someone who's been your best friend for so long, I'm not even sure if I'm the one mad or if it's Jace and Jon who are pissed at him.

As Jace and I walk out of the lunchroom Simon's right there taking my hand out of Jace's before he even knows what's happening and pulls me deeper into the crowd of kids.

"Clary." He starts, looking behind him every now and then to see where Jace is.

"You don't understand how sorry I am, please PLEASE don't be mad at me. You know better than anyone else that I would never do anything to hurt you. There is no way to describe how stupid I was acting this morning." He says pleadingly. I stop him and pull him to the side of the all the moving bodies.

"I saw you Simon. You weren't staring at me, you were staring at my scars. I've known you for 10 years, Simon. What happened in those three years you were gone?" I ask him.

"Clary I'm worried about you, I always have been and always will be. I was worried when heard from your brother that you had cancer after I moved. I was worried everyday I would FaceTime you in the hospital seeing you look so sick. I'm worried about you hanging out with that jockstrap over there." He says nodding his head in Jace's direction who's trying to get to us through the crowd of high school students.

"I care about you Clary. You have to believe me. I love you." He says looking me straight in the eyes.

"I love you too Simon." I say, easily forgiving him.

"Goddammit Clary!" He says, punching the locker right next to me scaring me a little.

"Not like that." He says desperately trying to get his words out before Jace catches up to us "I _love_ you."

"Simon, you're starting to scare me. You don't mean that." I say back just as desperate. I start to walk away from him but he catches my wrist.

"I _do_ Clary. I really do. Can't you tell there's chemistry between us?" he says trying to persuade me.

"I… I … I don't-"

"What did I say Lewis?!" Jace says, finally getting through to us, pushing him into a locker "I'm going to make myself perfectly clear. Stay. Away. From. Her."

He starts to pull me away from him. I hear him trying to talk to me but I'm still too shocked from the words that just came out of Simon. When we finally reach the music room Jace stops before we enter.

"Hey." He says, getting me to look him in the eyes "Are you okay?"

Am I? Will I ever be?

"I'm not sure." I say honestly hugging him around the waist and burrowing my face into his t shirt. "Thank you," I say finally "for earlier."

"Anytime." He says, smiling down at me.

We enter the music room just as the bell rings. The music room is one of my favorite rooms. There is a small raised stage on one side with a piano and facing the stage are some of those crappy plastic chairs every school seems to have. I sit next to Jace with Isabelle right next to me. Jonathan is in front of me sitting next to Jordan and Maia. And to my surprise Simon walks in to sit directly behind me with some other juniors and seniors filing in taking empty seats.

"Hello everyone!" the music teacher, Mr. Blackthorn, says greeting everyone "Welcome to music, I'm going to make this orientation quick. We have music theory every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Every Wednesday and Friday are free days. These days students are allowed to sing a song or play a piece, but please do not make it 'Let it Go'. It will be for extra credit that you can you if your grade slips closer to the end of the quarter. And look what day it is! Do we have any taker for our first free day?" Mr. Blackthorn looks around the class hopefully for a couple of seconds, no one raises their hand. To my surprise, and the rest of the class though,

I raise my hand.

" Oh! This is spectacular!" He says clapping his hands "Ms. Morgenstern come up and sing your heart out!" he says getting off of the stage and sitting in one of the plastic chairs in the audience.

With one last squeeze of the hand from Jace and a wink from Isabelle. I walk up slowly towards to piano and sit down.

"This is I Know You Care by Ellie Goulding." I whisper

"Speak up Clarissa, what was that?" I hear the teacher say.

I take a deep breath and speak up.

"This is 'I Know You Care' By Ellie Goulding." I say this looking straight at Simon who's already on the edge of his seat.

I close my eyes for a second letting my emotions take over me and begin to play.

Clinging to me

Like a last breath you would breathe

You were like home to me

I don't recognize the street

Please don't close your eyes

Don't know where to look without them

Outside the cars speed by

I never heard them until now

I know you care

I know it is always been there

But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it

You are just saving yourself when you hide it

Yeah, I know you care

I see it in the way you stare

As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it

I'll be saving myself from the ruin

And I know you care

I used to run down the stairs

To the door and I thought you were there

Do you shape through the comfort of us

Two lovers loved out of love

Oh, but I know you care

I know it is always been there

But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it

You are just saving yourself when you hide it

Yeah, I know you care

I see it in the way you stare

As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it

I'll be saving myself from the ruin

And know it wasn't always wrong

But I've never known a winter so cold

Now I don't warm my hands in your coat

But I still hope

'Cause this is how things ought to have been

And I know the worst of it wasn't all that it seemed

Why can't I dream

Why can't I dream

'Cause I know you care

And I know you care

I know you care

I know you care

I know it's always been there

As I play the last keys I can't help but notice tear falling onto my hands. I look down not bothering to look at everyone staring. I feel not only Jace's, but Simon's eyes boring into me especially.

It's silent for a second until someone starts to clap, there's also some people cheering for me but I barely notice from the tightness in my chest, making it unbearable to stay in the same room with Simon. Just as Mr. Blackthorn comes up to the stage, his face beaming, I run off the stage out of the room running until I feel someone grab my shoulder turning around.

"Jesus," Simon says, "you're a fast runner."

I don't want to anything at that moment but hug him. I missed him more than I did when I saw him for the first time in three years this morning. He hugs me back, squeezing me hard.

"How about we just stay friends?" He says with a slight tightness in his voice.

I nod into his shirt.

"I've missed you Lewis." I say, it sounds muffled from saying it into his shirt.

"I missed you too, Morgenstern." He says back

We stay like that in comfortable silence for a couple more minutes until he breaks it by asking,

"I just got friendzoned didn't I?"

"Yup." I say back, simply.

He doesn't say anything else, just hugs me tighter.

**AN: YAY! Forgiveness! Tell me if you guys liked me adding the song into this chapter. You guys are amazing and I can't wait to start writing the next chapter!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	5. Chapter 5: Manliness

**Chapter Five: Manliness**

"So..?" I hear Jace say right next to me.

After school Jon, Jace and I piled into Jace's car to our house. We've been sitting on my bed for the past 5 minutes while Jon paced back and forth in front Jace and I looking at us every now and then. He finally stops to face us and sighs.

"Clary do you like Jace?" He asks, both of them waiting anxiously for my answer.

I look at Jace smiling and simply say "yes."

He smiles back letting go of a breath he was holding. Like I would've answered any differently.

"Jace, you're my best friend and I'm _trusting_ you not to treat my sister like any of those other girls you've dated. If she sheds one tear over you I will not hesitate to break you in half. If you hurt her, I hurt you." He says, his voice dead serious.

"Jon, I've known you since when we were what? 8 years old? I would never let that friendship go to waste. I would never think of hurting Clary. I would hurt myself before I hurt her or let anyone else hurt her. You know that." He said, his voice just as serious making me blush and look down at our interlocked hands.

"I do." He says, looking tired "I just wanted to hear you say it." He says with a smirk on his face "Okay, well you crazy kids have fun." He says, hesitantly.

I look up at him surprised at how easily he said yes. Then I turn to see Jace the same look on his face.

"You heard me, now go, have your fun. But not too much." He adds quickly.

We're still sitting on my bed staring at him when he says,

"Seriously though, go, I'm having Anna over."

We begin to leave my room cautiously, like if we walk to fast he might change his mind.

We get into Jace's car and pull out of our house and drive down the street 45 seconds later to reach his mansion of a house. I'm usually over here to hang out with Izzy, now I'm here, going up to my _boyfriend's _room. As we reach the top of the stairs and walk down the hallway I see Izzy's bedroom door halfway open, she's there laughing and talking with Maia. I decide not to intrude on their conversation. When we reach Jace's perfectly clean room I decide to lay down on his bed, I feel Jace lay down right next to me playing with my curly hair.

"So, Where'd your parents go this week?" he asks me.

I turn on my side to face him while talking. " I don't know, I think somewhere in London to paint this mural at some place for some company, so they'll be gone for some time."

"Very descriptive." He says, making me crack a smile. We lay in a comfortable silence where just each others presence is enough to make us happy. That is, until my stomach decides to rudely interrupt our moment by making dying animal sounds.

Jace chuckles, "Hungry?" he asks.

I shake my head. I'm not, but I know I haven't eaten anything all day.

" Well too bad." He says, picking me up bridal style and running down the stairs with me laughing the whole way down. My bruise from this morning had gotten a lot better making it more bearable each time I bounced in his arms.

When we reach the kitchen, I smell the delicious scent of spaghetti and meatballs being made by none other than Mrs. Lightwood, Jace's adoptive mother. I feel my stomach growl again. Maybe I could try to eat a _little_.

Jace puts me down to search through the fridge and comes out with a mango and a can of tomato soup. He sets it on the kitchen counter and grabs a can opener. As he attempts to open the can Jace's mom attacks his hand with a wooden spoon causing him to drop the opener.

"No snacking, dinner's ready." She says to him with a scowl on her face. She looks toward me and her face turns into a smile.

"Hey Clary! How are you feeling." She asks, a little bit of sympathy in her voice.

"Umm. Fine I guess." I say, turning shy. I've never felt comfortable talking about my sickness and it's no exception to someone as nice as Mrs. Lightwood.

" Well I hope you're hungry. Because dinner's ready." She says. "ISABELLE, MAIA, DINNERS READY." She yells upstairs while setting a bowl of spaghetti and a bowl of salad on the table."

I hear footsteps running down the stairs and then Izzy and Maia are standing at the threshold to the dinning room having a conversation most likely about some guy at school. Maia is first to notice me sitting next to Jace at the table. She raises an eyebrow at me as if asking if we're official and I give a slight nod. Her face lights up with excitement and runs to hug me. Izzy finally notices Maia's distraction and comes up to hug me also.

"Hey there! Why didn't you tell me you were coming over?" She asks

"I didn't want to bother you guys." I tell her, shrugging.

"Really?! We have so much to catch you up on now. Jace," She says to him, spaghetti half hanging out of his mouth "I'm stealing your girlfriend after dinner."

I blush and smile to myself when I hear the word girlfriend come out of her mouth. Izzy doesn't wait for an answer before sitting down across from Jace and I with Maia next to her. They both fix a plate of food for themselves and we spend the next 45 minutes talking and laughing. To my surprise, I even eat a little of the delicious spaghetti noticeably making Jace relax a little bit.

"Okay, time to go up to my room, you can have her back later Jace." She says starting to pull me out of the dining room.

"What am I supposed to do?" He asks

"I don't know, do some manly stuff. Wrestle a bear, cut down a tree, workout, anything. But she's mine for the next couple of hours."

"Fine. If you'll excuse me I have a bear to go wrestle." He says grabbing his car keys and jacket and walking through the door.

"You're going to Alec's house aren't you?" Isabelle asks

"Yep." He says, walking back to give me a quick peck on the lips and then walking past us out the door.

* * *

"Okay what do we do now?" Maia asks

After 4 ½ hours of gossiping we've finally run out of things to gossip about.

"Isn't tomorrow Sebastian's party." I ask laying on my stomach on Izzy's bed. Maia is right next to me playing with my hair.

"Yeah I think. Are you guys going?" Maia asks

"I'm not sure." Izzy says. "That guy's such a creep but he can throw one hell of a party. What about you?"

"Probably if Jordan wants to go. What about you Clary?" She asks me

"I guess if Jace goes." I say.

Maia and Izzy both look at each other sneakily and then look at me.

"What?" I say suddenly self conscious.

" I feel a sleepover coming on! Come here after school tomorrow and tell Jon you're sleeping over tonight because we're going shopping and we're going to look hot tomorrow night."

" Really Iz? It's 9 o'clock on a school night I don't think any mall would be open right now, even if we did try to make it before closing, we wouldn't make it in this New York traffic." Maia says to her.

She thinks about his looking frustrated for a second and then leaves the room coming back with her laptop and Jace's.

"Well that doesn't stop us from shopping online. If we're lucky, we can get our outfits by tomorrow before school even ends!" She seems proud of her idea and looks at us both smiling from ear to ear.

"Well let's get to it." I say logging on to Jace's computer

* * *

After 2 hours of shopping, contemplating and, finally, ordering, we each find a dress.

Isabelle decides on a dark red skin- tight dress that is simple enough but sure to look amazing on her. Maia chose a flowy sparkly gold dress with a halter top that will also go amazing with her dark skin. I chose a black silk dress with lace over the smooth material. Isabelle helped me pick it out with its tight fitting, strapless top and flowy above knee length skirt.

We're going to look hot.

After we place our orders we decide to get into our pajamas. I, of course, borrow a pair of Izzys, which consists of a pair of gray workout shorts and a tank top. I let my curly hair out of my now messy fishtail and walk downstairs with Maia and Izzy to watch a movie in their home theater. Did I mention their house was huge?

As we pass the kitchen toward the theater I see Jace and Jordan talking while throwing a football across the kitchen counter. As Maia passes the counter I see her face light up, obviously excited to see her boyfriend here. She runs over to him, throwing herself into his arms, he seems equally as excited to see her.

I go over to Jace to give him a hug, he spins me around in his arms a couple of times smiling down at me.

"How was that bear?" I ask him.

"He didn't even see it coming." He replies jokingly making me giggle a little.

"If you lovebirds are finished out here." Isabelle says loud enough to interrupt both of our conversations "We have a movie to-"

Right then the doorbell rings, cutting into Izzy's sentence. Her face breaks into a huge smile as if she knows who's at the door.

"And that," she says, walking to the door "Would be _my _date for tonight."

We all follow her to the door curious to see who it is. However I don't think anyone was expecting to see Simon on the other side of the door. Everybody on Jace's team know what happened this morning, news spreads fast with them. I guess Izzy didn't get the memo. I wasn't mad at Simon anymore but that didn't stop Jordan or Jace from still being pissed.

"Really Izzy?!" Jace finally says out loud, breaking the silence. "Out of all the guys in the school you choose this ratface?"

"Chill out Jace." She says clearly annoyed " You've only known him since Music class how can you hate him so much already?"

"You really don't know, do you?" Jace asks her

"Know what?" She asks impatiently.

" Should I explain it or would you like your new boyfriend to fess up?" He asks, spitting out the word 'boyfriend'.

Simon doesn't say anything, just stares at Jace with a mix of surprise and anger. Isabelle keeps looking at Jace and then back at Simon as if waiting for an explanation.

"Simon and Clary were driving to school this morning when they almost got into an accident." Jace says finally

"Well it can't be that bad, I mean neither of you are hurt are you?" When she says that she looks expectantly at me for more of an explanation.

I don't say anything. Torn between the best friend I just made up with and the friends who would always stand up for me. I feel tears starting to spring in my eyes out of frustration for having them to make me choose.

" Lets just drop it." I say, looking at the ground.

I feel their eyes boring into me; Jace's shocked stare similar to Simon's. Jordan and Maia's concerned glances. And Isabelle's indifferent stare clearly confused at what's going on.

"Yeah." Jordan says cutting the tension with his voice "Don't we have a movie to watch?"

I look up gratefully at Jordan who returns it with a smile and a wink.

" I vote Ferris Beuler's Day Off." Maia says

" What about 21 Jump Street?" Izzy says, distracted from what just happened.

"Yeah! Lets watch that." Maia says excited

Izzy, Maia, and Jordan walk to the home theater leaving Simon, Jace and I. Simon begins to walk after Isabelle, but not until Jace slams him into the wall like he did earlier at school but probably harder this time.

" Jace," I say, finally intervening "It's okay, I'm not mad."

This surprises Jace again, but begrudgingly, and roughly, lets go of Simon and walking to the home theater with me.

We sit down together on an oversized beanbag. Jace looks like he wants to say something but I stop him.

"Don't, it really isn't worth the energy."

He huffs but begins to rub circles in my back.

"Aren't you tired?" He whispers as the advertisements play on the screen in front of us.

"Exhausted." I say truthfully, laying my head on his chest.

"Sleep." He whispers softly in my ear.

I don't object, I feel my eyes drooping lower with every circle he makes on my back. As my eyes close and I slip out of consciousness I can't help but feel a slight pain in the back of my head bringing me back to my dark days three years ago.

**AN: This chapter felt really short for some reason. ANYHOO, please comment how you like this story I can't get better without you opinions on how the story should go. You guys are amazing and I love you all!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	6. Chapter 6: The 'Calm' Before the Storm

**Chapter Six: The 'Calm' Before the Storm**

I wake up to the sound of running water. Still tired from the day before I barely open my eyes to see it's still pretty dark outside. I open my eyes fully now taking in my surroundings. I'm in Jace's room, in his bed. The water is probably coming from Jace taking a shower in the bathroom connected to his room. I lay back down taking a couple more precious seconds to sleep until the shower turns off. Jace comes out with his still damp hair hair sticking to his face and a pair of dark wash jeans. He walks over to his closet to get a shirt when he sees me practically gawking.

"Like what you see?" He says, smirking at me.

"eh." I say back looking uninterested.

"Just 'eh'?," He says walking over to the bed and lying on top of me. He props himself on his elbows so he's hovering over me. "Most girls would die to have all of _this._"

"Well I wouldn't want to inflate your ego even more." I say back

"So you _do _think I'm hot." He says smiling down at me.

"I never said that." I protest

"But you were insinuating it." He says back, not accepting to be wrong.

"Sure, Whatever helps you sleep at night." I say

"Good, we both agree then."

I roll my eyes and smile back at him. Jace decides to go in for a kiss at the moment. I, however, slip from under him right as our lips are centimeters apart leaving him a daze.

"I guess I better get ready." I say teasingly, walking out of his room with Jace still on his bed…shirtless, might I add.

"I'll get you back for that." He says as I walk out, proud of what I do to him.

* * *

Needing clothes I decide to wake up Isabelle. What other way to wake up your best friend than jumping on top of her. As soon as I collide with a sound asleep Izzy she immediately wakes up with a soft 'oof'. After the initial scare, she glares at me through tired eyes.

"What the hell Clary? It's like 4 in the morning." She says annoyed, starting to go back to sleep.

"Izzy I need clothes." I say

Her eyes immediately shoot open looking at me like I'm her personal life-size Barbie doll.

"Why didn't you just say so?!" she says, no longer tired.

She runs into her walk in closet and comes out with a pile of clothes.

"Ready?" she asks smiling from ear to ear.

* * *

After an hour and a half of talking, laughing, and getting ready we're both done and looking quite amazing.

Izzy looked beautiful as usual wearing a black skater skirt and a tribal patterned skintight shirt that shows her stomach if she raises her arms.

I'm wearing a pair of high waisted shorts making my short legs look even longer. I have on a short, skintight black bustier with a grey cardigan. The black beanie I'm wearing helps to tame my wild curls while also making me feel a little badass. Isabelle put on a shimmery silver eye shadow making my green eyes sparkle. I look at Izzy and smile.

"Izzy you're a miracle worker!"

"Stop, it doesn't take much at all to make you look amazing." She says, clearly proud of her work.

At that moment Jace knocks on Izzy's door.

"Clary, Izzy are you guys ready?" He asks through the door.

"Yeah, one second." Izzy replies grabbing her backpack and homework from her desk and we walk out.

"Hurry up I have practice in like 20 minutes were going to b-"

Jace stops talking right as he sees me walk out the door. I notice his eyes get wider as he soaks in the sight of me and what I'm wearing.

"Is it too much?" I ask a little self-conscious.

"You look amazing." He says coming towards me to give me a deep kiss on the lips making my knees weak.

"EW!" Isabelle says, shielding her eyes " No PDA in the hallway!"

I blush a little, Jace though, just smiles down at me like Izzy had never said anything.

"Come on, you're going to be late." This seems to break him out of his reverie when I say it. He looks at his watch. It's 5:15 and football practice starts at 5:30 until 7:15, school doesn't start until 7:40.

"Oh! Yeah! Come on guys." He says walking down the stairs toward the front door.

"Ooo! I have to get my English homework one sec." Izzy says walking back into her room. "I have to print it off, you know what Jace, just go without us, I'll just drive us to school."

Jace seems disappointed that I'm not driving with him but he knows he can't be late.

"Fine, I'll see you guys at school." He walks outside after that.

While Izzy goes to print off the homework, I lounge on her bed waiting. When I look up at myself in full size mirror, I gasp loudly. Too loud because Izzy runs in.

"Clary? Oh, shit." When she sees my face she knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Crimson red blood is pouring out of my nose and onto my hand to prevent it from getting it on Izzy's bed or carpet.

"Come on Clary." She says gently taking my arm and bringing me to her bathroom littered with makeup, towels, and hair products… the usual. I put my head over the sink right as the blood starts to spill over my fingers.

Izzy gets busy taking a towel and wetting it with water. She hands it to me which I gladly accept plugging my nose with it. As the nosebleed stops we sit on the bathroom floor together in silence. We both know what this means, I mean she _is_ my doctor's daughter.

"Is the first time this has happened?" She asks, totally serious.

I just nod, knowing that if I talk I might burst into tears.

"It could just be a false alarm, I mean, you don't show any other symptoms." She says full of hope.

I can feel us both holding on to that hope when I look her in the eyes, I almost believe her. I think she believes it so why shouldn't I?

"Thank god you're makeup isn't that ruined!" she says full of enthusiasm, clearly trying to distract me. Izzy stands up to get some stuff from her messy counter and begins to touch up my makeup quickly.

"Hey," She says, getting me out of my muddled thoughts "You're gonna be fine." Her face is full of so much hope and love I can't help but return her smile.

"There." She says finishing "That wasn't so hard."

"Izzy what if-"

"Stop." She says forcefully, and a little angry "We're not going to think about that, okay?" she says the last part a little bit softer

"okay."

" Besides, we need to be pumped for tonight." She says happily.

I smile a little at this, I had totally forgotten that the party was tonight. _I can survive until then_ I say to myself.

"Yeah." I say trying to sound excited, but there's a familiar weight on my shoulders.

"Come on," she says, pulling me up with her "seeing your boyfriend might cheer you up. Oh yeah can I ask you for a favor?"

"Of course Iz." I say

"Can I copy your math homework I forgot to do mine?"

"Yeah, sure. I don't care." I say back

"Really? Clary you are seriously the bestest best friend ever!" she says, still probably trying to cheer me up.

I'm not sure if I'm even sad though. I'm not scared _if_ it has come back. I just don't want to hurt Izzy or Jon or Jace or anyone else I love. And being quiet to Izzy is probably hurting her more which I definitely do not want to do. So I better cheer up fast.

When we get into her car the song 'Holy Grail' is on which I turn up louder and attempt to rap with Jay Z causing Izzy to burst out into laughter and join in on the singing causing us to forget about the events of this morning, the music drowning out all of our worries.

As we reach our school we're laughing so hard after attempting to sing along to 'Fancy'. We park the car and head off to the field to watch the rest of the football practice. When we sit on the bleachers the guys are having a water break. Sebastian is the first to notice our presence. Izzy's too busy copying my homework to notice him approaching.

"Hey Clary." He says giving me hug where his hand goes a little too low.

"Hey Seb." I say simply, not really wanting to talk to him

"So are you coming to the party tonight?" He says, looking me up and down at my bare legs and then lazily wandering up. I cross my arms bringing his attention back to my face.

"Yes I am, I've heard you can throw a hell of a party." I say back

"So I'm told." He says sounding pretty proud to hear. " I'd be happy to give you a personal tour around my house tonight." He gives me a wink.

I guess more guys notice our presence as I hear wolf whistles being directed toward me from some other guys on the football team. I look down from the bleachers to see some of the team members staring at me and whispering to each other. Jon finally looks up when Jordan hits him in the ribs with his elbow.

When he sees me I swear his eyes grow 10 times their normal size. He begins to run past the field toward the bleachers. Jace notices me soon after and starts running after my brother, slapping a kid in the back of the head for giving another wolf whistle.

"Clary what the hell are you wearing?" He asks, looking pretty irritated

"It's called fashion." Izzy decides to _finally_ chime in.

"I call it cheap." Jon says back to Izzy, causing her to gasp and give him a loathing look since they are _her_ clothes.

"I call it sexy." Sebastian says, causing all four of us to glare at him. Jace takes it a step further and pushes him, causing him to trip and fall a couple of levels down the bleachers.

"Here." Jon says taking off his football shirt and handing it to me.

"Ew, I'm not wearing you sweaty shirt."

"Well you're sure as hell not wearing that to school." He says back.

"I think it's nice." Jace says, giving me a smile "Jon, she's fine, I mean look at Kaelie and Seelie."

My brother thinks over this for a second and then sighs giving into Jace's reasoning.

"Fine, but next time you wear… _this._" He says pointing at my outfit " I will buy a pair of short shorts and go to all of your classes wearing them."

"Oh god the images." Jace says behind him shaking his head.

" Blackmail huh?" I say back playfully. He gives me a half smile taking his shirt from the two finger I was holding it by and runs back onto the field.

"The nerve!" Izzy says still glaring at my brother

"What else would you expect from him in overprotective brother mode?" Jace replies back to her.

She doesn't have an answer for that, she just sits back down on the bleachers examining her nails with a look of anger still on her face.

" How's practice going?" I ask him, not wanting him to leave

" The usual, A bunch of sweaty guys throwing around a ball and tackling each other."

" Sounds like fun."

" a boatload." He says with a slight sarcasm in his voice.

"LIGHTWOOD GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!" We both flinch when we hear Coach Carstairs scream that across the field.

"That's my cue." He says, bending down to give me a kiss on the lips but turns to run down the bleachers before our lips meet.

"Asshat." I mutter. He hears me and chuckles

"I told you I'd get you back." He says halfway the bleachers down, smirking.

I turn around to sit next to Isabelle, she lays her head on my shoulder and I lay mine on top of her head.

" My clothes aren't cheap." She says half to herself.

" Yes they are actually." I say honestly, her head shoots up her face is a mmix of hurt and anger "But the way you wear them makes them look like something a model would wear because anything looks absolutely gorgeous on you." I finish

She looks at me with blue eyes so full of happiness and awe I feel my cheeks heat up. Then she hugs me, a very un-Isabelle thing to do.

"This is why you're my best friend." She says when she lets go of me.

"Why?" I ask.

"You always know the right thing to say. There are so many reasons but that's one of my favorite."

"Hey, every tall black haired girl needs a short red head best friend." I say and we both smile at this.

Izzy lays her head back on my shoulder and we resume our initial position.

"Are you excited for tonight?" She asks me, breaking our comfortable silence.

"It should be interesting." I say back with the most honest response I could think of.

**AN: I finally know where I'm thinking of taking this story and let me tell you it's about to get INTERESTING. Comment how you guys feel about creeper Sebastian if I should bring it up a notch next chapter or tone it down or whatever! Also, tell me what you guys thought about this chapter I love to hear what you guys think! You're all amazing! **

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**

**P.S. **

**If you like this story check out 'Move Along' by **** (a.k.a my bestie3) it's pretty amazing.!**

**Love ya'll and I'll try to get out he next chapter soon! It's probably going to be the longest one yet!**

**That was a long authors note…**


	7. Chapter 7: Twister

**Chapter Seven: Twister**

As Jace and his other team members go to the locker room to freshen up after practice, Izzy and I are still on the bleachers on our backs looking at the sky. As I sit up a wave of dizziness almost send me back to the ground, I try to hide it as best I can so Izzy won't worry anymore. Izzy sits up too, not seeming to notice what just happened.

"Let's mingle." I hear Izzy say

" I think I'm fine up hear." I reply, seeing Jordan come out of the locker room with some freshmen I don't recognize

"Oh come on." She says, pulling me up with her, causing another wave of dizziness.

I follow Iz down the stairs holding onto the railing the entire time down. When I get to the last step, thinking I made it, I don't expect to trip on the edge of the stair causing me to trip and fall on my face.

This time though, I can't get up.

I here Izzy saying my name while hovering over me. I feel my eyes close and when they open again, Izzy looks close to tears and Jordan is also hovering over me. The dizziness is gone but I can't find the energy to get up.

"Iz, I'm fine. I just tripped." I say trying to reassure her.

"Clary," she says sounding relieved "You scared the hell out of me."

She scoops me up to hug me but I gasp at the sudden movement causing the dizziness to return. She lets go of me immediately.

"Oh god Clary are you okay? I'm so sorry I didn't mean t-"

"Iz I'm fine," I say gently "Hey Jordan." I say trying to lighten the mood.

"Hey Clare. You okay there?" He asks concerned, but friendly.

"Just dandy." I say causing him to crack a smile "Help me up?" I ask him holding my arm out.

He pulls me up as gently as he can but as soon as he lets go wave of dizziness comes crashing at me that would of caused me to fall back down if it weren't for Jordan catching me.

"Whoa, easy there." He says picking me up bridal style "Izzy, go get some water from the locker room."

She looks hesitant for a second, not wanting to leave my side but eventually she runs toward the guys locker room.

" Jordan I'm fine." I say trying to let me down, but a fit of coughing takes over making it hard to breathe between each cough.

"Yeah… totally fine." He says sarcastically. He sits down and puts me down next to him, I find myself leaning heavily on him.

When Izzy returns from the locker room I see Jace coming with her looking anxious.

Izzy hands me the bottle of water and I start to take small sips of the water.

" Hey." Jace says coming to sit next to me; he nods at Jordan as if saying thanks. Jordan stands up to go talk with some kids from the football team; one of them is Simon who keeps glancing our way.

"Are you okay?" He asks in all seriousness.

I nod looking down at my hands. We're quiet for a second until I lean into his shoulder and say,

"I had a nosebleed this morning."

**Jace POV**

I feel myself go ridged when I hear her say the words I never wanted her to say.

"What?" I ask, feeling a little hurt and some anger for not telling me earlier.

When I look at her, her head is buried in my chest so she just nods.

"Clary why didn't you tell me earlier?" I ask her a little too sharply, I realize, when I see her flinch.

"You were practicing, and I didn't want you to worry." Her voice is muffled from talking into my shirt.

"Clary." I say gently lifting her face so she meets my eyes. There are tears in her eyes and a couple of stray tears falling onto her cheeks. I wipe them away with my thumb. "I'll always worry about you, no matter what's going on. Sorry to break it to you, but I'm yours and I'm not leaving anytime soon."

She gives me a small smile making my mood ten times better.

"Why am I such a mess?" She asks to no particular person.

I don't say anything; I just hug her closer and kiss her on her head.

I love this girl.

Wait… what?

**Clary POV**

After this mornings craziness the rest of the day went by pretty fast. There were a couple of close calls of Jace almost beating up some guys for touching my butt… it didn't end well.

It's finally the end of the day now and you can see the excitement radiating off of Izzy when I met her in the parking lot. Maia was already in Izzy's car, probably texting Jordan.

"Are you sure you don't want to drive home with me?" Jace asks

" You know Izzy wouldn't allow that. It's only 15 minutes to your house." I reply

"Well 15 minutes without you is 15 minutes wasted." He says, making my heart melt.

I give him a kiss on the lips. " Since when did you become so mushy?" I ask him

"Look what you're doing to me." He says, giving me a kiss on the forehead "I'll see you soon."

I turn after that and walk over to Izzy's car, all of us excited for an amazing night ahead of us.

* * *

As we walk into the house; Jace, Jon, Jordan and Simon are already there sitting in the living room watching football… _typical guys_.

Maia runs over to Jordan and hops onto his lap giving him a kiss on the lips he happily accepts. I go over to Jace, straddling my legs around his waist and kiss him. I could tell he didn't expect this but he happily goes along with it snaking his arms around my waist. When we break the kiss he gives me a smile and mouths the word 'Wow' causing me to giggle a little.

I look around to see Simon and Izzy snuggling together on the floor and Maia and Jordan talking on another couch. Jon is sitting watching the game, I feel bad his girlfriend couldn't come because she's sick. I snuggle further into Jace's lap as we watch the game together. As soon as we're both comfortable though, Izzy shoots up like a bullet surprising Simon.

"Hey Jace, did a box happen to come?"

"Yeah it's by your bedroom door, I picked it up on the way inside." He says, half distracted by the football game on television.

"Yay! Thanks bro!" She says jumping up and down. "Clary, Maia, lets get ready." She calls to us

"Iz, it's 3:45, the party doesn't start until 9, we have some time." Maia says looking comfortable next to Jordan.

"Fine." Izzy mumbles, looking a little deflated. A sly smirk suddenly grows on her face, as she runs out of the room. When she comes running through again she's holding four large bowls, a wooden spoon, four bottles of paint (red, green, yellow, and blue) and.. .Shaving cream?

Ten minutes later she come back from their backyard.

"Okay everyone in a swimsuit." She says assertively, no one questions. We all start to walk up the stairs, Maia and I to Izzy's room and Jace, Jordan, Simon and Jon to Jace's room.

"Hurry up!" She yells from downstairs.

* * *

After all of us getting suited up we meet Izzy outside. I find Jace by the stairs waiting for me and he looks… wow. He's wearing a pair of black swim trunks, which only makes his golden skin look even more beautiful, and his six pack even more prominent. I have on a white bikini on with some swirly purple design on them; it was smallest swimsuit Izzy had.

"Hey there, sexy." He says after a second. I blush a little and grab his hand as we walk to the backyard, we're the last to people out there.

When I catch sight of Simon I see him looking guiltily at the light purple bruise on my right hip. Jace pulls me closer to him as he sees Simon staring.

"Okay." Izzy says, practically jumping with excitement "The name of the game is Messy Twister. The first four people to get to the game board from where you're all standing are who'll play that round. The other two can do anything to distract the players and make them fall down."

As she says the name I understand the layout of the lawn, It's practically a Twister board on the lawn. The spots are made with different colors of the paint she had mixed with the shaving cream.

"I'll say the directions for the first round." Izzy says.

We all have skeptical looks on our face but no one objects. If it passes the time why not?

"Okay ready?" she asks

We all get into our running position ready to sprint.

"Right foot red!" she yells

We all sprint toward the board to get to the red spots first. I make it to one of them as well as Jordan, Simon, and Maia. Jace and Jon had gotten caught up in pushing each other and ended up slipping causing all of us to laugh.

10 minutes later the game is in a lock with all of us on top of each other in different awkward positions with our bodies covered in the colored shaving creams. Jace and Jon resorted to pelting us with water guns to try and get us to slip, which ended up getting Jordan to trip.

"Left foot yellow." Izzy says laughing at us looking like a human pretzel.

As I go to move my foot I see Jon beginning to squirt his water gun in my _face_ me which successfully gets me to trip and fall on top of Simon which softens my landing. We're both just a mess of Shaving cream, paint and water. When I turn around to look at Simon he looks worried for a second to make sure I'm okay,_ typical Simon_. I start to laugh though at the multicolored shaving cream beard on his face. He takes some shaving cream from the ground and lightly smacks it on my face making both of us laugh harder. Jace is there after a second, looking a little irritated at Simon, He lifts me up by my waist twirling me around. He sets he down and gives me a kiss on the lips. I laugh when I see red tinted shaving cream on his lips.

"I win!" Maia says triumphantly.

"I call treason!" I say, "My own brother sabotaged me!"

This makes everyone laugh, especially when Jon decides to squirt me in the face again!

_Oh, it's on_. I think to myself.

I make Jace let go of me and I take a water gun lying on the gun and start to squirt my brother back. His keeps going backwards, towards the pool. Perfect.

When he gets to the edge of the pool I run at him with all my might to push him into the pool. At the last second, though, he grabs me in a bear hug and jumps into the pool with me. We're under water for a second before he resurfaces with me still in his grasp. He's laughing hard at my surprised face, that is, until I splash him in the face with water.

Everybody else jumps into the pool after that cleaning them selves of the shaving cream and paint on their body. Everyone is laughing and having a good time when suddenly I feel myself being lifted out of the pool onto someone's shoulders. I look down to see Simon holding me up. He looks up at me smiling. Maia and Jordan are doing the same thing with Maia on Jordan's shoulders. I wasn't really expecting it when Maia gives me a light shove trying to get to fall. I immediately catch on and we start to attempt make each other fall. Simon and Jordan are splashing at each other below.

I'm caught off guard for a second when Jordan decides to splash _me_ in the face. Maia takes the opportunity to shove me off of Simon's shoulders. What she didn't expect was for me to grab her arm at the last minute taking her with me when we fall into the pool. Their talking is muffled for a minute while Maia and I are underwater; we both come back up to the surface laughing.

" You know I would _pay_ to see that." Jace says an amused tone.

This comment causes both Jon and Izzy to dunk Jace's head underwater.

* * *

After another hour and a half of having a good time laughing, talking, and playing around; it's time to start getting ready for the party.

" Let's see, it's six o'clock which means us girls need to start getting ready." She says, getting up from beside Simon. " Say bye to your boyfriends for the next three hours!"

I start to sit up from where Jace and I are laying in the grass but he pulls me back on top of him.

"Jaaaace!" I whine.

"Claaary!" he says copying my voice.

"I need to go get ready."

"For three hours?" he asks

" With Izzy?"

"Yeah." We both say at the same time. I give him a peck on the lips and he lets me go.

"I'll see you soon." I say smiling.

"See you soon." He says back, as I turn around and walk back to the house with Izzy and Maia.

* * *

Immediately when we get to her room we crack open the box waiting by her door to see the dresses we had ordered. In my opinion, they all look better than I thought they did on the computer screen! Maia goes to shower first while Izzy and I get to work painting our nails.

**3 Hours Later…**

We're finally ready. And we look amazing.

I look in the mirror after Izzy finishes doing my makeup. I never knew I could look as good as I do now. My black dress hugs my body perfectly giving me curves I didn't know I had. The bottom flares out perfectly at my waist to just above my knee. My hair Izzy managed to get into perfect ringlets that gently fall onto my shoulders and back. The gray eye shadow and black eyeliner make my eyes pop; especially with the soft pink lip gloss on my lips.

"Wow. Izzy, I can't explain how good you are. Thank you!" I says going to hug her.

"Aww. Anything for my besties." She says, happy that we like what she did to us.

They both look just as good as I do, if not better. Izzy's tight dress hugs all of her curves perfectly and her shiny, black hair makes her look that much more beautiful. Maia's gold dress complements her skin tone perfectly. Her brown eyes are just ravishing with the gold eye shadow she's wearing.

" Ready to show the guys?" She asks us. Maia and I both nod enthusiastically.

Right then we hear Jace yell from downstairs.

"Are you guys ready? We have to leave in like five!"

"Coming." Izzy yells back.

When we walk out there the guys are silent. As we walk in they're just staring at us making me feel slightly uncomfortable. As we reach the bottom there are still no words spoken. I look at Jace who's looking pretty good in a pair of dark wash jeans and a black button down shirt. He's looking back at me with his eyes wide.

"So…?" Izzy finally says

"Wow." All of them say at the same time, a similar look of awe on all of their faces.

I walk up to Jace burying my face in his shirt to hide from the stares.

" You look beautiful Clary." He says into my hair.

"You clean up pretty good yourself." I say, looking up at him.

" Are we all ready?" Jon asks

There are a chorus of yes's. I decide to ride with Jace in his car with Maia and Jordan. Jon, Izzy, and Simon take Izzy's car. There is excitement radiating off of all of us as we go into each car and drive off.

This is going to be a fun night.

* * *

**AN: Tell me what you think about this chapter! The party is next featuring creeper Sebastian!**

** ALSO I'm thinking about doing a collaborative TMI story. If anyone's interested Comment or PM me and if there is enough interest I'll tell how to audition in the next chapter. If not then I might try again in later chapters or not at all. I love all of my readers so much!**

** R & R**

** XOXO**

** Erin**


	8. Chapter 8: Blame It On the Alcohol

**Chapter Eight: Blame It On the Alcohol**

As we reach Sebastian's house the party is already in full swing from the music I hear blaring. We park our cars on a not as busy street and walk the couple of seconds down the street to the party. As we get to the front door I feel Jace snake his arm around my waist. I knock on the door and wait a second. Someone comes to the door and opens it a crack.

"Name?" the male voice asks.

"Um...Clary. Clary Morgenstern." I say hesitantly.

He closes the door for a second and then Sebastian is there smiling creepily down at me. He looks up for a second to greet everyone else.

"Hey guys, welcome! Have fun the house is yours tonight. As for you." He says looking back down at me.

I feel Jace tighten his grip on my waist.

"Come with me." He says, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of Jace's grasp.

"Hey." Jace says grabbing my other hands making me look like a human tug of rope. "If you'd don't mind I'd like to spend some time with my girlfriend." He says a little annoyed at Sebastian.

There's tense moment where Sebastian and Jace just stare at each other. Sebastian finally lets go of me, looking like he's trying to control his anger.

"How rude of me." He says "Enjoy the party."

Jace doesn't say anything, just walks past him with his arm around my waist. As we enter his house I notice just how big Sebastian's house. It's huge; but maybe not as big as Jace's house. The bottom floor looks like it's dedicated to dancing with strobe lights and a dj with a huge space for dancing. There must be more than 200 people dancing on the first floor alone!

Jace takes my hand and pushes through the crowd until we find a big enough spot to dance. The dj is playing this more upbeat version of 'All of Me' which is pretty amazing. Jace is singing along to it looking ridiculous which makes me laugh. It's so loud in there anything I say is pretty much drowned out unless I yell. We dance to a couple more songs until he yells through the music.

"Want to go get something to drink?"

I just nod. We walk through the crowd of dancing bodies until we get to the kitchen. It's filled with all types of alcohol; beer, liquor, tequila, wine coolers, and other drinks I don't even recognize. This brings to question how he was able to purchase all of this at 17 years old. Jace goes to get a beer while I look through a smaller cooler for a bottle of water.

We walk out of the kitchen back into the chaos, weaving in and out of couples making out or practically having sex on the dance floor. We finally find a couch on the outside of all the chaos. We both sit down resting our feet from all of the dancing. I look around to see Jon having a good time himself dancing with a couple of girls from the cheer squad. Izzy and Simon are dancing, or at least Izzy is, I have no idea what Simon's doing.

"Having fun?" Jace asks me.

"Yeah." I say, probably a little too enthusiastically.

We're quiet for a little while just enjoying each other's presence; every now and then we would make a comment about someone on the dance floor. After a couple of minutes we both notice Izzy and Maia coming toward us.

"Why aren't you guys dancing?" Izzy says over the music

" We got tir-"

"Never mind," she says, interrupting my sentence " Come to the kitchen with us, there's a beer pong tournament!"

Maia takes my arm and Izzy takes Jace's practically dragging us to the kitchen. When we walk in I notice Jordan playing another guy at a table looking focused, he looked slightly drunk based on the two beer cans next to him, but not to the point where his words were slurring.

"Hey Jace!" He says to him as he throws the ping pong ball throwing it perfectly into the farthest cup, winning him the game (**AN: I don't know how to play beer pong, I'm just a teenager, so…)**. There are cheers coming from the crowd around him.

Jordan looks at Jace with an eyebrow raised "Think you can beat the master?" He asks

"I don't think, I know." Jace says walking over to the other side of the table, getting another beer from the table.

As we're watching the game unfold I feel an arm fall across my shoulders. I look up to see Sebastian right next to me.

"Enjoying the party?" He asks me with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah, it's been fun." I say honestly

" Did you want something to drink?" He asks me.

Should I trust him? I mean it's not like he's ever hurt me or anything. Besides, he's my brothers' friend.

"Yeah, sure." I say kindly, he walks away for a second across the kitchen to get me something. When he comes back he has a red solo cup filled with a murky brown, bubbly, brown liquid.

"What is it?" I ask him

"Guess." He says, smirking. I look at him questionably, both my eyebrows raised then back at the drink in my hands.

"Come on, you know I wouldn't drug it." He says. I shrug at this and decide to take a big gulp of the liquid… I know, not my best decision.

"So…" He asks, waiting for a response.

I cringe at the taste at first, it tastes like stale bubbles and then something sweet but sour… lemons?

"It's pretty good. " I say, taking another drink which makes him smile. "What is it?"

"Not much, just beer and lemon juice."

"hmm." I say.

Izzy and Maia come over to us casting a curious look toward Sebastian and then to me. Izzy takes my drink out of my head and smiles.

"Yum!" she says smiling " I want one!" I can tell she's a little tipsy by how much excitement she says this statement with.

Sebastian walks back to make another one of his drinks and gives it to Izzy, this time though, he has a drink of his own in his hand.

I take another large gulp of my drink loving the taste of it. When I go for another drink I find that it's empty. As I turn around to throw it away I trip on my feet causing me to fall into Sebastian who catches me before I can slam into the ground. At the moment I find this really funny causing a burst of giggles to erupt from me.

This causes Jace to glance over at us, he does a double take when he sees Seb's arm around me, when Jace give Sebastian a glare he lets go of me slowly.

"Want another drink?" He asks me.

I smile and nod at him. He goes back to the kitchen to get another drink I see Jace coming toward Izzy, Maia, and I.

"Hey, Clary." He says, giving me a kiss on the lips.

"Hey there. Did you win?" I ask.

"Nope!" Jordan chimes in, sounding proud… and a little more drunk. "Nobody can beat the champion!"

Jace rolls his eyes at him "you got lucky." He says, playfully giving him a shove. Jordan decides to get Jace into a headlock giving him a noogie. As Sebastian comes back the guys are still horsing around.

Sebastian hands me the drink which I take another gulp from.

"Did you wanna dance Clary?" He asks me.

I look over at Izzy and Maia who were listening in who nod enthusiastically.

"Sure." I say, finishing off my second drink.

As we walk back to the dance floor I start to feel the second drink taking effect and I feel… lighter. I like it. A lot.

I know I probably should of told Jace where I was going but my mind is just scattered.

"You look amazing tonight!" He yells over the music.

"You don't look too bad yourself." I yell back.

As the drinks start to take the full effect everything starts to mush together. The strobe lights above mix together making a beautiful stream of color above and all the music starts to sound the same. It's beautiful, everything's beautiful right now.

Sometime during us dancing someone bumps into me from behind hard, pushing me into Sebastian. He grabs both of my hips pulling me closer to him as he catches me from falling.

In the back of my mind I know this isn't right but I can't get the rest of me to believe that. I just go with it.

The dancing goes by in a blur of him grinding on me with the help of some other guys who come and go dancing with us. I feel the un sureness in the back of my mind go away after two more drinks Sebastian makes for me, maybe he is sweet after all.

After yet another random guy coming to dance with Sebby and I, Jesus why can't they just leave us to dance on our own, I see Jace looking around for something. He looks angry, maybe I should call him over.

He sees us before I even have the chance to yell his name. As he starts to walk toward us, he gets caught up by some girls circling around him to dance.

"Hey Clary." Sebastian whisper into my ear, a little urgently. "Why don't I give you that tour I told you about."

_That sucks_, I wanted to dance some more. I nod though. He grabs my hand as we run through the crowd. I keep tripping which makes me laugh harder each time I do, I'm so clumsy!

We finally make it to the grand stair case and begin to walk up together I see Jace and decide to yell to him.

"JACE!" I yell at the top of my lungs which is still pretty drowned out by the music. He seems to hear it though as he looks up at us and starts to push through the crowd toward us. Sebastian picks me up from the waist to get me up the next flight of stairs.

"I get it now!" I say to Sebastian, "We're playing hide and seek!"

"Lets go with that." Sebastian says, rolling his eyes.

"Where are we going?" I ask as he sets me down.

"You'll see soon enough." He gives me a smile which I happily return.

I hear Jace barreling up the stairs after us. _I need to find a hiding place._

Sebastian pulls me into a closet with him putting his hand over my mouth as Jace passes by. _This is fun!_ As he passes by we run down the hallways making me feel a little dizzy. I stop for a second the world spinning around me. I feel the little voice in my head start to come back. Sebastian picks me up and we start to run around again.

"SEBASTIAN! I swear when I get my hands on you I'll…"

He doesn't finish his sentence, Sebastian opens a door to a room a closes it just as quietly as he opens it. _ That's right. I came hear with Jace, this isn't right._

**!WARNING: It gets creepier from here!**

Sebastian lays me down on a soft bed making me feel tired.

"Did we win?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah, we did." He smiles down at me. Not the nice smile he's been giving me all night, a creepy one.

He gets on the bed with me looking me up and down for a second. I feel the mist from my mind starting to lift but my mind is still pretty clouded.

_Get out of there Clary! _ The back of my head is screaming; but the bed is so soft, and Sebastian's touch feels so nice. _Yell for Jace Clary!_

"You're so beautiful." He whispers to me, his fingers trailing up my thigh.

I close my eyes for a second grunting as I try to push him away through my drunken mind. He tighten his grip on me ; his smile widens at my attempt.

"Not so fast." He says, putting himself on top of me, using his elbows to prop himself up. Then he begins to trail kisses from my collarbone up to my lips.

_GET OUT! _My mind screams.

I begin to whimper and try to wiggle out but to no avail, he pushes more of his weight onto me as he flips over so that I'm now on top. As he's roughly kissing me I feel his hands snake around my back to the zipper of my dress. As he slowly unzips it I feel tears start to fall down my cheeks. He flips us over again as he wiggles me out of my dress exposing my bare chest and my underwear. He breaks out kiss to look at me, he gives an evil smile, scaring me. I take the chance to spit in his face with all of the energy I have left. His calm façade turns for a second to anger as he slaps me in the face so hard I move a couple of inches.

"Stupid bitch." He says with venom. " Looks like Jace can't save you this time."

I start to cry harder. He pushes my back down as he takes off his shirt. He comes back down to give me another rough kiss on the lips as I feel his hands start to wander down my body.

As he reaches my hips the door slams open. Through my still hazy mind I don't recognize at first that it's Jace. But when I do, he looks hostile. Sebastian looks up to see its him. Through the dizziness in my head and the tears falling down my face, I see Jace run at Sebastian making a hole in the wall from where Sebastian's head made impact. I don't know what else to do but curl up into a ball as Jace pummels Sebastian to a pulp in the corner.

"I swear." He says to a half conscious Sebastian "If I ever see you near her again, I'll show you how there are worse things than death. Got it?" When Sebastian doesn't answer, Jace picks him up by his hair "GOT IT?!" he says louder this time.

The only thing Sebastian can do is nod furiously at him. Jace lets go of his hair dropping Sebastian to the floor. He turns to me on the bed, his mood changing completely.

"Oh, Clary." He says sounding powerless, walking over to me slowly. He takes out his phone for a second and calls a number.

"Jordan, you and Maia meet us by the car, we're leaving."

He listens for a second.

"Dammit Jordan!" he yells, scaring me a little, " _please_, just get everybody outside, we'll be out in like 5 minutes."

He turns all of his attention back to me once he hangs up. I'm still curled up into a ball, my tears falling freely as my shoulder fall up and down with each silent cry. He takes my dress from the ground and walks slowly to the other side of the bed towards me. He hands me my dress and graciously turns around. I attempt to stand up but once my feet meet the ground I feel myself falling, weak from all of the alcohol.

Jace turns around just in time to catch me and helps me pull up and zip my dress.

"There," he says, smiling at me " All better."

I choke on another sob and hug him, letting it all out.

"You… you s- s-saved m- me." I say through sobs

"Anytime." He whispers back.

As I try to get my breathing under control enough to make a full sentence without stuttering I look up at him and he gasps. He goes to touch my cheek; which is probably red from when I was slapped. He gently touches it with his fingertips making it painless. His fists ball up in anger and he looks at Sebastian's unconscious body looking like he's ready to kill him. I put my hand on his balled up fist and his attention immediately comes back to me.

"Carry me?" I ask, still pretty weak from the night's events.

He swoops me into his arms as gently as he can but I still grunt a little from the soreness in my body. I rest my head on his chest as tears start to fall again, more slowly this time. He gives me a kiss on the cheek as we walk through the crowd.

When we get outside from the blur of the flashing lights and people; Jon, Izzy, Maia, Jordan and Simon are already out there loitering around the sidewalk. As they notice us walk out they all come running toward us overwhelming me a little. I start to cry a little more into Jace's shirt, hiding myself from their pity filled stares. I feel Jon's hand combing his hand through my hair. I spare a look up at him and his expression shows a mixture of resentful anger and sadness, the same as everyone else's, as Jace recall the events as quietly as he can.

I don't really remember us starting to walk to the car but the next time I open my eyes Jon is driving Jace's car, his knuckles turning white from holding the wheel too hard. Izzy is next to him in the passenger seat. I'm in the back seat with Jace laying on his lap.

The next time I open my eyes Jace is laying me down in his bed. He's about to turn off the lamp light and leave when I raise my voice.

"Jace?" I whisper. He looks at me softly. "Could you stay with me?" I don't think I could survive this night without him.

He come back to the bed taking off his shirt and jeans and gets into the bed with me after turning off the lamp, cautious at first to not touch me until I move close to him until I can feel him next to me. He hesitantly puts his arm around my waist, using his other arm as a pillow for his head.

"Jace?" I say after a second, whispering.

"Yeah?" He says.

"I think I love you." I whisper, not sure what he's going to say back. There's silence for a long time and I feel my eyelids getting heavy.

"Clary?" he says just as I'm about to slip out of consciousness.

"Hmm?" I say back, having not enough energy to form words.

"I think I love you too."

I feel myself smile and snuggle closer to him.

Jace.

My Jace.

**AN: I hope you guys like this chapter! I probably would've finished it earlier but I got SHERLOCKED… hehe…anyone? No? okay.**

**I love you all!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	9. Chapter 9: Living Nightmares

**Chapter Nine: Living Nightmares**

I wake up feeling warm. As I lift my head up gently I see Jace's droopy gold eyes looking down at me. I give him a lazy smile lying back down on his chest.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" he asks.

I feel my eyebrows knit together in confusion. What is he talking about?

I look up at him still confused, for a second.

"What do you me-" and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. Maybe two tons.

I lay back down on the bed replaying last night's events. The dancing. The drinking. The… the… I can't even say it in my mind.

I feel my breathing getting ragged as I remember what could've happened.

I'm back in Sebastian's room, him on top of me, him slapping me. It's too much. I feel Jace shaking me, but when I turn all I see is Sebastian. I let out a tiny scream and scramble backwards until I ultimately fall out of the bed onto the ground.

"Clary calm down." He says walking towards me. Adrenaline kicks in even more as he gets closer to me.

I try to make a run for the door but he grabs my arm faster than I could move a couple of steps. I feel myself curl into a ball as he lets go of my hand and attempts to pick me up. I hear myself scream as his hands touch me.

Right then I hear the door slam open to see my brother scanning the room until he catches sight of me.

"Clary? What's wrong?" He says, walking over to me slowly.

"Sebastian." I whisper through my sobs. I point in the direction where Sebastian is gone and Jace standing in his place.

My eyes widen when I see it's not who I originally thought it was. I feel a pang of guilt settle in my stomach.

"Jace." I whisper, my voice cracking a couple of times.

He looks afraid to come close to me, he just stays in his corner looking as guilty as I feel.

Along with the guilt I feel pain. A pain so real I can't do anything but fall back onto the bed holding the back of my head and whimpering. I close my eyes tightly, doing anything to take the pain away. When I open them again, Jace and Jon are above me with concerned looks on their faces. Through the pain though, I feel I have to make things right.

"Jace." I say, ignoring the added pain when I talk "I'm sorry. I didn't know what I-"

"Shhh." He says soothingly "You have nothing to apologize for Clary."

As darkness takes over me again I can't help but think how much more pleasurable death would feel right now.

* * *

As my eyes flutter open for the second time this morning I hear the sound of a beautiful melody being played by Jace on a piano in the corner of the room. As I turn under the covers, it's enough to trigger an upset stomach making me dash to the bathroom just in time as the contents of my stomach make a second appearance. Jace is there in no time holding my hair as I dry heave. When I'm done I flush the toilet and sit down on the floor, laying my head on the cool tile wall. Jace takes a glass from his sinks and fills it up with water then hands it to me. I take it gratefully taking small sips from it.

"I'm sorry." I say finally.

"For what?" He asks looking taken aback a little.

"For everything. Jace I don't deserve someone as amazing, sweet and thoughtful as you." I say hopelessly, waiting for him to break up with me.

"Clary, I need you more than you think." He says, coming to sit down next to me.

"No one makes me feel the way I do when I'm around you. It's like a piece of me is missing when you're not around. I feel complete with you in my life." He says honestly.

We sit there in silence for a couple of seconds.

"Oh and Clary?"

"Yeah?"

"You forgot handsome, and maybe you could've thrown amazingly sexy Oh! Or golden goddess." He says making me laugh, the first genuine laugh I've had in what seems like centuries.

"Come on." He says after a second standing me up and then helping me up.

"What are we doing?" I ask as we go down the stairs.

" Getting to the kitchen before Izzy can touch any of the food."

"I HEARD THAT." We both cringe as we hear Izzy in the kitchen yell.

As we walk in I'm hit with the scent of a burning, rancid something.

"Jesus." Jace says next to me, holding his nose "Izzy are you cooking or summoning a demon?"

"Very funny." Izzy replies dryly "I making pancakes!" she finishes cheerfully, showing us the batter she's mixing inside of a bowl.

Inside there's a dark brownish goop with swirls of yellow within it, clumps of the goop are sticking everywhere in the bowl. As she continues to stir the bowl a timer goes off making Izzy jump!

"The first batch is ready!" She says taking, still sticky glops from an incredibly oily pan.

"Try some Clary!" She says setting a plate in front of me. The nasty smell permeates around me.

"By the way." She says sounding a little more sympathetic, making me go rigid knowing what she's going to say next. "How are you fee-" From the corner of my eye I see Jace shaking his head frantically as if trying to tell her not to say anything. I'm grateful since I didn't want to talk about it anyway.

"You know what Iz." Jace says pushing the plate of god knows what away from me and back at Izzy.

"Why don't you leave the cooking to us?" he begins to coral Izzy out of the kitchen to the living room.

"Hey I can cook really we-" She can't finish her sentence since the kitchen door closes on her.

"Were you really going to eat that?" He asks me.

" does it look like I have a death wish." I say making him laugh.

I walk over to the kitchen throwing Jace a towel.

"Pancakes?" I ask him.

"I was thinking more along the lines of-"

"Pancakes it is." I say interrupting him as I get out the ingredients from the fridge.

* * *

It probably took longer to clean Izzy's mess than to actually make the food. After around 25 minutes of washing (and throwing soapy water at each other) and another 15 minutes of cooking we finally finish making breakfast. By this time everybody's awake watching tv in the other room.

"GUYS!" Jace yells "BREAKFAST."

Everyone starts filing slowly into the kitchen talking and laughing. I see Jon walk in looking sympathetic and frustrated. I put the food on the table and everyone digs in.

"You're lucky." Jace interjects. "We saved you all from having to eat Izzy's food."

Everyone laughs, aside from Jon and Izzy.

"Oh god bless." Jordan says earning him an elbow to the ribs.

As we laugh and reminisce on past events of Izzy's cooking, Jon all of a sudden slams his silverware on the table, causing us all to turn to him.

"Guys, cut it out I know we're all thinking the same thing." He says trying to hold in his frustration.

"Jon seriously you don't have to go there." Jace says trying to calm his best friend down, but still with a tone of warning in his voice.

"Oh cut the shit Jace." He retorts sharply at him.

I know where this is going. I look down at my hands to keep from having to look at my brother; I see Jace's hand grab one of mine calming down a little, giving me the courage to finally speak up.

"Jon, really, just let it go." I say quietly

He gives a short humorless laugh. "Are you kidding me? Clary almost got raped less than a day a go."

I feel Jace's grip on my hand tighten a little at this. I really wasn't in the mood for this right now, especially from my brother.

"And yet," He continues, despite the fact of everyone's shocked faces. "No one, not _one _person has brought it up. And you," He says staring at me with hard eyes. "You don't even seem fazed. Did you fucking _like_ it?!" He asked almost disgustedly.

A tiny gasp escapes me. Jon may be a loving brother; but that doesn't mean he didn't get some traits from our father, like his temper, how angry he can get.

I don't say anything; if he's like this I know better than to talk, it'll just fuel him more.

"Dude. Not. Cool." Jordan says looking pretty mad.

"Are you _kidding_ me?" Jace says trying hard to control his anger. "You would really say that to your sister? The one who was there for you when you broke your leg and missed two months of her art classes to care for your sorry ass? The girl who went to every football game of yours she was physically able to go to when she was in the hospital? This is how you treat someone who's showed nothing but love for you since the day she was born."

As Jon's anger starts to deplete little by little, he looks around the table to see angered faces on all of us, except for mine, stained with still falling silent tears.

"Clary-" he says incredibly guilty walking over to me. Before he can reach me Jace stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Jon," Jace says not looking at him "I think you should go for now."

He looks down for a second then nods, walking out of the room.

There's a tense moment where no one really knows what to do or say.

Before I even fully decide what _I'm_ doing I run out of the door to follow my brother. As I catch sight of him on the street, he's already pretty far up. I run after him, which is pretty hard to do in one of Jace's shirts and a pair of old leggings in a stash I keep at the Lightwoods' house.

"Hey." I say a little out of breath when I'm behind him. He must've been deep thought because he only turns around after I touch him on the shoulder.

"I guess you got Valentine's temper." I say after a silent moment. "But you also got mom's loving nature which," I say looking up at him, offering a small smile. " Trumps anything bad you could ever say to me."

I don't know why I'm not mad at him. I guess I could to relate to how much stress he's under playing big brother and parent when our parents are away, I know anything he does for me is out of the love and concern in his heart.

"Clary I just embarrassed you in front of our friends and your trying to make _me_ feel better?" He asks astonished. He shakes his head giving a short laugh and pulls me into a hug. "I'm just glad you have none of Valentine in you, don't ever let him make you believe different okay?" He says into my hair. I nod. "You know I love you? Right?"

"Right." I say back.

**AN: Kind of a short chapter but I wanted to get it out before I go back to my summer job. I just saw 22 jump street and it was AMAZING, my friend and I had to lie about our age just a teensy bit (okay 4 years) in order to get in but it was totally worth it! The next chapter is probably going to be a short one also but I'll try to get it out by Wednesday night at the latest! I love you all!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	10. Chapter 10: My Love

**INTERACTIVE CHAPTER: Take out those headphones and listen to My Love by Sia when Clary sings in this chapter!**

**Chapter 10: My Love**

_"This is gospel, for all the fallen ones, locked away in permanent slumber…"_

I'm singing along to Panic! At the Disco in my room while I'm sketching, anything to get Jace off of my mind. It's been an entire day since I've seen him; thanks a lot Labor Day.

_" IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOO!" _I know I'm singing out of tune right now but who cares, it's a _great _song.

As I crumple and throw yet another failed drawing to the ground, I feel my phone vibrate under me. _Probably Jon_. I think, checking on me to see if I'm okay since he's at his girlfriend's house. I decide not to answer. Seconds later my phone rings again. _Jeez._ I think picking up the phone and answering my phone.

"Jon I told you I'm-"

"Clary?" I hear on the other side of the line and it definitely doesn't sound like Jon.

"Jace?" I say back.

"Hey." He says after a second.

"Hi."

"Could you maybe… come over?" He asks with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yeah… yeah of course Jace. Is something wrong?" I ask kind of concerned.

"I just really need you right now." He says quietly, and then hangs up.

As he hangs up I immediately change out of my pajamas into the first things I see in my closet; a black skirt and a cream colored sweater. I throw on a pair of black converse and run out of the door toward the Lightwoods' house.

As I reach the front doors to their house I'm slightly out of breath but compose myself enough to knock on the door. To my surprise, Alec opens the door he looks surprised to see me too, he looks tired and worn out with dark bags around his eyes.

"Oh, hey Clary." He says as cheerfully as he can which comes out pretty bland.

"Hi Alec." I reply, not knowing much else to say at the moment, we haven't talked in a while which makes it that more awkward _plus_ I'm still wondering why Jace called me over.

"He's upstairs in his room. If that's who you're looking for." He says as if reading my mind. I smile at him gratefully which in turn he nods. I walk past him toward their stairs up to Jace's room as I walk past Izzy's room, the door is shut and I hear a thump as if something was just thrown at one of her walls. When I get to Jace's room his door is also closed. I decide to knock this time not knowing what's going on.

"I told you go away Izzy!" He yells at the door.

"It's me." I say

I hear rustling from the other said and then the door opens and I see Jace standing there in a pair of jeans and a black button down shirt. His hair looks tousled like he's been sleeping. He pulls me into the room and then closes the door again.

"Hey." I say, worried by the light pink tint in his eyes. Since I've gotten here he hasn't made eye contact with me once "Jace what's wro-"

Before I can finish Jace pulls me into a deep kiss making me forget what I was going to say. I lean into his kiss as he lays us both down on his bed deepening the kiss. As he lies on top of me, my mind reels back to three days ago at the party, and the kiss suddenly becomes too much to handle. I try my hardest not to startle him as I lean out of the kiss feeling a certain distance between the present.

"No," I say wrapping my hands around his wrists " You can't just grab at me when you want to ignore a question, it's not a substitute for actually talking"**(CoFA reference ftw!(: )**

He looks at me for a second, his eyes so full of sadness it makes my heart hurt. He gets up after a second running his hand through his hair out of frustration and then punching one of his walls leaving a dent in it startling me for a second. I go over to him after the initial shock to see blood sprouting out of his knuckles. I pull him over to the bed leaving him for a second to get the first aid kit out of his bathroom. When I re enter the bathroom his head is still hung low.

I get to work cleaning his hand, by putting antibiotic on his hand then wrapping it with gauze. When I finish I lay my head on his shoulder looking at his wrapped hand.

"Talk to me." I whisper after a second.

His head is still hung low so I don't see his expression when he inhales sharply.

"I could've done more." He starts; when I don't say anything he continues, "It's been two years._ Two years_ and I still know if I did more Max would still be alive today."

_That's right, _I think. Today marks 2 years that Max Lightwood lost his battle to brain cancer. That explains Alec looking exhausted, Izzy throwing things… Jace.

" I… I could've given more blood or found him a better donor that matched better or hung out with him more. I've read every medical journal, EVERY case of a 10 year old with brain cancer I could get my hands are and they were all the same, but I just thought he would be different." He says half to himself. I know how careful my answer has to be.

" From how long I knew Max, I know he wasn't scared you know why?" I ask him, when he doesn't answer I continue. "Because he was, is a fighter. I know the only one who could've ever taught him to be as strong, as caring, as brave he was during his time is you. I know the only person who could ever put that fire in his eyes throughout his time. I know that he wasn't afraid because he had you Jace." I say honestly.

"When I die," I say thoughtfully, I feel Jace go rigid next to me. "I know I won't be afraid. I thought before I wasn't afraid, but now that I have you, I know what it really means not to be scared. Max is lucky to have a brother like you, because in my life I don't think I've ever met someone as selfless as you are. You may be a little egotistical at times but I guess every night in shining armor needs to have a couple of flaws to be human."

We sit there for a few silent moments until Jace finally speaks up looking at out connected hands.

"I don't know how you do it." He asks me, his voice still pretty void of any emotion.

"What?" I ask gently.

"How you always seem to know the right thing to say." He looks up, his eyes still looking pretty distant. With the one thing I don't think I would ever see in Jace Lightwood's eyes.

Tears.

I can tell he's trying hard to keep up his emotionless wall while I'm still here. I go to lie down on his bed bringing him down with me so we're facing each other. I lay down next to him so my face is buried in his chest, I feel him lay his head on top of mine. As we lay there, he may not know and I'll never tell him I know, Jace lets a few tears escape his eyes occasionally making a path down my hair. We hold onto each other for a while giving each other comfort from our embrace. Both for a different reason. If I'm sure of one thing though, it's that to love is definitely _not_ to destroy.

Fuck you Valentine.

* * *

"Clary I need you." He says after a long stretch of silence, his voice is slightly raspy.

I don't say anything; I just keep playing with his soft short hair running my hand through his hair.

" Maryse and Robert are having a remembrance party for Max today. I don't even know why, they're a mess, but I don't think…no, I know I can't get through it without you."

"You know I wouldn't leave you." I say.

As we sit there in more silence, Izzy eventually barges into the room her eyes are red and puffy and she looks somber.

"Jace guests are about to arrive." She looks up and her eyes get big when she sees I'm here. "Oh!" she says wiping at her eyes "Hey Clary I didn't know you were here I was just kind of… um… I was just-" I stop her rambling by going up to hug her. She holds on to me tightly and lets a few sobs escape her before she composes herself.

" We should probably get going." Jace says from his bed.

We both nod and walk out of the room together taking a deep breath as we descend the stairs.

* * *

After 2 hours of mingling around with Jace I can honestly say that this has been a living hell for not only him, but for me too. But what kind of girlfriend would I be if I just left him? Alec, Izzy, and Jace have stayed stoic this entire time talking to past doctors and nurses and a couple of close family friends. They set up a sort of stage in one of the larger areas of their house for everyone to talk about how amazing Max was and how much we miss him; everybody's speeches are starting to sound the same to me.

As Maryse comes back on the stage she looks even more a mess (If that's even possible).

"Has everyone gone?" She asks scanning the room until her eyes meet mine.

"Clary." She says, offering me a small smile. " Would you like to offer a couple of words or anything."

For a split second I think about saying no and making a run for the door. But after everything they've done for me how could I not? I loved Max like he was my brother and I couldn't let him down like that.

I nod making my way to the front of the audience and onto the small stage up front. All I want to do is hide as I look out at the audience and see everyone's eyes on me. I open my mouth to find no words want to come out, I feel myself starting to freak out until I see a piano in the corner of the stage. Public speaking isn't exactly my forte so if I'm going to get through this I'm just going to have to sing it.

I spare one last look at the audience catching Jace's eyes for a split second before I let my fingers fly over the keys.

_My love, leave yourself behind,_

_Beat inside me, leave you blind._

_My love, you have found peace._

_You were searching for relief._

_You gave it all,_

_Gave into the call._

_You took a chance and_

_You took a fall for us._

_You came thoughtfully,_

_Loved me faithfully_

_You taught me honor,_

_You did it for me._

_Today you will sleep away_

_You will wait for me, my love_

_Now I am strong_

_You gave me all_

_You gave all you had, and now I am whole._

_My love, leave yourself behind_

_Beat inside me, leave you blind._

_My love, look what you can do._

_I am mending, I'll be with you._

_You took my hand, added a plan,_

_You gave me your heart._

_I asked you to dance with me._

_You loved honestly,_

_Gave what you could release._

_Ah oh._

_I know in peace you'll go._

_I hope relief is yours._

_Now I am strong._

_You gave me all._

_You gave all you had, and now I am whole._

_My love beat inside me_

_My love_

_My love, leave yourself behind,_

_Beat inside me, I'll be with you._

_Oh oh_

_Du du du oh_

As my fingers play the last notes everyone in the audience notices a giant ray of light shine through the window behind me.

I think we all want to believe it was Max.

**AN: I hope you guys liked this chapter! I know it was pretty short but I know the next one will be longer! If you guys have any song ideas to put into the fanfic for certain chapters I'm open to them! You guys are amazing and I love you all!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	11. Chapter 11: I Told You So

**Chapter 11: I Told You So.**

_Ugh._ I think as my alarm almost puts me into cardiac arrest on this fine Tuesday morning. I jump out of bed but immediately regret it when I feel all the food from yesterday come back for a second appearance. I make it to my bathroom just in time, luckily.

This is the fourth day in a row and I'm starting to think I'm sick. Obviously I haven't told Jon yet, he would get even more worried than he already is. Then again, I haven't told Jace yet either. I feel like after what happened at max's re- funeral two weeks ago we've gotten a lot closer. When I met him at school the next day he seemed happier but just… something made me feel even happier whenever I'm around him. Luckily, there have been no sightings of Sebastian after the party either which is a relief.

After I finish brushing my teeth I get dressed in a black skirt and a mint green sweater that goes off one shoulder to see the black tank top under it. I decide to keep my hair down since I don't feel like trying to tame it. As I finish applying some mascara and a touch of lip-gloss I hear Jon yell from downstairs.

"CLARY! BREAKFAST!"

"YOU MEAN THE BAGELS I BOUGHT YESTERDAY" I yell back down, there's a moment of silence until Jon yells back

"YEAH, PRETTY MUCH!"

Grabbing my backpack, I take the stairs two at a time, almost tripping a couple of times. When I make it to the bottom step I feel myself being swept off of my feet by Jace picking my up by my waist and twirling me a couple of times making me dizzy. If I hadn't thrown up already this morning, it would've been all over him.

"Hey." He says smiling as he sets me down.

"Whoa." I say holding onto him for another second as the room stops spinning. "Hi!" I say finally.

We walk back into the kitchen pouring himself a glass of orange juice. I take out a glass myself and pour some for myself. I'm not hungry at all, but I take a bagel anyway knowing Jon would flip if I skipped another meal so I take small bites as Jace and Jon talk about sports and cars. _Guys._

I start to tune out of their conversation; daydreaming while picking at my bagel. That is, until I'm pushed out of my daydream by the food I just ate rushing back up. I push Jon who was putting away the orange juice out of the way so I can run through the kitchen toward the bathroom in our living room. I make it there just in time as I start to puke out everything I just ate. Jace and Jon aren't far behind me, I feel their presence behind me but I don't bother to look at them through my teary eyes as I'm still dry heaving over the toilet. I feel Jace come over to me holding up my hair and rubbing my back soothingly, as my body starts to calm itself down, I sit down on the tiled floor leaning my head back on the wall. Jace leaves the room for a second and comes back with a glass of water, I taking it gratefully draining the whole cup.

" How are you feeling?" Jon asks concerned looking at my pale face.

"I'm fine." I say back to him reassuringly, my head still resting on the wall.

"You're right," Jon says trying to convince himself. " I mean, it could just be like a stomach flu or something, it's only the first time you've thrown up in weeks."

"Not exactly…" I say, causing his head to snap back toward me. Jace is leaning on the door, with an eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean not exactly?" He asks trying hard to stay calm.

"Clary, how many times has this happened?" Jace asks from the door anxiously waiting for my answer.

I look at both of their faces for a second before I answer.

"Four times." I say, they both go rigid with the same slightly frustrated but worried look on their faces. "In four days." I finish.

"Clary, why didn't you tell me?!" Jon asks, half yelling which makes me jump a little which, in turn causes me to be overcome in a fit of coughing. This makes both Jon and Jace move closer to me looking equally concerned.

As my fit of coughing seizes, I look down at the hand I was coughing into to see a small amount of blood left there. I feel a tiny moan escape through my lips and I let my head fall back onto the wall feeling slightly dazed.

Jace, though, gets to me before my head can make contact with the wall scooping me up into his arms and walking me over to one of our couches in the living room. He gently lays me down on it and then sits down to put my head on his lap.

"Clary," He says more gently this time "You need to tell me these things. You can't just hide them and think they're going to go away. Deal?" He says holding out his pinky like we would to when we were little kids.

"Deal." I say interlocking our pinkies.

"Okay then," He says giving me a half smile.

"Well I think you should stay home today?" He says after a second.

I feel my eyes widen.

"What? No! I'm perfectly fine see?" I say going to stand up but swaying on my feet a little bit.

"Still, you need to rest."

"Pshaw!" I say, "I get all the rest I need during math class. Jon I can make it seven hours. Right Jace?" I say to my boyfriend for backup.

"He's right Clary." He says behind me.

"See! He says you're ri- wait!" I say looking back at Jace; he only gives an innocent shrug before I turn back toward Jon.

"Sorry Clare, but I think you really do need to rest." He pulls me gently back down onto the couch on his lap and gives me quick peck on the lips before going upstairs with Jon to get their football bags.

"Nope." I say not taking no for an answer. I grab my backpack from where it is next to me by the couch and walk to Jace's car sitting in the backseat with my arms crossed.

Jace and Jon follow me out, Jon looking exasperated; Jace with a small smile on his face.

"You're not getting out any time soon are you?"

I shake my head at him defiantly, putting on my seatbelt.

Jon sighs then gets into the front passenger seat. Jace gives a small laugh then walks over to the driver's side and gets in.

As we drive to school I'm constantly reprimanded by Jon saying "If you feel sick or anything, tell Izzy and she'll take you home." Or "Don't wear yourself out too much."

I roll my eyes the entire way to school.

* * *

Maybe going to school today wasn't my best idea. By the time I get through watching football practice, science and math class, I'm worn out and I feel sick to my stomach. I _know_, though, that I'm not going to go home and here all of Jon's 'I told you so!".

Yeah that's definitely not going to happen. Suffer in silence it is.

By the time math ends I don't realize the bell rings until Maia taps me on the shoulder pulling me out of my muggy state.

" It's time for second period." She says, looking at me concerned "Hey, are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah. Thanks." I reply getting out of my chair, stumbling as I get up.

She looks unsure as I walk… stumble by her. I give her a small, reassuring smile she returns as I walk out of the room into the chaos of the hallways. I already know I can't make it through math class so I make my way to the restroom to stake out until lunch. As I make it in there I see Isabelle touching up her makeup. She does a double take when she sees me come in.

"Clary? You look terrible." She says walking past me to lock the bathroom door so no one can get in.

I walk toward one of the bathroom mirrors to see my pale, clammy face staring back at me, my red hair a stark difference to pale complexion. As I bring a hand up to my face I notice it shaking.

"Hey." I hear her say from behind me, it sounds further away though for some reason. "Are you okay?"

As I turn my head in her direction, the movement brings on another wave of dizziness causing me to almost fall over if it weren't for Izzy grabbing me quickly and gently helping me down to the ground. By now everything is spinning violently around me making my head hurt.

"Clary. Clary, look at me." She says somewhere in front of me. When I can't find where she is I start to freak out.

"I can't Iz." I say helplessly, close to tears.

When the headache becomes too much I feel myself lay down on the tile floor as the world swims around me with nothing I can do to control it. Hot tears start to roll down my face as I feel myself start to slip from consciousness.

" Clarissa Morgenstern," She says sternly yet gently "Focus on my voice okay?"

The only noise I can make out is a small moan.

"Here" She says, helping me sit up and then handing me a bottle. "Drink."

I bring the bottle to my lips and I start to slowly drink, as I swallow I burst into a fit of coughs. Through my fading vision I see the hand that was over my mouth speckled with blood. I know I shouldn't freak out but I feel my self start to hyperventilate.

"Do _not_ go into shock Clary, breathe." Izzy says gently grabbing my shoulders.

I try to take slower breaths but it's no use, I'm already too far gone.

"Think of something happy. Remember that time we tricked Jace into eating my food when he thought it was chocolate pudding." She says, offering a small laugh.

As I start to fade even more into unconsciousness, I try to think of all the happy times, Like when Alec, Izzy, Jace, and I got in trouble for having a wheelchair race down the hospital hallways. Or the time Izzy and I decided to take a six hour detour home from school…

_" You said you guys were coming home right after school. What kind of walk takes six hours?!" Jace had scolded us._

_"A long one?" I had offered, making both Izzy and I crack up._

I feel my head hit the dirty tiling again as darkness takes over my vision. The last thing I hear over the screaming pain in my body is Izzy desperately yelling my name.

Then nothing.

**Jace POV:**

_That's weird._ It's almost time for history and Clary still hasn't met me at her locker.

I pretend to go through my backpack so I don't look like some freak just awkwardly waiting in the hall. _Maybe she forgot._

I slowly start to walk to our history class as the bell rings signaling I'm late. As I meander through the hall get some dirty looks from those crazy PTO parents telling me to get to class. I start to walk a little faster until I reach the girls' bathroom. I almost pass it up until I hear someone screaming in there.

Girls and their periods I guess.

"Clary! Clary please wake up!"

I stop dead in my tracks as I hear those words. I run back to the girls bathroom frantically trying to open the door.

"We're busy!" I hear Izzy say through a choked sob on the other side.

"Iz it's me." I say quickly trying not to gather any unwanted attention.

There's a moment where I don't think she's going to open the door until I hear a soft click and the door swings open. As I'm pulled in I take in the horrifying scene. I see Clary laying on the ground unconscious looking scarily pale. As I run over to her she doesn't move a muscle, when I check for her pulse it's there; but very faint. I feel a small weight on my shoulders lift at the tiny accomplishment.

"Iz we need to get her to a hospital." Jace say frantically.

"You don't think I already thought of that? I don't have a car and we are definitely not calling an ambulance, it'll bring too much attention." Izzy cries, pacing across the bathroom.

"Then we'll use my car." I say, throwing her my car keys from my backpack.

"How are we going to make it to the parking lot without people noticing?" She asks, Jesus, why won't she just go along with it.

"We run." I say, picking up a limp clary into my arms, as I lift her up she gives a faint moan that breaks my heart.

"Shh." I say to her gently "It's okay."

Her eyes start to flutter open as she tries to lift her head. She looks at me confused for a second then gives me a small smile before falling unconscious again.

Izzy grabs Clary's backpack holding on to it for dear life. Everyone is in class already but there's always stragglers in the hallways, let's just hope none of them are people we know.

As we exit the bathroom we start to jog through the halls trying to make as little sound as we can. We're almost to the parking lot when we hear someone yell from down the hall.

"Hey! What do you think you kids are doing!?" Neither of us bother to look back we only run faster through the exit toward my car. "Get back here!" he yells from some distance behind us.

When we reach my car Izzy gets into the front and I crawl into the back with Clary on my lap. Izzy backs out of the parking spot violently as the mysterious voice, which happens to be a security guard reaches us. He looks livid; as we drive away I can hear him yelling god knows what at us.

* * *

As Izzy speeds through every pedestrian, stop sign, and red light I feel Clary start to toss on my lap, I try as gently as I can to sooth her by running my hands through her hair which seems to work until she is overcome by a fit of coughing leaving a crimson red stain on her hand causing her to give another small moan.

"It's okay Clary," I say trying hard not to freak out "We're almost there." I finish giving her a light kiss on her forehead.

2 minutes later we reach the hospital, Izzy speeds into the parking lot almost running over a nurse on her break. She quickly pulls into a parking spot and we rush into the hospital entrance. As we enter the emergency wing I see none other than my adoptive dad there taking notes on a clipboard.

He doesn't notice us at first but when he looks up he does a double take.

" Jace? Isabelle? Shouldn't you two be at school?" He asks in a slightly annoyed tone.

However, when he sees the look on Izzy's face and then at limp Clary in my arms, he immediately yells for someone to get a stretcher. A nurse is immediately there who takes Clary out of my arms and onto the stretcher. Our dad starts to talk to three nurses in rushed voices that quickly rush Clary, my Clary, down a long hallway. I try to follow but I'm stopped by a nurse who holds me back.

"Only doctors and nurses are allowed sir." She says in a matter of factly voice.

"But that doctors my father." I retort back to her, desperately wanting to be with Clary.

"Yes but are you a doctor?" She says back, I don't answer. "That's what I thought. You can wait in here for now until we call you back okay?"

Defeated I take a seat next to Izzy in the empty waiting room. Izzy is crying but trying hard not to make any noise, I pull her into a hug, where she lets out all of her crying. I try my best to comfort my sister but it's hard when you don't know what's happening so you can't even comfort yourself.

After an hour and a half of anxious waiting, I decide I need to call Jon who's probably wondering where we are. I reach for my backpack under me, which turns out being Clary's bringing a fresh stab of pain to my heart. Instead I take out Clary's phone opening it to see a picture of us from when we went to the movies we both had popcorn in our hair from trying to throw it into each other's mouth which obviously failed miserably.

I scroll through her contacts until I find Jon's. I press the call button and wait. He answers after the second ring.

"Clary?" He says, "Where are you? We're like 40 minutes into lunch."

"Jon." I say finally, in a tight voice.

He's quiet for a second and can hear all of the chaos of the lunchroom he's in.

"Jace? Why do you have my sister's phone? Is something wrong? Where the hell are you guys? Are you even at _school_."

I decide not to answer any of his questions, I'd rather have him come to us. Izzy is watching the phone call unfold next to me through curious, red tinted eyes.

"Jon, I'm sorry." I say " We're in the hospital."

"WHAT?!" He yells through the phone line, probably bringing a lot of attention to himself.

"It's Clary. We're at the hospital where my dad works." I say "I'll explain when you get here."

He curses under his breath "Yeah, I'll be there in like 10 minutes." He hangs up after that.

Izzy and I both look at each other for a second before going back into our own thoughts.

This is going to be a long day.

**AN: Tell me how you guys liked this chapter! I'm trying to move this story along because I finally know where it's going! SHORT STORY, I was putting on a shoe yesterday but luckily I had looked down at my shoe and there was a Scorpion in it! I think I saw my life flash before my eyes at that moment. ANYHOO. You guys are all amazing thank you so much for the continued support and amazing reviews! I love you all!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	12. Chapter 12: Visitors

**Chapter 12: Visitors**

**Jace POV**

5 agonizing hours.

We've been sitting here for 5 hours without knowing what's happening to my angel. Izzy is sleeping in what looks like a very uncomfortable position in one of the waiting room chairs; Jon has been pacing around the lobby for the past hour; occasionally asking a passing nurse if he can see her. I, on the other hand, am about ready to break something.

I'm broken out of my phase when my dad walks in looking pretty tired. I nudge Izzy and she wakes up immediately looking just as exhausted. He comes over to us, taking in all of our faces before talking.

"Clary had all of us scared for a little while." He starts, "Her heart stopped for at least two minutes." I feel my heart stop when I hear this. When I look over at Jon he's trying hard to stay calm, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"We were able to restart it. However," I feel the breath I let out freeze again when he says the last word.

"Clary's cancer is back." He finishes, looking straight at Jonathan.

When Jon hears this I hear a small whimper escape his lips before he storms out of the hospital doors, as much as I want to follow him I want to hear the rest of the prognosis.

" Although her leukemia has come back, it's definitely not as bad as it was 3 years ago which is a huge relief bringing her fatality rate down by around 30%, that, is a miracle. Clary's a fighter." He says to Izzy and I bringing a huge weight off of my shoulders.

"Can… can we see her?" Izzy asks in a quiet voice, unshed tears in her eyes.

"Yes." Robert says simply. I feel my legs start to rush toward wherever she is until Robert grabs my shoulder pulling me back.

"Don't rush her, she's still extremely weak and needs rest; okay?" He says in a serious voice.

I just nod at him, really anxious to see Clary.

"She's in room 418." He sighs, beginning to walk outside, probably to go find Jon.

I don't care though; the only thing on my mind is seeing Clary. I rush past each room number until I finally see 418. Before I open the door I take a deep breath to calm myself down. I look over to Izzy who was trailing behind me, she nods and I open the door.

The first thing I see when I enter the room is Clary's fiery red hair splayed out on a pillow. Her eyes are closed and but there's a little more color in her face. She looks so peaceful right now; we both walk in as quietly as we can trying not to wake her.

I pull a chair up next to her bed so I can sit next to her. Izzy goes to sit down on the other side of the bed looking just as relieved as I am. I put my hand on top of her small hand, which seems to wake her. She gives a small, sharp intake of breath and her eyes start to flutter open.

I glance over at Izzy who looks at me as if to say _Great job, asshole_.

When her beautiful emerald green eyes open, she squints a little, taking in the room and then t her head to me; when she recognizes it's me she smiles.

"Jace." She says drowsily looking at me through half lidded eyes.

"Hey there beautiful. How are you feeling?" I ask.

"Better than I felt the last time I was here." She says honestly.

She slowly turns her head toward Izzy who has a couple of tears falling down her cheeks.

"Oh god." She says, waking up a little when she sees Izzy's tears "What did I do?" She looks my way as if for an answer and then turns back to Iz when I have nothing to offer. Izzy gives a short laugh,

"You just really scared us, Clary." She replies quietly "I'm just really happy you're okay though."

Clary smiles at her taking her hand. We're silent for a little while until Clary says,

"Shouldn't you guys be at school?" This makes Izzy and I laugh a little causing Clary to look even more confused.

"Yeah we kind of… skipped." I say vaguely, she shrugs and drops the subject.

Right then a nurse comes in holding a clipboard.

"Clary, We called your parents. They'll be here tomorrow, okay?" Clary nods. "You gave them quite a scare." The nurse smiles and then exits the room.

**Clary POV:**

After the nurse leaves I push myself up to a sitting position. With a small grunt of pain I accomplish my small feat. I'm exhausted but I don't want to miss out on talking to people other than doctors and nurses.

"So…" I say, trying to strike a conversation with them. "Sit with me." I finish moving to the middle of the small hospital bed and patting the sides on either side of me. They each gently sit on the bed with me so we're all snug in the tiny bed.

"I wonder what's on tv." I say, hopefully that'll deter their worried looks.

I grab the remote and start to flip through the channels.

"Ooh! Walking Dead!" I hear Izzy say next to me.

"Look! Sherlock!" I turn to Izzy who shakes her head violently. I'm about to click on the channel with Sherlock on it when Jace say enthusiastically,

"Gossip Girl!" Izzy and I both turn our heads questionably in Jace's direction who's trying to wipe the excited look off of his face "Or Sherlock." He says non-chalantly.

Izzy and I burst out laughing, I never knew he loved Gossip Girl! As we continue laughing I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head that makes me wince and stop laughing immediately. Izzy stops too giving me another concerned look. Jace also looks worried. Once I shake off the headache I offer both of them a small smile they return.

"Sherlock it is." I say turning it to that channel. I rest my head on Jace's chest as we watch the show, starting to nod off with the first half hour of the show. As I feel myself slipping once again into sleep a small smirk appears on my face.

"Gossip Girl." I say half to myself, I hear Izzy's short laugh rumble the bed before I'm sucked into sleep.

* * *

I must've been out for a while. When I open my eyes again the room is dark, I'm not alone though. Though the lamplight by my bed I see my brother starting to nod off in a chair across the room. I'm still laying on Jace's chest who is knocked out cold. Izzy, though, is nowhere to be seen. When I turn my head to the other side of the room, I see Mom and Luke; How did they get here so fast?

"Mom? Luke?" I say, starting to feel tears form in my eyes. I never know how much I miss the both of them until they come back from their business trips.

"Hey." My mom says quietly coming closer to my hospital bed with Luke behind her. "How are you feeling, honey?" She asks looking me up and down like the worried mother she always is.

"Fine, I guess." I say trying to sit up, my muscles feel sore so the best I can do without waking Jace up is scooting toward them.

"How's London?" I ask them, laying my head on my mother's lap. I look at the wall clock, the last time I checked it, it was 4 o'clock and now it's 9:30. Even after 5 ½ hours of sleep I'm still tired.

"It's beautiful." Luke says. "We'll have to take you there someday, when we're not working. Oh! We brought you something back." He says looking through one of his jacket pockets.

"The lady we're painting for, Tessa Gray, heard about you and called you a real 'shadowhunter'." He says, I look at him slightly confused. " That's what I looked like when she told us that too, but she explained a shadowhunter is a brave person who fights the things not all of us can see. Then she wanted me to give you this."

He holds out a hand to give me this beautiful bronze angel. Her wings seem to be made of clockwork and in her hands she holds a sword.

"Oh my god it's beautiful." I say, grunting when I try to sit up again. I put on the necklace and fall in love with it even more. "Thank you. And tell Tessa I say thank you very much." I finish.

When my mother pulls out her camera she catches everyone in the room off guard as the flash goes off startling both Jace and Jon from their sleep. Jon glares at our mom for a second before noticing that I'm awake. Jace wakes up slowly looking around drowsily, he looks over to see my parents and scrambles out of the bed.

"Mrs. Morgenstern, Luke, Hi!" He says going over to them giving Luke a handshake and my mom a quick hug.

"Please, Call me Jocelyn, I hate going by Morgenstern." She says.

I lay my head back down on one of the pillows in the bed as I watch everyone get to know each other again. My mind starts to wander off as I start to think about the terrible things I'll have to endure again, the chemo, the medications, missing the occasional weeks of school. I guess there's also some good this time too though, I won't lose my hair this time since the chemo isn't as strong, and I this time I have Jace by my side; this time as my boyfriend. I start to doze off again until I feel Luke touch my hair.

"Hey kiddo, are you okay there?" He asks me trying to sound lighthearted but with an undertone of concern.

I nod my head. Luke has always been like a father to me since I was around 6 years old when my mom started having problems with her marriage. When my mom and Luke got married, though everything seemed to get better.

" We're going to start heading out then, we're only 10 minutes away if you need anything." My mom chimes in.

"I think I'll be fine mom. I mean, I _am _in a hospital so…" I reply playfully.

She smiles and gives me a kiss on the forehead. Luke is next giving me a kiss on my forehead also. Then Jon comes by my bed, ruffling my head and then saying,

"She'll be fine, if she's as stubborn as she is at home I don't think cancer has anything on her." Luck and mom look at each other laughing for a second. I take the opportunity to flip off my brother while they're not looking which makes him smile and me smirk.

As they start to walk toward the door I hear a small commotion coming from the hallway. I can tell Jon is listening too.

"Sir, visiting hours are over." I hear the nurse say.

"I assure you, I won't take long. Besides, I'm her father." We both seize up at the sound of that voice.

He walks in giving a theatrical knock on the already open door.

Valentine.

All of our eyes turn in his direction, I hear Mom gasp as Luke holds her around her waist. Jon has an angry look on his face. Jace seems slightly confused but plays along.

"There she is!" Valentine says, walking over to my bedside. He makes it halfway to me before he stopped by Jon.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jon asks with disgust clear in his voice.

"Now, Now" Valentine starts, acting hurt. "That's no way to treat you're father."

After Valentine speaks Jace seems to understand. He looks at me with a face full of surprise, disgust, and anger. I nod, answering his unspoken question.

"You're right." Jon says sarcastically, "That's why I don't treat Luke like that." He finishes giving Valentine a small sarcastic smirk.

He seems slightly annoyed by this by the way there's a vein popping out of his neck as if trying to hold in his anger.

"Well, it isn't like I'm here to see _you_." Valentine replies, looking him up and down in disgust. "I'm here to see my daughter."

Valentine walks past Jon who looks murderous towards me. "Contrary to all of your misconceptions, I worry about this girl."

I flinch as he puts his hand on my cheek, thinking he was going to hit me, and trails it down my face. All the emotions I had for Valentine; fear, worthlessness, anger, disgust, and too many I don't even have words for resurface leaving me speechless. I just lay there still looking down as he stares at me.

"Valentine I think you should leave." My mom says, anger clear in her voice.

"You!" He half yells, spinning on his heel to face her. "Shut up."

"Hey!" I say, turning all attention to me, "Don't talk to her like that." I finish timidly.

"Ah Clary. That's the girl I remember, always so feisty." He says turning back to me to play with my hair; Jace looks enraged as he starts to move toward Valentine, ready to punch him. Jon stops him, whispering something in his ear that makes him stop begrudgingly.

"If only you could understand what a… a whore your mother is." He says to me gently.

I give a short laugh "You're one to talk." I say beside myself, making eye contact with him " How dare you call my mother a whore, when you would go around to any strip club you could find, getting laid by any piece of shit that was drunk enough to actually find you attractive."

Everyone looks shocked at the words that have just come out of my mouth, including me.

" Oh Clarissa, a couple of more years with me and you would've understood. _I'm_ the victim here. You're… mother here and Luke were having an affair behind my back."

"For good reason." I spit back with as much venom I can muster from my worn out body.

"Someday Clarissa, someday." He says coming down to whisper in my ear "I'll be back for you." He stands up again and exits the room leaving nothing but shocked silence.

" I hate him." I hear Jon say from the door next to Jace who looks like he's ready to kill him.

I sit up again feeling absolutely drained.

"He was right about one thing." Luke finally says.

We all look at him.

"Clary can be pretty feisty." He smiles at me and gives me a thumbs up I'm too weary to return. I feel my eyelids start to droop as my head rests sideways on my shoulder.

"My baby's tired." I hear my mom say, coming up to me to give me another kiss on my forehead. "I love you honey." She whispers to me as she lays me back down.

"Jocelyn we should get going." Luke says finally, Jocelyn gives me another worried look and then hesitantly nods.

Jon stays where he is "I'm not going. Not with that… sicko around looking for my sister."

"Jon." I whisper, he comes over to me "I'll be fine, besides you look exhausted. You need rest for school tomorrow."

"Clary I don't have to go to school tomo-"

"For me Jon?" I ask him quietly. "The football team needs their star player." I say

He looks reluctant but eventually nods. "I'll see you tomorrow okay?" I nod and he rustles my hair again. "I love you sis." He says before he leaves the room with Mom and Luke. Jace is about to follow them out of the door when I call him over.

"Jace?" I say, he turns around at the door. "Will you stay with me?" He looks at My mom and Luke who smile and nod at Jace as they leave.

He comes back into the room taking off his shoes and jeans leaving him in a pair of boxers. I scoot over giving him space to get into the bed. It's more spacious now that Izzy isn't in the bed also with us.

"Clary, your father… your real father-" Jace starts as I lay my head on his chest.

"Shh." I say interrupting him. "It's okay, he doesn't matter okay?" I say.

"Okay." He says back kissing my forehead, dropping the subject.

"You know, I've been thinking." I say drowsily to him.

"And?" He asks.

"I don't think anymore, I know, that I'm in love with you Jace Lightwood." I say into the darkness of the room.

Jace looks down at me and I look up at him. His eyes are so full of love and happiness if I wasn't so tired I would've kissed him right then.

"Well Clarissa Morgenstern, hate to break it to you, but I am uncontrollably in love with you too. There's no getting rid of me now." He replies smiling one of his beautiful smiles.

"Darn." I say playfully. "Because If I remember correctly, there's this really cute guy who works here."

" Cuter than me?" Jace asks me

" Maybe…" I say starting to nod off.

"I doubt that," he whispers "I mean who could be hotter than me?" he asks me.

I'm too tired to talk anymore so I only laugh. Jace plants a kiss in my hair after that. The last thing I hear before I'm sucked into a peaceful darkness is Jace,

"Sweet dreams Clary." He whispers.

**AN: Tell me what you guys thought about this chapter! ****Also comment a funny saying, story, quote or anything! My favorites I'll put into the next chapter!****I love you guys so much! I can't tell you guys how much I appreciate your support! You guys are amazing!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	13. Chapter 13: Pancake Picnics

**Chapter 13: Pancake Picnics**

**Clary POV**

I forgot just how boring the hospital can be.

Sure, After forcing Jace to go to school, it got pretty boring being alone for the first couple of hours. Especially when the first round of chemo was issued to me, along with it came nausea, sleepiness, and some pain. Here I am now, just flipping through random channels being degraded to watching Jeopardy reruns. Instead of succumbing myself to another 30 minutes of this show I decide to clean myself up.

God bless my mother for bringing me some clothes so I don't have to wear this gown around the hospital. I sneak in and sneak out of the shower without having any of the nurses noticing to take an incredibly fast shower and changing into a pair of black leggings and a loose white tee shirt. I may not feel 100% but I'm definitely _not_ going to lie in bed all day.

I guess I wasn't as sneaky as I thought I was. When I come back in Dr. Lightwood is there looking at the necklace I left on one of the side tables. He looks up at me.

"Ah, there you are Clary. The question is why aren't you resting?" He asks me raising an eyebrow.

" I'm _bored_." I say honestly "I have nothing to do in here. Seriously though, If I have to watch one more rerun of Jeopardy, I might die." I whine.

There's a small smile on his face after I finish my speech.

"Come here" He says beckoning me over with his hand. " If you're going to walk around, you need to stay connected to your medicine until the IV runs out." He says replacing the IV back into my wrist.

I look at him in surprise "Really?" I say. I barely left my room the last time I was here aside from going home and the rare visit with other kids.

He laughs, "Really. Follow me." He walks out the door with me and my IV in tow.

As we walk my room, there's a nurse who looks as if she was about to enter the room.

"Um… Mr., No… Dr. Lightwood, Clary isn't allowed yet out of her roo-" She starts sounding slightly frazzled to see her boss.

" It's fine Imogen, she has my permission." Dr. Lightwood says to her softly.

She nods at him and goes back to looking at her clipboard while walking away.

As we walk down the hallway, I start to remember which part of the hospital I'm in, obviously the cancer ward. I remember seeing this place through younger eyes three years ago for the first time; how scared I was until I met Dr. Lightwood when he explained everything.

"So," He says as we walk. "You and Jace huh?" He asks.

"Yeah." I say thoughtfully at the sound of his name "Is that a bad thing?" I ask suddenly.

"Quite the opposite." He says, " He's seemed… different ever since you two got to know each other better. Happier."

I don't say anything, not knowing what to say. I think the conversation is over until he begins to talk again.

"Ever since we adopted him. We, Maryse and I, felt like there was nothing we could do to get him to open up to us. Sure, he loosened up after a few months, but there were still those walls he had up that for years we could never bring down. Then, after Max died." He says for a second, swallowing hard "He brought those walls up even more, he'd avoid any serious conversation we would want to have with him, he was all sarcasm and wit. That is, until you came along." He says, looking down at me giving me a half smile.

"From the first day your brother introduced Jace to you, he actually wanted to _talk_. To me, to Maryse. He wanted to know more about you in any way he could, we would talk about Max, which was more than I could ever wish for, to have a son who wasn't afraid to have a conversation with his dad, even if I wasn't his real one." He finishes right as we reach a door.

"You've changed him Clary. I can't thank you enough for that." He says, smiling down at me.

I blush "I guess we're even then, I mean you've saved my life more than once. Literally."

He laughs at that and opens the door. "Go wild." He says

I look into the room and gasp as I walk in. A whole room, dedicated to _art_. On one wall there's every color of paint your could possibly think of, and some you probably couldn't. Another wall is dedicated to crayons, colored pencils, pastels, art pencils, clay and so much more. There are tables littered around the room stuffed with canvases, different types of paper, and sculpting tools. I walk into the room, still taking it all in. I look back at Dr. Lightwood who smiles at my awed expression.

"Have fun." He says, before he looks down at his buzzing pager and walks out the door.

I grab box of Prisma Colored pencils from the wall along with some graphite pencils and an eraser. I take a seat at one of the tables and start to draw.

Maybe this won't be so bad.

* * *

**Jace POV**

This is worse than I thought it would be.

After an agonizing six periods without knowing how Clary's doing all I want to do is punch something.

_Just one more period_. I can tell Jon is thinking the same thing from the look on his face. Poor guy, he has to go through this a _second _time with his little sister. I don't know How I would respond if that happened to Iz. I mean sure, she can be extremely annoying at times, but I know I can't go through losing another sibling.

A tap on my shoulder breaks me from my thoughts; I look behind me to see it was Jon. Since we're watching a video on music theory today, the teacher is basically asleep at his desk. I turn around and see Jon has his phone in his hand. _Why didn't I think of that_?

" Clary says hi." He says quietly.

I take his phone from his hand and begin to read the texts

(**Jon**/ _Clary_)

**Hey there Clare Bear. How are ya feeling?**

_Hey! Wait shouldn't you be in school?_

**Who says I'm not? Besides, that's not important, how are you?**

_… Fine I guess. I'm tired from the chemo and it makes everything hurt for a while, but other that that just dandy!_

**You know I can technically skip school if you need me for ANYTHING.**

_Well you know what I could use?_

**What?**

_Taki's._

**Haha. Very funny. Why don't you ask your boyfriend?**

_Wait? He's in your class?_

**Yup.**

_Well tell him I say, Hi! I love you3 3 and don't forget to say the hearts (:_

**Yeah sure…**

"Jooooon." I whisper behind me, "You forgot to say the hearts." I smirk.

He slaps the back of my head, hard might I add, and takes his phone from me and starts to text Clary again.

It's nice to know that she's doing ok but that doesn't make me want to see her less. These next to classes can't go by fast enough…

* * *

As we finally finish off my last period, football, I can't get to the locker room fast enough. I rush to clean up and get ready and then run to my car before the final bell even rings. I guess since I'm technically early I can make a quick pit stop…

* * *

When I walk into the hospital, I choose to hide the bag inside of my backpack. I walk down the hallways toward Clary's room and when I walk in there's nobody there.

Wait…what?

"She's in the art room." I hear Robert say from behind me, making me jump out of my skin.

"Jesus." I whisper half to myself, turning around to see my dad.

"Follow me." He says, walking away, with me following.

We go through the halls in silence until he stops at a door. I smile a little at him with anticipation, he nods and I open the door to see a room filled to the brim with art supplies, sitting at a table I see Clary, totally oblivious to everything happening around her with her headphones in her ears and an IV connected to her.

"I guess now we're even." I hear Robert say, probably to himself. I look back at him with an eyebrow raised. He just gives me a half smile and closes the door as he walks out.

I quietly go over to Clary from behind. I see she's drawing a picture that Izzy had taken of us from her phone. We were at Taki's; Clay and I were sharing a smoothie when we bumped heads. When Izzy took the picture we were both smiling at each other while drinking the smoothie from two straws.

Her drawing looks almost exactly like the picture, if not better. And I know nothing about drawing. I decide to break my silence by wrapping my arms around her waist which seems to startles her a little. I pick her up, sitting down on the stool she was sitting on, then putting her on my lap.

"Hey beautiful." I say to her, which causes her pale cheeks to turn pink. She leans into me giving me a kiss on the lips that leaves me wanting more but I decide not to push.

"Hey." She says, taking out her ear buds, I hear the song Maps by Maroon 5 playing in them. "How was school?" she asks me smiling.

"Nothing special." I say playing with her hair. "Everybody's heard about what happened by now." I say, looking at her face closely as I say those words.

She doesn't say anything at first, just sighs and leans into my chest, she looks tired. I rub her back soothingly as we sit there.

"Well you know what they say." I say finally.

"What?" she asks looking at me.

"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water."

She smiles at this with an amused look on her face.

"What?" I say

"Where did you get that from?" She asks me

"How dare you question the poetic superiority I have against you." I scoff playfully.

She raises an eyebrow at looking just as playful.

"Okay I got it from Izzy." I give in.

She lets out a giggle that can't help but make you happy. "That's what I thought." She says, resting her head back down on my chest.

"I have something for you." I whisper.

"Really?" She asks, not bothering to look up at me.

"Come on." I say getting off of the stool with her. She takes her drawing and we walk hand in hand back to her room.

When we get to her room she takes her IV from out of her wrist. I lift her onto her bed and then go to retrieve the food from my backpack. When she see's the Taki's bag her eyes light up a little more and she offers a small smile.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" She says, making my heart melt a little. She pulls me over to give me another long kiss. Maybe I should bring her food more often…

I unpack the bag that is filled with her favorite, coconut pancakes. We both sit on the bed cross-legged as we stuff our faces with pancakes and talk. Not about cancer, or her dad; just random things.

I think it makes us both feel we're under more normal circumstances at that moment. Which is all I could ever wish for.

* * *

Once we finish eating, laughing and having a good time together, we're sucked back into the real world. A nurse comes in to give Clary her next smaller round of chemo to prep her for her upcoming stem cell transplant. We both watch as the nurse fills the IV bag with medicine. Clary gives me a worried look before I grab her hand.

"Ready, honey?" The nurse asks. She doesn't say anything, just keeps her eyes closed tight and nods.

The nurse sanitizes an area on her forearm and the plunges the needle into her skin. She lets out a small moan that makes my heart break. She grabs my hand tighter as the nurse wraps her arm so the needle doesn't fall out.

"All done." She says sympathetically.

Clary's eyes are still closed but I notice a single tear run down her cheek that I wipe away.

"Does it hurt?" I ask her worried, rubbing small circles into her hand.

She doesn't say anything, just breathes in through her nose and out her mouth.

"It will for a second." The nurse answers for me. " A strong substance is entering her body. At first it'll feel like two sides fighting in her bloodstream but after a couple of minutes it'll go away. I know Clary though, from the last time she was here, and she's a fighter." The lady says, reassuring me before beginning to walk out.

She was right, after a second Clary opens her eyes and she looks even more exhausted than before. She lays down on my chest looking more comfortable. I think she's sleeping until she says with her eyes closed,

"Thank you."

"For what?" I ask, confused.

"You didn't have to do this." She starts, "You didn't have to come visit me here and sleep over here with me and bring food. You didn't have to like me… but yet, you do. And I can't understand why you chose me. You could break up with me and choose any girl in the _world _you want. Don't get me wrong, I want you; but I don't know why I deserve you."

"Clary, now that I have you, I'm not letting you go. I chose you and _I_ was lucky enough that you chose me. Whenever I'm around you I can't help but smile and be happy. I don't even understand what I feel, I'm whole when I'm around you, you're a piece of me I simply can't live without, Clary I love you so much. _You_ didn't have to forgive me for all those times I was a douche to you, _You_ didn't have to stay with me at Max's remembrance, _You_ didn't have to sing tat beautiful song in honor of him. If anything I don't deserve _you_." I say honestly.

Clary looks at me through sleepy eyes. God she's beautiful.

" I don't know what to say to that." She says.

"Don't say anything." I say, "Just sleep, okay?" I whisper.

She nods and lays her head back down, closing her eyes.

A couple of minutes later, I can tell Clary's asleep by the way her breathing has evened out. She looks so peaceful and innocent. The room is so calm and serene at the moment that I feel myself falling asleep.

Right before my eyes close totally the door literally slams open startling Clary out of her sleep, her arm jerks in the process pulling on the needle embedded in her skin, she give a small whimper from the pain it causes.

" I told you she was asleep." I hear Maia say from the door.

"Yeah, well not much I could've done with my hands this full." Jordan says next to her at the door.

Maia notices Clary waking up and goes to her on the side of the bed. Jordan walks into the room rolling his eyes, his hands are full of stuffed animals, chocolate boxes, flowers, balloons and some other things I can't make out. He walks over to the hospital and plops it all on there sighing when his arms are free.

"Jordan, You didn't have to do all this, thank you!" She says, clearly flattered, but still sounding pretty tired.

"It wasn't just me." He started " It was the football team, some of your art class friends and…" He thinks, counting off the people on his fingers, "Oh yeah! Mr. Blackthorn."

Maia and Jordan find two seats and pull them over to the bed we're sitting on to talk.

"How are you feeling Clary?" Maia asks her trying not to sound worried.

"Fine, I guess." She smiles tiredly

As Jordan opens his mouth to say something the door opens again. Izzy and Jon are they're looking at everyone already in the room. When Izzy catches sight of Clary, she immediately runs over to hug her, which worries me a little. As Izzy goes to hug Clary fiercely she almost falls onto the bed. I hear her whimper softly, hugging Izzy back softly.

"Iz, I think that's enough." I say, prying her off of Clary who gives me a grateful look.

She doesn't seem to understand _why _I had to end their hug, so she just pouts and sits in a chair.

Jon goes over to ruffle Clary's hair and then sits down in a chair.

"So, lets go through all this stuff." Jordan says, putting the heap of stuff in the middle of our circle as we begin to sort and talk.

**Clary POV**

I didn't know so many people cared about me until I looked through all of the little things people gave to me. Halfway through sorting the chemo medicine really kicked in so I just watched as everyone sorted while leaning on Jace.

By the end I had obtained 6 stuffed teddy bears, 3 bouquets of flowers, 6 boxes of chocolate covered strawberries (that I let everyone take a box home), a boatload of get well cards and a football that was signed by everyone on the team. There were also a couple of balloons that randomly decided to pop but hey… it's the thought that counts.

As everyone's talking and having a good time, which I try my best to take part in, there's a knock on the door.

We all look at Jordan as if asking if he was expecting anyone else. He shrugs and shakes his head no.

The door opens slowly, at first I don't recognize who it is until the man in scrubs speaks.

" Did someone call for a DOCTOR!" I recognize Magnus's flamboyant voice that second.

"Wait. You're a doctor?" Jace asks.

"Well… no, I'm a nurse but that opening just seemed more fitting." Magnus explains.

"Hey guys!" Alec says at that moment, popping his head into the doorframe.

"ALEC" we all say at the same time. He may be the Lightwood that I've least gotten to know but I still miss him.

"What are you doing here?" Izzy asks going up to hug her brother.

" We get a week off at school because of repairs so I thought why not see you guys. When I heard about Clary I couldn't _not _see her so here I am!" He says.

"How are you feeling Clary?" Alec asks me

Before I can say anything Magnus interrupts making me smile.

"Oooh! I've got this!" He says walking over to my bed.

"Move blondie." He says pushing Jace off of the bed, which makes Izzy laugh.

He starts looking over me saying gibberish that I always hear the nurses saying.

"Lets see. Heart 78 bpm, blood pressure 94 mmHg, respirations 12 breaths per minute…"

I look over at Alec who just shrugs at me, then we all go back to listening to Magnus.

"Lets see your Chemo seems to be entering your blood stream pretty- wait a second." He says holding up my hand gently and then taking a closer look. "Clary have you been messing with this tube?" He asks me in total seriousness.

"No… Why?" I ask sleepily.

"It's infected." He whispers half to himself before he runs out of the room and yells for another nurse.

I don't fully grasp the words he told me until he comes back.

"Wait… What!" I ask starting to hyperventilate.

He starts to hastily unwrap the dressing around my wrist.

"Clary calm down. Breathe." He tells me calmly.

I hear Jon and Jace run over next to Magnus who's too focused to notice.

"What are you doing Magnus?" Jon asks, sounding slightly hostile "That's her chemo."

"Okay first of all, her tube's infected. Look." Magnus says, irritated. We all look down at my forearm that has turned a slight purple hue that makes me feel lightheaded. "Second, you better move if you want me to get this out as quickly as I can."

I'm startled when he says he has to take it out. It hurts like hell to put it in I can't imagine what it feels like to take out an infected one. I look over at Jace desperately who looks torn on whether to leave my side or not, as much as I ant him to hold my hand I know that Magnus won't be able to get it out with him there. Jace moves hesitantly to the other side of the room with everyone else. A nurse rushes in asking what's wrong, Magnus fills her in and they get to work over my forearm.

I feel myself thrashing and sobbing as they try to wiggle out the tube as gently as they can. When it's almost out they stop for a second.

"Clary, We're going to have to just yank it out now, ok? We'll try to do this as quick as we can." Magnus says to me.

I can't say anything over the pain and my uncontrollable sobs. I hear Jon rush over who is quickly pulled back by a defeated Jace, not before I see his despaired face. I thrash as hard as I can, not even knowing why, just knowing I don't want to feel that kind of pain. The nurse who's name I don't know gets onto the bed with me to hold me down. There isn't much I can do then but cry from the immense pain.

"Ready Clary? One, two, three!" He says as he pulls out the tube.

I hear myself let out a shriek from the pain and then curl into a ball of pain. I don't think anything could ever compare to how much that physically hurt. I'm still crying when I feel Jon pick me up and put me on his lap, whispering things into my hair.

When the other nurse comes back in, she's holding another vial of medicine. When She tries to stick the needle in my arm I'm too exhausted to try to jerk away. Jon, though, won't have it. He turns me in his arms so she can't touch me with the needle.

"No, I don't want that to happen to my sister again." He says to them defiantly

"It's morphine." Magnus says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "She'll be in pain all night without it, and we need to get a new IV into her."

Jon looks down at my tear soaked face and then hesitantly turns me so my arm is showing. I feel the pinch of the needle go into my skin and then nothing. I don't notice the needle is out of my arm until I see the nurse in front of me holding it. Suddenly my eyes are _way_ to keep open, the stress of this whole day starts to melt away as I feel a welcome darkness starting to suck me in.

The last thing I see before I go unconscious is Magnus's hands spurting out blue flames, but I know I'm hallucinating by then.

* * *

**AN: Sorry that took so long to post! I've been busy these past couple of days but I hope you guys like this chapter! Comment what you think! I love to hear your opinions because you guys are amazing!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	14. Chapter 14: Court Dates

**Chapter 14: Court Dates**

**Clary POV**

When I wake up the next morning from a peaceful, dreamless sleep I hear faint voices in the hallway. I slowly sit up, making sure not to pull on any of my tubes, and look at the clock that reads 11:30. My room is empty, I feel a pang of disappointment that Jace isn't hear but I also know his father probably told him to go to school.

I'm startled when I hear yelling coming from the hallway right in front of the slightly open door to my room.

"What!? He can't do that!" I recognize my mother's angry voice.

" I'm sorry Mrs. Morg- Jocelyn, I'm just as surprised as you are. But legally, there isn't much we can do but prepare." I hear Dr. Lightwood's familiar voice trying to calm my mom down.

"What about me? I'm legally old enough to take care of her. Can't I counter his argument?" I hear my brother's desperate voice say.

What are they talking about? I don't want to say anything because they'll know I'm listening but I have a feeling this is about _me._

"According to the law, you can't. You aren't the one directly being wronged, Clary is, and she isn't well enough to counter his argument nor is she old enough." Dr. Lightwood says.

"When's the court case?" Luke asks.

"Tomorrow. Until then though, Valentine is not allowed to meet with Clary for legal reasons which is a small plus."

"What?! No! Valentine sends out a lawsuit to take away my daughter and I only have a _day _to prepare?" I hear my mom yell

I can't help but let out a gasp at this. Valentine is going to take me away from my family, my friends… Jace.

I know they hear me from outside the door when there's a prolonged silence. They all walk into my room slowly. My mom's eyes are shiny from unshed tears and Jon looks pretty frustrated.

"He's going to take me away?" I ask them quietly.

Everybody's quiet for a second. Jon's looking at the floor angrily while my mom and Luke are looking at me sympathetically.

"Valentine filed a lawsuit." Dr. Lightwood says finally "He says that since your mother and step father are not home a lot, he would be a more fit parent for you."

"What?" I whisper, "He can't do that! He's the one who left _us_." I start to yell.

"Clary calm down." Dr. Lightwood says to me, but I already too fired up.

"We're perfectly fine when you guys are gone. He doesn't need to take care of us, I mean, it's not like he will, but Jon can drive, I can cook it's not like you guys don't care about us. You're just busy."

"It's just you." Jon says quietly, not even looking at me.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Clary, If Valentine wins I'm not coming with you. I'm technically an adult so he can't legally take me." He says trying to hold in his anger.

This can't be happening. If I know one thing I know I can't do this without Jon. I feel myself starting to panic.

"No. No Jon. _Please _I can't do this without you." Hot tears start to prickle the back of my eyes.

Jon comes over to my bed and lets me hug him as best I can with my tubes connected to my arms.

"I can't lose you Jon." I whisper to him, my voice wavering.

"I can't lose you either Clare."

I spare a look at my mother who has silent tears falling down her face.

"I hate him." I say to Jon with as much venom I can muster.

"I do too, Clare but you have to promise me something okay?" He asks me. I nod.

"If Valentine does win-"

"Don't say that." I stop him, not wanting to hear the worst-case scenario.

"Just hear me out." he says gently "Remember when we were younger before he left?" He asks me and I nod again.

"Valentine's evil Clary. If there's one thing he cares about in this world it's you, but not for the right reasons. If he wins there is no way in hell I'll let you go that easily, and I'm sure Jace will feel the same. Just please don't give into him." He pleads with me.

"You sound like he's already won." I say simply, feeling scared.

Jon doesn't say anything, we both just sit there lost in or thoughts for a while.

* * *

Jon decides to skip school today, which I'm grateful for since this might be the last time I see him. We try our best to distract each other throughout the day before we have to tell everyone else. I can tell it never fully leaves our heads throughout the day.

I guess one of the good things about a children's hospital (Yes, I'm 16 but I'm still considered a child) is there's usually a lot to do. The nurse happened to have a spare X Box that kept us occupied by playing round after round of Call of Duty. By 3:00 it was time for another round chemo.

"Time for your medicine Clary." The nurse says as she walks in.

I look over at Jon who looks worried and tense, I hate chemo but I can't let him see that, he has enough on his plate right now.

"You were probably getting tired of losing anyways." I say, crawling higher up on the bed toward my IV the nurse is setting up.

He gives me a small smile; he looks over at the nurse who looks ready to give me the IV. I feel the nurse take my arm and I feel my breath hitch.

"Losing?! I let you win!" He says trying to distract me.

"Sure you di-" I stop when I feel the pain of the medicine entering my body, I can't talk for a second, I only close my eyes and focus on my breathing.

_In. out. In. out._

When the pain starts to recede the medicine leaves me feeling tired. The nurse is still there checking all of my vitals.

"Is that ok honey? Does anything hurt." She asks me kindly. I shake my head no.

"Okay then. Just yell at me if you need anything." I nod, resting my head on the bed.

"Aww poor baby." She says sympathetically to Jon before she walks out of the door "This medicine really takes it out of you."

"What time is it?" I ask Jon, who's sitting in a chair next to my bed.

"3:30" I hear a voice say before Jon even has time to look at his phone. I turn my head to see Jace standing there, his hair still slightly wet from cleaning up after practice.

"Hey." I say quietly, my voice not wanting to go any higher.

"Hey." He says smiling back at me, he walks over to me and gives me a quick kiss, I'm too tired to enjoy it though.

"Hey can I talk to you?" Jon asks him. Jace looks over at me and then nods.

They don't leave the room, they just walk to the other end so I'm out of earshot. Through sleepy eyes Jon looks slightly nervous to tell his best friend the news. All I can see is Jon's mouth and then Jace tensing up, Jon keeps talking until Jace slams his fist in the wall next to him, which startles me. Both Jace and Jon look over in my direction after that to see me wide eyed and confused. Jace comes over to me looking desperate, he lifts me up so I'm sitting on his lap but also so I can lean into his chest.

"Are you scared?" He asks me after a second.

"Yeah." I say simply "I don't want to have to live with him again."

"I won't let that happen." I hear him whisper to me.

We're both quiet for a second, comfortable just being with each other.

"Will you come with me tomorrow? Even though, you know it's Friday." I ask him, hoping he says yes.

"Of course." He says, giving me a kiss on the top of my head.

Jace starts to rub circles in my back and I begin sinking into his touch and I feel my eyes begin to droop. I try to shake off my sleepiness; I want to spend time with my boyfriend.

"Stop." I say drowsily at him.

"Stop what?" He asks me with a small bit of humor in his voice.

"Stop trying to get me to sleep, I actually want to spend quality time with you." I tell him.

"Well you look exhausted. Besides, I'll be here when you wake up." He says, laying us both down on the bed so I'm still laying on his chest.

"Promise?" I ask him, starting to fall asleep again when he begins to rub circles in my back.

"Promise." He says simply.

"I love you Jace." I say planting a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you too Clary." Is the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.

* * *

I really must've been exhausted. The next time I wake up I'm being shaken awake by Jon. When I turn on my side the clock read 7:30 a.m.

"Clary, we need to get dressed for court." He tells me.

I look at him sadly, remembering today's the day that decides how the rest of my life is going to be. I look around the room disappointed that Jace still isn't next to me. I take out a mint green sundress from my suitcase and go to the bathroom to clean up and change.

When I come back out of the bathroom Dr. Lightwood is there with a nurse waiting for me. They run some tests on my vitals my blood level, and my cancer level then deem me well enough to leave the hospital for a little while. As the nurse finishes drawing some of my blood I see Jace walk in.

He looks amazing in a pair of jeans and a long sleeve white shirt he's rolled up to his elbows. When I see him my mood immediately lightens. I run over to him, when I get close to him he lifts me up and gives me a twirl before kissing me on the lips.

"Hey there handsome" I say when he puts me down.

" Wow Clary you look beautiful." He says with awed eyes looking at me that make me blush.

"Are you two ready?" I hear my mom say from the door.

I look at Jace who grabs my hand relieving some of my stress. I look at my mom and nod and we all walk toward the car driving us to the courthouse. I sit next to Jace on the ride there. We sit there in the back seat enjoying each other's company.

It might be the last time we ever will.

* * *

When we reach the courthouse everyone files out of the car, Jace helps me out last . When we walk toward our assigned courtroom we all notice Valentine waiting outside of the door with a policeman.

"There she is!" Valentine says walking over to hug me. I don't have the energy to fight him, so I just stand there with his arms wrapped around me. That is, until Jace butts in on this 'touching' moment pulling me away from him. I give him a grateful in which he snakes his arm around my waist.

"Would you like to just come with me? Or do you still want to go through all of these proceedings?" He asks me.

"You haven't won Valentine." Jon chimes in violently.

"Yet." He replies calmly, "And when I do Clarissa, we're going to have some fun." He winks before turning on his heel.

When I look at Jace he looks ready to pounce at him. I feel his arm tighten around my waist to the point where it hurts.

"Jace." I say in a breathy voice tapping on him.

He breaks out of his reverie and immediately loosens his grip looking sorry. Before he can say anything the court doors open and there is another policeman there holding the door open.

" The judge will see you now." He says simply and we all walk in.

* * *

The court hearing goes longer than we all expect. There is constant questioning from either side. Statements being heard from Me, Jon, Mom, Luke and even Jace. Unfortunately though, he has to sit next to Dr. Lightwood in the audience since he isn't family, which makes me feel more stressed.

After 4 hours of being here I feel tired, stressed and just weak all over. When I catch a glimpse of myself in one of the tinted windows I see my painfully pale face, and my red hair being the only color I have. I lay my head down on the table I've been sitting at next to Jon this entire time, not wanting to listen to the judge draw on about what she's heard about so far.

* * *

"Clary." I hear Jon say touching my back after I don't know how long. I lift my head up slowly to look at the room feeling slightly dizzy.

"Ms. Morgenstern, are you okay to come up to the podium and speak."

I look over at Jon who looks just as stressed as I am.

I nod at the judge and slowly start to walk up to the podium, hoping that by the time I get there my dizziness will wash away.

As I get to the podium I look around the room at all of the staring faces getting lost in them.

"Ms. Morgenstern." The judge says, looking at me warily.

"I'm sorry," I say to her " could you repeat the question?" I ask her.

As she repeats the question, I once again don't hear, I spare a look at Valentine who has a malicious look on his face that makes me feel even sicker.

"Honey, are you okay?" The judge asks me, looking at me intently through her glasses.

When I don't answer immediately she slams her gavel on her desk and calls for a 15 minute break.

A police officer helps me off of the raised podium, I thank him and start to walk toward Jace.

As I walk down the step my foot gets caught and I trip. Jace, as always, is there to catch me, which I'm grateful for. He looks me up and down before letting go of me. I give him a kiss on the lips he returns.

"From my point of view you guys seem to be winning." He says trying to be optimistic.

"I really hope you're right." I say to him desperately, feeling sick at the thought of having to lose Jace.

"Hey." He says, wiping away a stray tear I didn't know I had shed "It's all going to be okay, I'm right here for you." He finishes, guiding us both to a bench to sit on.

"So," I say trying to change the subject "How about that hospital food?" I finish lightheartedly.

Jace laughs at this, which makes me smile "Stick to art, Morgenstern."

I mock shock and elbow him in the ribs causing him to laugh harder. I lean into his shoulder laughing a little myself. I really don't want to lose him.

We sit there a little longer until the judge bangs her gavel once more to make her final decision. Jace and I both stand up, he gives me a quick kiss on the top of my head and offers me a small smile before he walks back to his seat and I go back up to the defendant's stand with my brother and parents. When I get there I grab my brothers hand tightly as the judge begins to talk.

"In the case of Valentine Morgenstern vs. Jocelyn Morgenstern, we find the case in favor of the plaintiff, Valentine Morgenstern. Who, therefore, takes custody over said child, Clarissa Morgenstern until further notice. Court adjourned." She says, banging her gavel and returning back to her office.

I feel my heart sink at the words. I hear my mother crying behind me and I feel Jon's hand tighten on mine. I look up at him with eyes filled with unshed tears.

"I never thought it would end like this." I say, my voice wavering.

Jon pulls me in for a hug trying to comfort me but the only thing I can think about is going to Jace, with one more tight squeeze, Jon seems to understand. He lets go of me; I jump over the short wall separating the audience from the actual court area and run to Jace. He looks just as crushed as I am, he immediately embraces me lifting me off of my feet for a second. I cry into his shirt not ever wanting to leave him, feeling more scared then ever that I'll have to face the unknown alone.

Way to soon I feel myself being pulled away from Jace by none other than Valentine.

"No. No!" I sob as Valentine grabs my arm and begins to pull me away. When I run back to Jace, escaping his grasp, he takes me by the waist and picks me up.

Jace starts to walk after us until a security guard stops him. Not knowing why, I still reach out for Jace who looks as desperate to reach me as I to him. I sob his name as I'm carried out of the court room.

"Oh shut up!" Valentine says as get to the hallway.

I'm too defeated to fight him at the moment so I just let him throw me into his car. When I look out of the window I se Jace running through the doors, with the door locked I know there's nothing I can do but take one last look at the love of my life.

As the car speeds away, jerking me back a little; I see Jace in the middle of the street on his knees watching the car drive away until I can't see him anymore.

So I cry.

* * *

**AN: Another chapter finished! I really hope you guys liked it! I can honestly say that I have no idea to what will happen in the next chapter but I SHALL GET THROUGH THIS WRITER"S BLOCK! Anyhoo! Tell me what you guys think about this chapter I love to hear your feedback!**

**ALSO! Comment 'Terrible Things' on my Instagram page so I know who my readers are! You can find me on IG erin_g_ !**

**I love all of you guys you're amazing!**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	15. Chapter 15: Bittersweet Goodbyes

**Chapter 15: Bittersweet Goodbyes**

**JACE POV**

I don't know how long I sit there on the road until I realize that they have to be going back to the hospital. I get up immediately to see Jon trying to comfort his mom, I walk over to my car and jump over the open roof to the driver's seat.

"Jon! Come on or we'll miss them!" I yell at him, He turns to me with defiance in his eyes and runs over to my car after saying something to Jocelyn. He jumps over to the passenger and I speed away right as he gets in.

"Dude it's like 7 in the morning, nobody's going to be on the road. Speed up!" he tells me.

"Well excuse me for trying to obey basic traffic laws." I yell back sarcastically.

He is right though, In less than 10 seconds I speed up the car from 60 to 110 mph. There are a couple of cars on the road that angrily honk at us but that's definitely the least of my problems right now. Within a couple of minutes we catch up to Valentine's car. I can see Clary fiery red hair blowing in the wind of the open top car.

She must've noticed us through a rearview mirror because when she looks back her eyes go wide and she stands up on her knees to get a better sight of us.

I look over at Jon "Are we really going to try to do this?" I ask.

"Hell yeah." He says looking just as motivated as I am.

As I start to catch up to the car I hear a click next to me. I do a double take when I see what Jon's holding.

"WHAT THE HELL JON?!" I say, trying to keep my eyes on the road but that's kind of hard when you best friend is loading a gun you didn't know he had.

"What?" He asks curiously.

"Why do you have a _gun_?" I ask him.

"For this." He says, pointing the gun and shooting at Valentine's car.

Clary ducks down immediately, when she doesn't hear anymore shots she slowly comes back up.

"You know we should probably get Clary out of the car before we attempt to BLOW IT UP" I say to him.

He doesn't say anything, I sigh

"Here take the wheel." We awkwardly switch spaces while the car is going at break-neck speed until I'm in the shotgun seat… literally.

I can see Clary's desperate face the closer we get to the car. When we're finally side by side I start to reach out for her. She grabs my hands slowly.

"You came for me." She yells through the wind.

"I told you I'd never leave you." I yell back.

As she goes to take my other hand Clary's yanked back into the car by her hair causing her to scream in pain and fall back.

"CLARY!" I yell to her, desperately wanting her to sit up.

She doesn't move this time.

Red hot rage bubbles up inside of me and I feel myself reaching for the gun. I can still see Valentine laughing manically in the front seat fueling my anger even more.

Valentine's smile is still large when point the barrel at his head. I feel my finger pull down on the trigger but at the last minute my hand is pulled upward so the bullet shoots into the sky.

"We should probably get Clary out of the car before blowing his brains out!" Jon says, copying my words from earlier.

I feel my heart hitch into my throat as I see Valentine's car speed away with Clary in it.

" Dammit Jon, can't you go any faster." I yell at him.

"Don't you think he might be at least a little bit right?" He says, after a second.

I look at him incredulously.

"How could you possibly think that after he just practically kidnapped your _sister_?" I say to him, feeling slightly angry.

He doesn't say anything after that, just continues to drive toward the hospital where I'm praying they'll be…

* * *

When we speed up to the hospital I jump out of the car before it even stops fully. I dash through the doors to the cancer wing and start to run towards Clary's room until I'm stopped by a nurse.

"Excuse me sir, you need to sign in first." I sigh loudly and hastily write my name, the date and time on the clipboard.

"Who are you here to see?" She asks me while giving a questioning look.

"Clarissa Morgenstern." I say, running my hand through my hair out of frustration.

" I'm sorry… Jace." She says, looking out of the clipboard "But she's currently being checked out."

"What?!" I say loudly, bringing unwanted attention from people waiting in the lobby.

" She might still be here but she's leaving soon." She says, sounding exasperated

Before another word comes out of her mouth I make a dash to her room. When I get there the door is locked.

You can't lock a hospital door.

I try my best to listen through the door when I hear a loud _thump._

"Now you listen to me." I hear Valentine say in a rushed whisper. "Once we walk through that door you're _mine_. Nothing ever happened in here no matter what anyone says, you got that you little bitch?"

Right then all I want to do is break the thin door down and kill Valentine myself for saying those words to Clary.

"I said _are we clear?_" I hear him say with even more venom this time.

I feel my heart break into a million pieces when I hear her small whimper from the other side of the door. When they both walk out of the door, Valentine holding her duffel bag, I'm already there slamming: Slamming Valentine into the wall and holding him by his shirt. I look over at Clary to see her trying to hide a cut on her forehead that only fuels my aggressive anger.

"What the hell did you do to her?" I ask in a hostile whisper, trying not to attract too much attention.

"What could you possibly mean?" He asks, a sly, sarcastic smile growing on his face.

"I think you know exactly what I mean, look at her." I say, pushing him harder into the wall.

" I'm afraid I don't." He says feigning innocence, "Clary, did I do anything to you?" He asks her, a hint of warning in his voice.

She keeps her head down and mumbles something unintelligible.

"What was that?" He says with anger in his voice.

She looks up and that's when I see a purple bruise growing on her chin, her eyes are wild with a mixture of fear, emptiness, and anxiousness making my heart beat faster.

"n..no." She says, her voice trembling.

"No _what?_" He asks

"No… father." She says, saying 'father' seeming to push her over the edge.

I let Valentine go from my grasp and walk over to Clary, gently lifting her face up. Her eyes are empty and the blood from her cut is making its way down her face. I try my best to wipe away the slow trickles without her.

"Don't go with him Clary." I say pleadingly.

She from me to Valentine and then back to me.

"I can't." She whispers, obviously choosing her words carefully, her eyes turn glossy for a second until she closes her eyes, composing herself.

"Come on Clarissa." He says, to her starting to walk away.

We both barely register his words as we're both staring at each other, green meeting gold. I take in every last detail of my angel without wings; how her freckles perfectly frame her face, the way her emerald green eyes can suck you in, her soft fiery red hair.

"Clarissa!" He say sharper to her.

Clary flinches and begins to reluctantly walk away, taking her hands from mine. She gives me one last, sad look before Valentine takes her by her shirt and pushes her which causes her to trip and fall to the ground.

No. I can't just watch as she gets pushed around by her father. I run up to Valentine so he hits the ground hard. I'm on top of him holding him by his shirt.

"Doesn't feel too good does it?" I ask him sarcastically.

I look over at who's struggling to get up, he takes the opportunity of me being distracted to punch me square in the face…hard. There's blood blooming in my mouth, I spit it out to the side before going in to pummel him. I get in two good punches before he stands up running me into a wall, punching me in the stomach.

"Hey!" I barely register Clary say before trying to break up the fight resulting in her getting elbowed square in the stomach by Valentine.

I see Clary fall to the ground with a whimper. All I want to do is go over to her but I know Valentine would never let that happen. So I have to end this fight now.

_Fake him out. Your attacker will always fall for this. _I remember my own dad telling me too many years ago.

As I'm cocking my arm back for the surprise attack I feel myself being pulled backwards. I look back about to hit whoever it is when I see Robert holding me back Valentine is being pulled back, a smug smile still on his bloody face, by another doctor.

I try to get out of Robert's hard hold, I don't know if it's either to finish the fight I started or to go to Clary.

Clary!

I look over at her to see her crying on the ground with a nurse next to her. It only makes me feel worse that this is all my fault.

"Clary." I say, trying to get her attention. She looks at me defeated, her face still contorted from the pain. "Clary, I'm sorry. I love you." I whisper, not sure if she even hears me through all of the chaos starting to ensue in the hallway.

"Jace. My office. Now." Robert says sternly, pushing me away from everything.

I give up at some point on the way to his office. By the time I get there I can only here the rushed talking going on in the hallway.

I always thought if this scenario did happen, _somehow_ she would come back to me.

I never thought it would end like this.

**CLARY POV**

Everything happens so fast. From Valentine beating me in the hospital room, to the fight in the hallway. I have no time to really absorb it until I hear Valentine next to me as I'm on the floor in pain he inflicted on me.

"Clary, honey are you okay baby?" I hear him say caringly, loud enough for all the doctors and nurses around to hear.

Bullshit.

I open my eyes to look around at the scene around me. Valentines face is bruised and blooded from the fight between him and Jace.

Jace!

I feel myself shoot up until I feel the stabbing pain in my stomach that stops me from moving any further.

"Hey take it easy." I hear the nurse next to me say, checking me up and down.

"Where's Jace?" I say, my voice not going above a whisper, to anyone listening while looking around for him.

"Who?" The nurse asks.

"Her _boyfriend_." Valentine says, disgust clear in his voice. "The one who started this whole scrabble." He finishes playing victim.

"We apologize for any inconvenience sir, we can re- admit her into a hospital room if you'd like." One of the doctors offers.

"No. We were just leaving and taking our buisness elsewhere, not with that…hooligan running through your hospital." He says sounding business-like.

"But sir, Clary here isn't well enough to go home. Her main cancer doctor is _here_ in _this_ hospital. Besides we're just about to give her her stem cell transplant-"

"Well than transfer all of her paperwork and whatnot to the hospital we're relocating her. I'm her guardian now so what I say goes is that clear?"

"But sir-"

"_I said is that clear?_"

The doctor seems slightly annoyed but reluctantly agrees.

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now we'll just be on our way." Valentine says, roughly pulling me up from the ground and basically dragging me along with him. With another look back I see the hesitant and sympathetic looks from the doctors and nurses that I leave behind.

When we reach the parking lot to Valentine he pushes me into the back seat and then goes to drivers seat. At first he doesn't start the car, just glares at the backseat towards me.

"_Never_ pull a stunt like that again." He yells.

"What do you mean?" I ask him, clearly confused.

"Oh you know damn well. You told your little boy toy didn't you?"

"It probably wasn't that hard to figure out." I talk back, not thinking.

This seems to piss him off even more.

" You're just like your mother. The hair, the eyes, the bitchy attitude. The only difference is you're not even pretty. You're as good as dead to everyone around you. The only thing from just abandoning you is their pity. When you die, that little _boyfriend _of yours won't have a problem finding someone else. You think your special. Well as your father I'm here to give you a reality check you little whore, you're not; you're too weak for earth. You have a one way ticket to hell when you're outta here, I mean why else would you have been born with a disease like this?" He says every word crisply to me before starting the car and driving away.

I lay my head on the cool window glass letting the words he just said to me sink in and multiply the already intense pain. When we reach the hospital around an hour later, We pull up to the emergency wing.

"Watch what you say." He warns me before getting out to talk to the EMTs. I'm immediately taken from the car into the arms or a nurse and brought to a hospital room.

I'm hooked up to an IV filled with god knows what and my injuries are patched up. After being questioned on how I hurt myself so bad, to which I said I tripped which I'm positive they didn't believe, I'm left alone. I'm too afraid and exhausted to get out of the bed, after around an hour and a half though, I take my chances opening the door. There's no one outside in the hallway.

I decide to wander around the hospital. I'm numb and my heart hurt from all of todays events, I'm not sure yet how I'm going to react to losing everything in just a few short hours.

My mom, Luke, Isabelle, Jon… Jace.

I swallow hard and push those thoughts to the back of my head and continue to wander until I find a room that interests me.

I walk in to see children's instruments; xylophones, toy guitars, and other little things scattered around a colorful carpet and then a grand piano on the other side with other instruments behind it.

I slowly walk up to the instrument, taking care to open it gently.

I pretend Jace is there with me, sitting on the piano bench. I test a couple of the keys to find it in tune. Being alone I decide to pretend as if everything is normal.

I sing.

It started out as a feeling

Which then grew into a hope

Which then turned into a quiet thought

Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder

'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back when you call me

No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing

Doesn't mean it's never been this way before

All you can do is try to know who your friends are

As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over

No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning

It's just a feeling and no one knows yet

But just because they can't feel it too

Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger

'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back when they call you

No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when they call you

No need to say goodbye

As I finish I feel silent tears rolling down my cheeks. It's as if Jace is here with me now. It's as If I can just hear him

_I love you, Clary._

I love you too, Jace.

* * *

**AN: FEELS. This is one of my favorite songs its called The Call by Regina Spektor I highly recommend listening to it if you guys have time! Tell me if you guys like this chapter as always I love hearing your reviews you guys are so sweet I love ya'll!**

**Also as always Comment 'Terrible Things' on my Instagram page so I know who my readers are! You can find me on IG erin_g_ !**

**You guys are so amazing!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	16. Chapter 16: Land of Terrible Things

**Chapter 16: The Land of Terrible Things**

**CLARY POV**

It would be impossible to describe the hell I endured over the next two weeks.

If chemotherapy was enough already, I had no contacts at all to _anyone_ other than the doctors and Valentine. There are countless days where Valentine will spend all day torturing me with his words, with anything punch or slap he can secretly inflict on me.

But I've now know there are worse things than that.

Today is about the same. I wake up feeling sore from the medicine and numb from his words. I look around to find I'm finally alone… at least for a second. I slowly walk over to the bathroom to see the damage.

I close the door behind me and look in the mirror. I see the same pathetic that I've seen these past 14 days. Pale, worn out, ugly. I lift up my shirt to see a huge dark purple bruise on my side.

I don't cry as much anymore, or at least I try hard not to. I go through every day trying to block out the hurtful words my own_ father_ will yell at me. I do whatever it takes to not think about Jace or Jon or anyone else I care about. My life now consists of sleeping through chemo 8 hours a day and then sleeping some more and sitting in bed thinking about how much longer until the stupid disease kills me.

As I walk out of the bathroom wearing a clean pair of leggings and a sweatshirt I see Valentine waiting for me.

I take a deep, shaky breath and wait for him to bombard me. After a second though, nothing happens. He has an annoyed, almost angry look on his face. That's when I notice the doctor staring back and forth at us questioningly. He shrugs and begins to speak.

"Clary I have some good news for you." Dr. Rockwell, my new doctor says excitedly. "You're finished with chemo until further notice. Which will mean we wont see you back here until your stem cell transplant."

I raise my eyebrows at the last part. Not sure if I should feel happy or scared.

"You mean I'm going home?" I ask quietly.

"Yes. With me." Valentine chimes in maliciously.

I feel my heart drop. I'd rather dump meat juice all over me and dive into shark infested waters than spend a night with him.

"That's right!" The doctor says cheerfully, not registering the awkward tension between us " So as of Monday, you'll be back into your classes at," He looks at his clipboard to see the school name "Alicante High. Your familiar with Simon Lewis right?" He asks me

I give a short nod.

" He'll be there to get you back into the swing of things at school. We've transferred him to your exact schedule since you two have known each other for so long, he was the obvious choice to watch over you at school."

I try not to give too much of a reaction to the news. Inside though, I have a storm of emotions ranging from happiness to sadness to furious to anxiousness.

I'll see Jace again. But that doesn't mean Valentine isn't going to keep a tight leash on me.

I feel like there's a new open gash on my heart. It'll be hard to be in the same vicinity as everyone I love and not be able to get close to them.

"When's the transplant?" I ask in a monotone voice, hiding how scared I am.

The doctor looks at his clipboard for a second "It is… in a little less than a month." He says vaguely.

"Thank you doctor." Valentine butts in, "We'll just be on our way now." He says grabbing my arm as we walk out the door.

When we reach his car he speeds off before I'm even able to get my seatbelt on.

"Fucking police are on my case." He says half to himself. " I was sure taking you would ease them off but _no_. Now I have to take care of your useless ass."

His hands are tight around the steering wheel as he drives. A couple of minutes later a scary smile appears on his face.

"That's okay though. We can have more fun at my house though. Right you little slut? This time though, there's no one there for you to yell to."

I shiver at what he says. Mostly because he's right.

The rest of the car ride is mostly silent aside from the random hurtful comment every now and then.

I guess I fall asleep at some point. I'm woken when I feel myself falling until I'm snapped back up from my seatbelt bringing a slice of pain to my bruised side. Valentine is there holding my car door open which I must've been leaning on.

"Get out we're here." He says.

I slowly take off my seatbelt and get out of the car. Valentine opens the trunk of his car and chucks my heavy duffel bag at me, letting out a laugh when I fall on my butt from the sudden toss.

He doesn't wait for me to get up when he starts walking toward the front door. The house looks normal enough from the outside. When we walk in though, I suffocated by the scent of alcohol and just plain nastiness. The living room has old stains of god knows what on the carpet and every inch of the room is littered with empty bottles, clothes ( some women's clothing), and trash.

"I expect this house spotless when I get home." He says shortly, taking a beer from a coffee table and draining it. He then tosses it at me, causing it to break and leave a couple of scratches on the hand I was trying to catch it with.

"If this place isn't _spotless_. There will be consequences." He says in a hostile voice.

Before walking out of the door.

When I hear the rumble of his car exit the driveway I start to look around. The kitchen is about the same with dishes piled sky high in the sink and the smell of expired food coming from the fridge.

Not knowing how long he'll be out, I get starting cleaning. I mean look at the bright side...

Oh yeah, there isn't one.

**JACE POV**

"Jace! It's time for dinner!" I hear Isabelle yell from probably the staircase.

"Not hungry!" I yell back.

"What? Ugh! I'm just gonna come up there!" she mumbles as the comes up the stairs to my room.

"Jesus put on a shirt!" She says as she comes into my room. I'm only wearing a pair of boxers and sweatpants since I just took a shower.

I don't say anything, just blast my music louder through my ear buds and pretend that she's not there.

This has been most of my days these past two weeks. The first 4 days I didn't even go to school let alone leave my room. It took me 2 days to contact all the hospitals in New York plus some in Pennsylvania, you know, just in case. Nothing I can do though can get my mind off of Clary, especially with that creep taking care of her.

Jon's a total wreck. I don't think I've ever seen my best friend like that. When I was finally forced to go to school, Jon would sit out practices for taking out his anger way too much on the field. Lunch time is always incredibly awkward without Clary, nobody even tries to make conversation aside from school work. Yeah, it's pretty bad.

I really miss her though. Valentine probably took her phone away I realized after leaving 30 missed calls and around 100 texts. We all worry about her but I feel as if a part of me is missing, I can't breath fully until I know she's okay and with me.

"Jace we'll find her. She'll be fine" Isabelle says sitting on my bed next to me.

"You don't know that. For all we know she could be dead in a ditch somewhere. " I say back. I see Izzy cringe a little at my words but I'm too distant to acknowledge.

"By the angel Jace! Don't say that." She pushes me. "What do you think Clary would say about you right now?" She asks me.

"How sexy I am." I say simply, not thinking.

"No, that's what you think about yourself. She'd probably tell you something like 'get off of your lazy ass and do something. Bake a pie, draw a picture, sing a song, anything you asshat!'" She says doing her best Clary voice.

I smile a bit at her attempt to cheer me up.

"Yeah I guess that is what she would say." I say looking down at my hands.

We sit there quietly for a second before she gets up to leave.

"Dinner's ready when you want it." She says at threshold of my door before she closes it.

Izzy's right though. Clary wouldn't want me to just mope around everywhere, she'd want me to not worry about her, which is impossible. But I'll try my best I guess.

I put on a pair of jeans and a shirt, grab my guitar and run down the stairs taking them two at a time.

When I pass the kitchen I see Izzy sitting there with mom eating Chinese food. I run up to the table to steal a takeout box and a fork because let's face it, I'm a 17 year old boy, I'm always hungry.

"I'll see you guys later." I say through a mouthful of noodles.

"Where are you going?" Izzy asks, seeming happy that I'm getting out of the house.

"Out." I say vaguely before walking out of the kitchen to the front door.

I get into my car and start to drive.

When I reach my father's hospital I park and go to the cancer ward to sign in. It feels so familiar coming here. I walk through the hallways and this time turn down a different hallway opposite of Clary's old room toward the playroom for the child patients. I have second thoughts of going in there, I remember always playing with Max here when he was admitted.

I finally enter the room looking kind of awkward since I'm 17 and around 5 feet taller than almost everyone in the room aside from the nurses.

Some of the little kids I recognize from Clary playing with them the first time she was admitted.

"JACE!" I hear a little voice yell. A little 8 year old named Lily with brain cancer.

Other little kids run toward me, probably recognize me from visits with Clary.

"Where's Clary?" One of them ask, bringing a twinge of pain to my heart.

"I don't know." I say simply. They all seem somewhat disappointed "But hey I'm here for you guys." I finish smiling at them, which seems to lift their sad moods immediately.

I sit down on a stool that's way too short for me but I make it work. I take out my guitar and play a few practice cords that seems to intrigue everyone in the room.

_This one's for you Clary…_

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me.

Oh, yesterday came suddenly

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm

When I finish the song I know the nurses listening to it were more moved than the little kids who have probably never heard of the Beatles, but they still liked it.

"You're really good." I hear Lily say, matching the astonished looks of all the little kids.

"Play another!" another kid says excitedly, there are cheers of agreement that come from all the children.

"Any requests?" I ask smiling.

" High School Musical!"

"Teen Beach Movie!"

" Beyoncé!"

I look over at the kid who asks for Beyoncé and chuckle a little.

"How about more Beatles?" I say

there's a chorus of 'Yeah's. As I start to play the chords to Blackbird I look to the back of the room to see my Robert watching from the back with the nurses. I try to keep the surprise off of my face but… when did he get here? He catches my glance then smiles and gives me short nod. I give him a half smile back and continue to play.

It may not take away the pain of not having Clary with me, but somehow, I feel closer than I have in these two weeks to wherever she is.

**CLARY POV**

After cleaning up the living room I'm exhausted and famished. I don't dare to look in the refrigerator, instead I just sit on the couch that I hadn't even known was there until I had cleaned up all of the empty bottles and cans. Aside from the stains I had done a relatively good job.

As soon as I sit on the couch In feel my eyes beginning to drift closed…

I don't know how long I'm asleep for, but the feeling of something being poured onto me wakes me up. I open my eyes to see Valentine, clearly drunk, emptying the contents of his beer can onto me before throwing the can at me.

"You failed Clare Bear." He says tauntingly before chucking me off of the couch and sitting on it himself.

He must be too drunk to torture me today, all he does is step on my leg _hard_ so I can't move while he talks.

"Don't let me catch you slacking off again Clarissa, now get out of my sight." He says letting go of me.

I scramble off of the ground and go up the stairs until I see my duffel bag in front of a tiny room. I open the door to see it not as dirty as the other rooms but extremely small. I must've been some sort of storage room. All that's in there is a small, torn mattress and, surprisingly, my backpack.

Feeling weak I decide to tend to all the scratches I got tomorrow morning. I lay on my mattress going through the contents in my backpack, all of my binders and supplies are still in there but closer to the bottom, crumpled, is the picture I had drawn of Jace and I at the hospital so many weeks ago.

I feel my breath hitch as I gently lay it down on the mattress next to me.

Oh god I miss him.

I fall asleep feeling the gap in my heart only grow until I'm sucked into a welcome darkness.

**JACE POV**

I wake up the next morning not wanting to get out of bed. But I know Maryse wouldn't let me skip another day.

I take my time getting ready. Once I know I can't spend another minute lollygagging I run to my car to pick up Jon. Monday's are always hard but having to go to Clary's house is like pouring a alcohol over a wound everyday just to make sure it still hurts.

I honk my horn when I get to Jon's house to let him know I'm here. I don't get out anymore. Jon comes out lugging his football bag and backpack.

As he's putting his stuff in the trunk, I check my phone to see as usual, a crap ton of notifications from people I don't care about. As I'm about to lock my phone I notice something strange, I'm going through all of the texts I've sent Clary to see they've all been read.

What?

"Something wrong?" Jon asks me when he gets in.

"Yeah, but there isn't really anything either of us can do about it." I say, starting the car and driving off.

The car ride is silent, which two weeks ago would've been unheard of but neither of us even try anymore.

When we reach the football field everybody's already there getting warmed up. Jon and I rush to get suited up and join them.

"Hey." I say as Jon's walking out the door to the field, he turns around "You know you can always talk to me right?"

he looks down and nods giving me a half smile. If losing Clary has hit anyone hard it's definitely Jon.

I walk out after Jon toward the huddle.

"Okay." Jon says in his assertive quarterback voice "This drill we're faking the quarterback. Lewis do not pass to me but to Jace are we clear?"

"yes!" the team says all together.

"All right, Break!" we all get into position as the coach blows the whistle. Simon, instead of passing the ball through his legs throws it to me and I start running, that is, until something catches my eye.

I didn't know I had stopped running until I'm tackled by Augustus who playing for the other team in this practice.

"Dude. What's been with you?" he asks.

I barely register it as I'm locked on the only person sitting on the bleachers.

Clary.

* * *

**AN: I hope you guys like this chapter! The song in this chapter was Yesterday by the Beatles because I love the Beatles! Tell me what you guys thought of the return of Clary! ALSO comment what you guys think is going to happen next! I love hearing your feedback and what you guys think. You guys are amazing!**

**Secondly! School for me is starting in like 8 days so I'm about to get really busy with theater and karate and homework and all that jazz! So I'll try my best to get the chapters out as soon as I can!**

**And as always! ****Comment 'Terrible Things' on my Instagram page so I know who my readers are! You can find me on IG at erin_g_ !**

**I love all my readers!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	17. Chapter 17: School Daze

**Chapter 17: School Daze**

**CLARY POV**

I feel worse the next morning if that's even possible. I've never been a morning person, especially when someone's violently shaking you awake.

I turn on my mattress, groaning while keeping my eyes closed.

"Clary." I hear a familiar rushed whisper say to me.

I open an eye to see Simon there his face over me trying to wake me up. I see his goofy, lovable smile light up his face when I open my eyes. For a second we just sit there looking at each other until I reach up to pull him into a hug.

"Simon." I say quietly. He hugs me back until I flinch a little under his tight grip.

He looks at me worriedly before looking me up and down to see the cuts on my hand. I don't make contact with him but I can tell he's pissed.

"Get dressed, we're getting out of here." He says, going out of my 'room' and turning around so I can change quickly. I put on the first thing I see which is a pair of blue jeans and a cream colored tee shirt. I grab my backpack and go to the small hallway bathroom to do my best to brush my teeth and wrap my injuries.

When I walk out of the bathroom Simon puts a finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet. We silently walk downstairs praying that the floorboards don't creak. As we get downstairs I see Valentine knocked out on the couch snoring. As we're about to walk out the door I decide to leave a note for him saying that Simon picked me up to go to school.

When we walk out the door to Simon's car I finally get the chance to really hug him. I missed him so much, and it also feels good to see a familiar face after two weeks of nothingness.

"I missed you Simon." I say into his chest.

"I missed you too Clary." He says back.

I look up at him to see his goofy smile.

"Hey." He says, wiping a tear off my face " You don't need to cry."

We walk to his car and start to drive to school.

" I don't want to go back there." I say finally after a couple of minutes of silence.

"I don't want you to either. Stay with me." He says, trying not to take his eyes off of the road.

"I can only dream." I say.

We're silent for a couple more minutes until Simon speaks up.

"Clary what did he do to you?" He says in the most serious voice I think I've ever heard from him.

I don't say anything and he seems to drop the topic.

"Remember that time when we were 6 and you came to my house unexpectedly, so you saw Valentine hit me with a frying pan and then beat me up?" I ask him.

His hands tighten on the steering wheel. "I could never forget."

"Kind of like that I guess. It's pretty bad. But I only stay with him for around a month." I say, trying to look on the bright side.

"Why?" He asks

"I go back to the hospital for my stem cell." I say.

" Well until then, we could do like when we were younger, have a sleepover everyday. I mean my mom adores you so I don't think she would mind." He says hopefully, parking the car by the football field.

I smile at all those days in a row I would spend at Simon's house.

" I'll try." I say honestly "but no promises."

He smiles at this "that's all I could ever hope for." He says as he gets out of the car.

"I guess I'll see you on the field." I say, meeting him at the trunk of his car. "Go kill 'em." I say, giving him a light punch to the shoulder.

He chuckles as he walks away. "Whatever you say Morgenstern."

My smile washes away completely when I realize what I'm going to face today.

Starting with Jace and Jon.

As I walk to the bleachers I'm not noticed by any of the team member as they are warming up. I ley out a sigh of relief to see that Jace and Jon are not yet here. I'm not sure whether to be excited or scared. I know for sure I'm not ready for the bombardment of questions from my brother.

But I missed them SO much.

I taken from my thoughts when I see them walk out of the locker room. They aren't talking to each other and I can't see their expressions while they're running toward the huddle in the middle of the field. I see Simon pop his head up giving me a worried look, which I return with a nod.

I hear Jon's powerful voice yell for everyone to break and they get into position.

The ball, surprisingly is passed to Jace who begins to run in an attempt to score a touchdown, that is, until he stops in his tracks when he catches sight of me. He looks confused at first but then his expression changes to surprise and happiness. I flinch a little when a kid from the other team tackles him, he doesn't seem that fazed though he's still staring at me and I'm still staring at him.

I'm sucked out of my gaze when I feel myself being pulled off of the bleachers by Simon. By this time, Jon has noticed my presence and has started running toward the two of us. Simon being a wide receiver is a faster runner. He half pulls, half carries me into the locker room and locking it just as Jon gets to the door.

"LEWIS! I swear to god if you don't open this door right now." He yells at him through the door.

I'm out of breath and need to sit down after that running, I may be discharged from the hospital but I'm not near 100%..

"Sorry Jon! I can't just yet." Simon says simply.

"Simon! That's my _sister_ you have in there. You have to let me see her." He says so desperately it breaks my heart.

Simon doesn't answer, Just turns to me making sure I'm ok.

"Are you ready for this?" He asks me, holding my shoulders, "If I know Jon he's going to bombard you with questions, they're going to be worried."

I think about this for a second, I haven't really planned for how I was going to talk to my brother. I miss him and I love him but I know he's going to be over concerned.

I take a deep breath and as I'm about to tell Simon to let him in we both hear the door on the other side of the locker room open. I hear a gasp before I turn around and I immediately know who it is.

Jace.

I turn around slowly to see him looking back at me. I take in every inch of him like it's the last time I'll ever see him.

Before I know it his walking up to me and takes me into a hug while spinning me around. I snake my arms around his neck as he's holding me to try to keep some of the tension off of my sides.

"I can't believe it." He says finally " I can't wrap my head around that you're here." He finishes looking amazed.

"Will this help you?" I ask right before I kiss him square on the lips.

He seems surprised at first but then kisses me back with more passion then I think I've ever felt him kiss me. My hands wander up to his hair that I start to run my hands through which seems to make him deepen the kiss. I feel my legs turn to jelly, the only thing hold me up is Jace. His hands start to wander down my back to my hips. I feel a stab of pain when he squeezes my sides that causes me to break the kiss.

At first as I break the kiss he looks slightly dazed but immediately shakes it off his face turning concerned. He looks me up and down for a second until he notices my wrapped hand. He gently lifts it up to examine it looking more and more angry.

"Clary, who did this to you." He asks me quietly.

" It doesn't matter, Jace." I say going to hug him when he grabs my waist making me flinch and whimper a little.

Before I can even step back Jace is there pulling up my shirt a little to see the dark purple bruises and red scratches all over my waist and stomach. I hear gasp come from the door once again to see my brother having all the color drained from his face.

I immediately pull down the my shirt that Jace was holding. Jon looks shocked and speechless. I feel locked in place not sure if I should run away or cry right there from my boyfriend and brother seeing new ugly scars.

The bell rings right then… thank god. I run out of the locker room to avoid being questioned any further onto my first period class with Simon.

Throughout all of first period I contemplated in my head what I was going to do. I definitely don't want to go 'home' but I also don't want to have to answer Jon or Jace's questions. I guess I _could _ go to Simon's house but really, what are the odds of Valentine letting me sleepover?

The bell shocks me out of my thoughts, everybody is filing out as I'm putting my notebook and science book in my backpack, Simon is there waiting patiently for me as I finish packing up. As I'm about to walk out I see Jace walk in, he locks eyes with me for a second, I'm not entirely sure if he's angry or sad or whatever the hell he's feeling which is slowly driving me crazy.

I walk out of the room as quickly as I can avoiding the bodies entering the classroom. As I get through the door into the hallway I feel like I'm able to breathe again after that… awkward situation.

I make it through 2nd period feeling a little better thanks to Simon trying his best to distract me and it also helps that Maia is there too who seems to have missed me as much as I'd missed her. When the bell rings though, I'm not sure if I'm ready to be confronted by Jace in history, Simon seems to notice my anxiousness and gives my hand a quick squeeze.

This time, Simon and I are the first to make it into the classroom, which gives the teacher a chance to speak to me.

"Hey Clary, how are you feeling?" He asks me.

"Umm, fine I guess." I say, feeling awkward.

"Well although you've been gone for around a month you really haven't missed much, we've mostly been reviewing and getting ready for our chapter test, these are the notes and should help you." He says, handing me a thick packet of paper. "I don't expect you to finish reviewing all of that by next week's test, but if you fill them out and take a couple of side notes I would be willing to take it as your test grade."

_Total cancer perk._ I think as I nod and walk back to my seat. The classroom is starting to fill up now and I see Jace sitting a space away from Simon… leaving me to sit in between them.

Oh goody.

I walk slowly, knowing that there's no way to delay the inevitable. I take my seat, sitting stiffly, trying not to look at Jace, whose eyes are boring into the side of my face. I finally decide to spare a look over at him, we immediately lock eyes, as he opens his mouth to say something the bell rings cutting him off from whatever it was, I turn back to the teacher writing things on the board and try my best to focus for the next hour.

Halfway through his god awful lecture I feel Simon lightly pass a note to me.

_Jesus this man can talk._ I smile at this and write back,

**How much longer?**

I wait a second as he reads it and responds

_About another 35 minutes. _

I inwardly groan and look at him. He shrugs his shoulders as if saying there's nothing he can do.

I try to drown out the teacher's voice by laying my forehead on the table. My eyes wander around the ground where I see two kids in front of us playing footsie under the table and another secretly checking his phone on his lap. Jace's leg next to mine is bouncing up and down on the ground.

I groan… probably a little too loudly because the class is suddenly silent and all the attention is turned toward me, I slowly bring my head up felling my cheeks turn redder and redder with every passing second.

"Clary are you okay?" The teacher asks.

_This could be my only chance to get out of this class._

"Can… Can I get some water." I say as innocently as I possibly can.

The teacher looks taken aback for a second and then finally answers.

"Of course Clary. Take all the time you need."

I rush out of the room as fast as I can with all of the staring eyes following me.

When I reach the water fountain I take a long drink, when I turn around I almost jump out of my skin to see Jace standing behind me.

"Jesus Jace." I say putting my hand on my beating heart.

"We need to talk." He says taking my hand and walking.

"Well I don't want to talk." I say, defiantly pulling my hand from his.

Jace runs his hand through his hair a couple of times while pacing back and forth in front of me. He finally stops and turns in my direction.

"Clary, I worried about you." He says finally.

"Well don't be, I'm doing fine at Valentines house." I say, not looking him in the eyes when I say it.

"Clary I know when you're lying." He says brushing some stray hairs from my face. "_Please_, I need to know whose doing this to you."

I contemplate telling him for a second, his eyes look hopeful, until I look away biting my lower lip.

"I can't Jace… not yet." I say honestly " I know you're worried but I'm okay, I'm alive."

He seems to think about my answer until he reluctantly nods, I know he isn't going to drop the topic but I'm glad he did for now. All of a sudden he grabs me by the waist and gently pulls me to him.

"I missed you Clary, I missed you so so much." He says into my hair.

I take in his scent before speaking, I missed his usual lemony, woodsy scent.

"I missed you too Jace." I say melting into his chest.

We stand there for I don't know how long enjoying each other's company for the time being.

"We should probably go back to class." I say after a while

"Can't we just stand here for like… ever?" He says

"Unless you want to get run over by a horde of high schoolers."

" Nobody would dare run over all of _this._" He says in his usually cocky voice.

I offer a small laugh before pulling him down the empty hallway with me.

"Come on."

When we reach the door to our classroom right as the bell's about to ring Jace stops me. We move to the side so no one can see us through the window.

" I love you. You know that right?" He says to me simply and slightly desperate.

I only nod and give him a kiss on the lips before walking back into the classroom with him behind me.

The teacher doesn't question either of us just nods and continues on with his lecture.

As we get back to our seat the bell rings seconds later letting all of the kids flood out of the classroom to lunch. I take my time loading everything into my backpack before walking out of the door. Jace is there taking my hand and the door and walking with me down the busy halls.

"This is going to be interesting." I say, over the banging of lockers and yelling voices.

Jace's face turns into a half smile as he looks down at me.

"That's an understatement, especially with Jon there."

I stop in my tracks at the lunchroom entrance. I anxiously look around the already full room second guessing if I _really _need lunch.

"Hey." Jace says, breaking me out of my reverie. "It's okay, I'm right here with you."

I look up at him swallowing hard, before we go in.

We don't sit at the table immediately because we both have to buy lunch. Luckily Valentine didn't mess with the emergency money in my backpack. I go through the line grabbing a sandwich and a bottle of water and then pay and wait for Jace.

I take in a deep breath when I reach the lunch table to see that Jon hasn't made it yet. I sit next to Izzy who is determined to tell me about everything I've missed in my month of absence. I can't really focus on what she's saying because my anxiety over seeing my brother again.

An hand suddenly seizes my arm from behind pulling me from Izzy and everyone else at our lunch table. I turn around to see Jon pulling me from out of the lunchroom, I look back to see Jace contemplating on whether to follow or not.

We make it out of the lunchroom and we keep walking until we reach a hallway of lockers nobody uses.

I go into to hug my brother until he stops me in my tracks.

"Who did this to you?" He asks me totally serious.

"Jon it's not-"

"_Don't._" He starts "tell me it's not important."

I really don't want to have to tell my brother… especially now or his temper will just fly through the roof.

"Who did this to you." He asks me slower.

I cross my arms boldly "Did what?"

"Oh cut the bullshit Clary." He says borderline aggressively, scaring me. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

He goes over to me and pulls my shirt up so we both see the scars and bruises decorating my abdomen.

"Jon!" I yell, my voice cracking from surprise.

" Bro leave her alone." I hear a voice say from down the hall, Jace.

"Jace I have to know." Jon says through his teeth. "This isn't your problem so stay out of it."

"It is my problem if you're treating _my _girlfriend and _your_ sister like that. When she wants to tell us she will."

Jon turns to Jace looking incredibly pissed off. "You don't get it? Do you?"

When Jace doesn't say anything he continues. "I already know who did this, I just need her to say it."

I look down at the ground trying hard not look at either of them. Jon grabs my chin so I'm looking at him.

"Clary just say it, it's not like he can hear us, why are you so against it?!"

My mind keeps flashing back to every horrible word, every punch every cut inflicted on me from him, all the terrible things and I feel hot tears form behind my eyes.

"Valentine." I whisper so softly I can barely hear myself.

"Who?" He says forcefully.

"Valentine!" I half scream before I break apart into sobs.

"Ugh goddammit!" Jon says punching the locker behind me hard.

I think back to how Valentine would do that to me and feel myself fall to the ground hiding myself.

"Jon!" Jace says coming closer toward us. "Cut it out."

"I'll kill him." He says half to himself. He turns back around toward us.

"Where is he?" he asks me

"What?" I say.

"Where are you two living, and I'm sure as hell your not going back there after school."

"I… I don't-"

"Clary I know you know, so why won't you just tell me." He says pulling me up from the ground.

I try to think through how we got to the house but I really wasn't paying a lot of attention.

"I don't know." I say softly and sadly.

He pushes me a little too hard into the lockers making me fall to the ground once again. I don't even try to get up this time I just sit there and watch Jace try to calm him down.

"Jon, not cool." He says, sounding slightly pissed.

" Oh shut up, you barely even know what's going on."

"I know how out of line your acting. And I know I would never treat _my_ sister like shit the way you just did."

He turns around on his heel leaving a guilty looking Jon to help me up. There are silent tears falling down my face. I get up with the help of Jace and we walk back through the hallways.

"Wait here." He says when we get close to the cafeteria.

He walks into the lunchroom and after about a minute comes back with his and my backpack, he hands me my backpack and then he takes my hand.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Home." He says simply, still looking pretty mad.

" Where's that?" I ask, not sure where home is anymore.

Jace gives me a sad look as we walk toward his car.

God I'm going to be in so much trouble when I get back to Valentine's house.

**AN: Sorry that chapter took so long to post! But I hope you guys liked it!**

**Also I probably won't be posting as often, maybe a chapter every 3- 5 days if I'm lucky since school starts on Wednesday… ew. And then after school activities take up the majority of my time but I'm going to try my best because I really love writing for you guys because ya'll are awesome! I love you all!**

** R & R**

** XOXO**

**Erin**


	18. Chapter 18: Even Jon

**Chapter 18: Even Jon**

**JACE POV**

The drive to my house is dead silent and… well… a little awkward.

I've missed my Clary so long and it breaks my heart to see her like this. She just looks so defeated and sad. Especially with the way Jon treated her at school I'm pretty pissed right now.

I know for sure I'm not letting Clary go back to that house of hell tonight even if I have to lock her in a room.

As I drive into the garage of our house and park, Clary doesn't seem to notice that we're here, she looks deep in thought looking out of the window.

"Clary." I say, gently going to touch her shoulder, which makes her flinch at my hand.

She looks at me for a second and seems to relax. I'm starting to notice the dark circles under her eyes and her paler than normal skin.

"We're here." Is all I can say before I can get out, then run over to her side to open the door for her.

She smiles thankfully at me and gets out with her backpack. I take her hand and we walk through my empty house to my room. I don't want to push her for anymore answers right now so I sit down on my bed and pat the space next to me for Clary to sit.

We both sit there silently, Clary leaning on me, until she breaks the silence.

"You know I can't stay." She says sadly.

" So you're going back to Jon and your house?" I say hopefully.

" You know what I mean."

"Well that's unfortunate." I say non-chalantly

"Why?" She asks me, looking me in the eyes.

"Because I'm not letting that happen." I say

She seems to think over this for a second looking hopeful before changing back to looking empty.

" He probably already knows I with you. It's a matter of time until he calls around. I don't want you to get hurt." She says the last part into my shoulder

"Trust me. _I _wont be the one getting hurt." I say through gritting teeth "Besides, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you go back there."

She doesn't answer me and I know she knows I'm right. I drop the subject after that though and start running my hand through her hair.

God I've missed this girl.

As we sit there I gently lay us both down on my bed so we face each other.

I soak in every inch of her while we're laying there. From her emerald green eyes to every freckle on her to the fiery red hair that I love so much.

I feel my heart skip a beat when I see her eyes meet mine. I give her a half smile that she returns to me before going in to kiss me.

Whoa.

I was not expecting that.

That doesn't mean I don't go along with it though. I wrap my arms as gently as I can around Clary before flipping us so she's on top of me to deepen the kiss. I feel myself melting into her touch when she starts running her hands through my hair. Her hands wander onto my chest and back as mine slowly make their way to her hips.

I have know Idea how long we're there for, and I don't want it to either, but our kiss suddenly ends when I feel her flinch on top of me. I stop immediately still half on a high of kissing her but I quickly come down from that when I see the pained look on her face.

Her shirt is half up as she's laying on my bed, giving me a view of her bruises, with her eyes closed tightly. I know better than to ask her if she's okay because… well… she's obviously _not._ But I hate not knowing what's wrong. I want to help her _somehow;_ but right about now I just feel useless.

Her pain starts to subside and as she opens her eyes I see fresh unshed tears glossy over her beautiful emerald eyes. She looks at me helplessly before a single tear falls down her cheek.

"Hey." I say, going to wipe the tear off her face. "What's wrong?"

She looks away for a second trying to gather herself before answering.

"Everything." She says, her voice wavering. "Everything is just so screwed up and I hate how there's nothing I can do about it."

I don't say anything, I just let her lay down on my chest as I feel her cry. I twinge of guilt comes over me as I've never dealt with a girl like this before. Not just because of the cancer and all that jazz.

I've never dealt with a girl I loved so much.

All I want to do is beat the person up who gave her those bruises or find the antidote to cancer or switch places with her. I hate seeing her sad.

As her breathing starts to slow down I think she's sleeping until she looks up at me and speaks up.

"You know," She starts sadly. "I always thought, well, pretty much knew the cancer would eventually kill me. But it that doesn't happen soon I know Valentine will."

I tense up at this, feeling slightly scared of how she's thinking.

"Don't say that." I say " _Please_ Clary If there's one thing for certain it's that I'll never let Valentine lay another hand on you on my watch. And you _won't _die from this. I mean, you've already been discharged from the hospital for a little while which is a great start. And now that your mine Clary, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go."

After saying this I feel as if the mood has changed in the room. Clary still looks sad but there seems to be a small glint in her eyes that's almost happy.

But that's all I could ever wish for.

"Come on." I say to her, grabbing her hand. We walk over to the bathroom connected to my bedroom and I sit her down on the edge of the bathtub **( AN: Divergent inspired! 3) **

"Take your shirt off." I say as gently as I can, but lets face it no matter how you say it it's going to be weird.

She gives me a slightly shocked, slightly confused look.

"Here. To make it less awkward. I guess." I say as I take off my own shirt

Clary sits there looking a little more scared but still staring at my chest.

"Like what you see?" I ask, smirking.

She looks down for a second sadly. I go over to her thinking I probably went a little too far.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, I just want to take a closer look at those bruises." I say.

She nods and lifts up her shirt slightly.

I take out a small wash towel and our first aid kit.

I go back to Clary whose watching me intently from where she's sitting. I turn on the water in the bathtub and wait until it get's warm to put the towel under it.

When I'm about to put the towel on her side she flinches away a little. I go over to her to plant a light kiss on the forehead before I try again. This time she lets me wash her injuries with only a light hiss that escapes her lips every now and then. Halfway through though, Clary takes off her shirt entirely. I try not to let a small gasp/moan escape my lips but hell, I'm a teenage boy.

As I finish I take another washcloth to dry the damp areas and then apply some medicine onto the bruises and then lightly dress some of the worse areas.

When I'm done we both sit there for a second in silence.

"Thank you." She say quietly.

I look over at Clary who's looking at me with a small smile. She scoots closer to me until I place her on my lap.

"I love you." She whispers to me

"What was that?" I ask teasingly, I see another small smile form on her lips.

"I love you." She repeats a little louder

"One more time? I can't hear you." I say with a half smile.

"Jace Lightwood I love you." She almost yells making both of us let off a small laugh.

I slide off of the edge of the bathtub startling Clary a little but ultimately makes her giggle.

" I love you too Clarissa Morgenstern."

Neither of us want to get off of the floor after that so we just sit there and talk and laugh for hours like we'd seen each other only yesterday.

After who knows how long I notice starting to doze off and eventually fall asleep. I scoop her up in my arms and go lay her down under the covers in my bed. I go over to my dresser to see if I've missed anything.

As usual, a bunch of notifications and texts.

There's also almost 50 texts and calls from Jon, which I don't even bother to read, I don't want to have to deal with him just yet.

"Jace?" I hear Clary whisper from my bed, she must be dreaming since her eyes are still closed.

I walk over to the other side of my bed to get in with her, she seems to be reaching for me and when she finally finds me she seems to relax a little.

"I love you." She says drowsily

I give her a light kiss "I love you too Clary." I say back.

Before she totally falls asleep I barely make out what she mumbles.

"You keep me safe from all the terrible things. Even Jon."

I feel myself frown at the last thing she says, I don't want to wake her up though to ask her.

_Even Jon?_

**AN: I'M BAAAAAAAAACK! Sorry that was such a short chapter, I was going to write more but I felt that would be a good place to end it so… yeah. Tell me what you think about this chapter! I love hearing all of you feedback and comment because like always yall are amazing!**

**Also! When does school start for you guys? Is it just me or does my school start incredibly early(August 6)?**

**ANYHOO! I love you all and the next chapter will be out pretty soon, I may or may have not already written it(:**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	19. Chapter 19: Home?

**Chapter 19: Home?**

**JACE POV**

****WARNING: CURSING IN THIS CHAPTER****

The next time I wake up it's to a loud crash shocking both Clary and I awake. Instinctively I reach for Clary to make sure she's okay. When I look up to see what it was I see Jon standing at the threshold of the door he probably slammed open.

"WHAT THE FUCK JACE!?"

Okay so I can understand how it doesn't look good how both Clary and I are in bed together…shirtless, but couldn't he be overreacting a _little_.

I see Izzy behind him mouthing the words 'I tried to stop him'.

"Dude, Jon, calm down." I say trying to diffuse his explosive temper.

"How can I calm down when you're in bed with my _sister_?!" he yells

"Jon it's not what you think-" Clary interjects, also trying to calm him down.

"You." He starts, pointing at her, "Shut the hell up you little-"

"Jon." I say in a warning tone before he can even finish his sentence.

"You screwed her didn't you?" He turns his attention back to me.

"JON!" Clary raises her voice in a shocked tone.

"What did I tell you?" He says back to her, which makes her cringe a little.

"Hey." I say sharply, getting out of the bed "First of all don't talk to her that way."

"I can talk to her however the hell I want to. You." He says the last point staring straight at Clary. "Come here."

Clary looks torn. She's trying to cover herself up but she looks like she knows has to leave the safety of the bed. Slowly, though, she shakes her head.

"No?!" he says, letting out an extremely creepy laugh.

He walks over to the bed, with every step she shrinks into the covers more before he goes up and rips then off of her exposing her bra and jeans that she's still wearing.

He gives off another creepy laugh before turning back around to me, his eyes wild.

"How _dare_ you." He says

"How dare I _what_ Jon?" I ask him, pissed "How dare I don't treat your sister like shit like you do? How dare I keep her from getting even more hurt by Valentine?"

Out of the corner of my eye I see Clary scrambling to put on her shirt. Jon and I are staring at each other so intensely you can almost hear the tension crackling.

It's about to hit the fan right now.

"Clary." I say through gritted teeth "Go to Izzy's room."

"Oh she's not going anywhere. Without me at least" Jon says, roughly grabbing his sister's arm.

"I swear if you take one step with her…"

"JACE! IZZY! I HAVE TAKEOUT." We all hear Robert call from downstairs followed by the sound of the front door closing.

I see Izzy pass by my room and stop for a second looking at the scene and mouths 'oh shit.'

"Watch me" Jon says as he walks toward the stairs pulling Clary with him.

I don't even think after that.

The next thing I know I'm slamming into Jon like we do to the punching bags at football practice. We both roughly tumble down the staircase, Clary falling down a couple herself, until we reach the bottom.

I here screaming coming from Izzy and probably Clary too, but I barely acknowledge them through the slurry of punches being thrown by both of us. There's a point when I'm on top of him pummeling him until I see blood on my knuckles and the next thing I know he's putting all of his weight on me throwing punches left and right.

I hear Robert yelling at us now but we're too involved in this fight to stop.

Clary comes up to Jon at one point as I'm fighting to get him off of me. She pulls at her brother's shirt and tries her best to get him off of me until he finally turns around and slaps her square in the face.

Hard.

If it wasn't on already it's on now.

I punch him in the stomach as hard as I can, which knocks the wind out of him giving me a chance to get from under him.

I pick him up by the front of his shirt as he's still trying to catch his breath. And pin him against the wall feeling beyond pissed, beyond infuriated and way beyond angry.

He attempts to punch me while he's pinned against the wall. I take the arm he attempts to hit me with and use the momentum to spin him around, bending his arm so far back it's close to being broken.

"YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT?!" I yell at him, no longer able to hold in disgust.

"JACE" I hear Robert yell

"TELL ME YOU DIDN'T JUST DO THAT TO MY _GIRLFRIEND_!"

"JACE LIGHTWOOD!" Robert yells again trying to get my attention.

" I WILL FUCKING BREAK YOU IN HALF IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN YOU HEAR ME?"

"JONATHAN LIGHTWOOD!"

"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION MORGENSTERN!"

"JONATHAN STEPHEN HERONDALE."

As Robert says my full name I definitely know he means business. I let go of Jon and he falls to ground looking incredibly guilty.

"Clary." He attempts to say from the blood flowing into his mouth from a split lip.

"Clary please I'm sorry 'sis."

I turn around to see Izzy helping a bawling Clary up who's bleeding on her face from the slap Jon inflicted on her.

I don't even have the audacity to look at Jon again as I turn and go to Clary.

Robert, however, stops me.

"She needs a second, and you do too. Go up and get cleaned up. I promise you she'll be here when you come back."

"What about _him_?" I say

"He will too." He needs to get tended to."

I groan, running a hand through my hair and then go upstairs.

When I get out of the shower and put on a pair basketball shorts and a t shirt.

I look in the mirror to see I didn't actually fare as bad as originally thought I did; only a cut on the side of my lip, a cut on the side of my forehead, some split knuckles, a bruise on my shoulder and a slightly blackened eye that should probably heal in a couple days.

However all I think about is Clary. Jesus I hope she's okay; If she isn't Jon is a dead man, she's going through enough shit already and now Jon, the one person she probably truly trusted, has to just shatter it all.

I take the stairs two at a time anxious to see my girlfriend. When I do she's sitting on the kitchen counter with Robert finishing patching her up. She looks like she also just showered from how she's changed into some of Izzy pajama shorts and a tank top. Robert goes to pat her on the back but she instinctively flinches away. She gives Robert a sad look sad look, who smiles back at her and seems to understand.

When Clary finally notices me standing by the entrance of the kitchen, she hops off of the counter runs over to me to give me a hug. I lightly embrace her back.

"Are you okay?" she asks me, gently running her hand down my face.

"Am _I_ okay?" I ask incredulously, it's amazing how even when she's hurt how she still worries about me. "I think the better question is are _you_ okay?"

She doesn't answer immediately, just looks down at our interlocked hands.

" I don't have anyone anymore. At least on this continent." She says half to herself

"Hey." I say, gently lifting up her chin.

"You have me. You'll _always_ have me and Izzy and Robert and Maryse and Magnus and Alec. See there's 6 people that'll always be there for you."

"You forgot church." She says, sounding lighthearted which makes me chuckle.

"Where the heck is that cat anyways?" I joked with her.

"You know you'll always have me." She says, offering me a small smile.

"Well I glad to hear." I smile back.

Not a minute after Clary and I walk into the kitchen does Jon show up looking pretty beat up.

He has a huge black eye along with a split lower lip, what looks like at least a fractured nose, a cut on his forehead to his eye and probably a lot more from the way he has a small limp.

I'm sure as hell ready for round two though.

"Clary." He says meeting her eyes, she tries her best to shy away from him but she eventually hits a wall. "Clary I'm sorry." He says as gently as he can.

She looks down at her hands as if she's not sure what to say. When she doesn't say anything after a second he takes it as a sign to come closer to her.

This time I'm not fast enough to get to her before he does so I hesitantly wait for her reaction.

Clary stands there rigid as her brother talks to her in a hushed whisper even I can't hear. Every now and then she'll nod or shake her head; it isn't until Jon chooses to touch her hair that she decides to push him away.

"What's happened to you Jon?" she says loud enough for me to hear. "You're turning into a mini Valentine."

"Well I'm sorry that he's my biological father?" he says back

"So? He's mine too. That doesn't mean you have to be like him you asshole." She says back defiantly.

This seems to break something in him, which causes Jon to take both of her arms roughly so she's pinned against the wall.

"What did you just call me?" he says dangerously. "I said I was sorry so why don't you just get in the car and we can go home."

"Where's that? 'Valentine's hell hole' or 'casa de my asshole brother'?"

she tries to get away from him and that's when I decide enough is enough. Not even caring anymore I go up to what used to be my best friend, roughly grab his arm so he's facing me and then clock him square in the face so he's knocked out.

I hear a gasp escape from Clary's lips before she comes over to me.

"did you just kill him?!"

"Relax. He's just knocked out, he was annoying me." I say as I go to one of the drawers in the kitchen and take out a sharp marker to draw a mustache on his face.

What can I say? I'm immature like that.

After putting him on our front porch and locking the door I turn around to see a worried looking Clary.

"I should probably call Simon." She says

"For what?"

"To take me back to Valentine's house." She replies, biting her lower lip.

"Clary." I say walking over to her "You can't go back there I won't let you. He'll hurt you."

"Well I don't want you to get hurt either." She says back firmly.

"You don't worry about me, you have enough to worry about already, therefore you're not going back there okay?"

She looks down for a second, reluctant before nodding at me.

"Good." I say giving her a light peck on the cheeks "Now let's see what we have to eat because I don't know about you but I'm starving."

She gives off a light giggle that makes my heart skip a beat as I take her hand and walk to the kitchen with her.

I immediately go to the pantry where I raid it of every snack food from popcorn to those sugar cookies you see at the store that are just the bomb.

"A feast." I say as we walk out to the living room and place everything on the ground "Only for the best."

She smiles at me as if I'm going half crazy but goes to sit down on the ground in front of the couch. I turn on the TV to find one of our favorite shows, Sherlock, and we both cuddle close to each other. I open the bag of popcorn and prop it on my knee so we both have access to it.

As we're watching the show I feel Clary's hand go up to my black eye, her fingers lightly touching it.

"This is my fault." She says quietly, looking ashamed.

"No it isn't." I say "Jon was way off today, he had no right to treat you like that."

"Yeah…" She says vaguely, which makes me raise an eyebrow.

" and…"

"Nothing." She says, trying to drop the subject. I continue looking at her "Really Jace." She says giving me a light kiss on the lips.

I drop it for now and we continue watching the show.

After probably the first or second episode (They're like an hour and a half long each!) I can tell Clary's starting to doze on my chest.

"Clary." I whisper, her eyes droop open a little looking at me tiredly. "You know you can tell me anything right?" I ask

she gives me a tired smile and nods before lying back down on my chest.

"I love you, Clary." I whisper into her hair. She mumbles something back to me before totally falling asleep.

The only thing I can do now is try to enjoy the moment as best I can and try not think about tomorrow.

**AN: LOVE IS GROWING STRONGER. PEOPLE ARE CHANGING. BONDS GROW FARTHER APART. WHAT WILL HAPPEN ON THE NEXT EDITION OF TERRIBLE THINGS?**

**I really hope you guys liked this chapter! I'm sorry it's taking so long to get them up but I'm trying my best! Comment and tell me what you think about it, I love hearing your feedback!**

**I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can if I'm lucky this weekend (pray for no homework!).**

**Also I'm not sure about you guys but I'm really excited to see The Giver that comes out this Friday, It's such a good book!**

**ANYHOO! You guys are all amazing and I love you all so SO much!**

**R & R**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


	20. Chapter 20 preview!

**Chapter 20:**

**CLARY POV**

The first thing that probably shocks me awake is the lack of noise. No heart monitors, no doctors talking in quiet voices, just silence.

The second thing was the lack of the overpowering scent of alcohol and the absence of Valentine's yelling voice.

Oh shit.

Valentine.

I shoot up (probably a little to fast) from the ground Jace and I are laying on and take in my surroundings. Jace is still sleeping soundly next to me, he looks so peaceful that I try extra hard not to make a sound. I press the home button almost blinding myself from the screen brightness to see that it's 4 o'clock in the morning.

The longer I stay here the more panic I feel welling up inside of me.

I get up as slowly as I can trying my best not to stir Jace and go upstairs taking his phone with me.

When I successfully make it up to Jace's room, I let out the breath I've been holding in for who knows how long. I look through Jace's contacts until I find Simon's name, which is put in as 'ratface' in his phone.

Both of my hands are shaking as I'm waiting for him to answer his phone.

"Hello." I hear him mumbling groggily on the other side of the line.

"Oh Simon thank god." I whisper back to him.

"Clary? Where the hell are you?" he asks sounding equally concerned and pissed off.

"I know Simon, I'm sorry. Jace took me home with him after lunch and then there was a fight and then he didn't want me to go back home so I stayed until I woke up a couple of minutes ago. I don't know what I would do if either of you guys got hurt because I didn't listen to Valentine."

The line is silent for a second and I think he hangs up.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes." He says

I let out a sigh of relief "Simon your amazing."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me something I don't know." He says before hanging up.

I hastily get dressed in my clothes from yesterday and get my backpack. Before silently leaving Jace's room as quietly as I came in I take out the picture I drew of us so many weeks ago and gently place it on his bed.

I walk down the stairs silently before making a dash to the front door. I almost jump out of my skin when I see Church the cat sleeping in front of it.

"Sorry Church." I whisper as I pick him up and place him out of the way of the door.

I spare one last look at Jace before silently opening the door and leaving.

_I'm sorry Jace, I just can't take to see you get hurt because of me._

Just as Simon promised his car is outside of the Lightwoods' house waiting for me.

"Simon I seriously cannot thank you enough." I say as I get into the car and we start to drive away.

"Yeah, Yeah." He says, he's still in his pajamas and his hair is tousled from bed head.

"I think you probably would've been better off staying at Jace's house." He admits through gritted teeth.

"What? Simon you know that wouldn't have worked, Valentine, I don't know how, has his ways of finding people. I don't even know why you're still my friend, You're in this mess because you saw something in my and I have no idea what it is to this day." I say as we near Valentine's house.

"I've know you since we were little I wouldn't just throw all of that away." He says as he parks the car.

I take off my seatbelt and suck in a breath as I see the lights are still on in the house. As I get out I brace myself for what's about to come. Simon grabs my arm as my foot's about to touch the pavement.

"Promise me you'll be careful. Call me, text me send a messenger pigeon…anything, if he lays a finger on you." He says in total seriousness looking me dead in the eyes. I look down at where his arm is grabbing mine and then back at his eyes and give him a small nod.

I get out of the car and wait for him to drive off before I open the front door.

"Where have you been missy?"

**AN: Here's a preview of the next chapter because there are no words to explain how sorry I am for not posting another chapter in so long but school and every single after school activity has taken over my life! But just know I haven't forgotten about you guys and my heart is still in the story so I can promise you all I won't give up on this story!**

**You guys are amazing and I love every single one of y'all!**

**XOXO**

**Erin**


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